To have been rude to shop assistant

[Mumoftwo52]

Family doing some shopping today. Go into an independent toy shop. I’m holding DD1 (18m) so she doesn’t pull everything off shelves, 4yo DD runs ahead and picks up a unicorn Jellycat and cuddles it saying ‘can I get this please mummy?’. Shop assistant shouts across the room ‘can she put that back if you’re not going to buy it as it’s expensive’. Me and DH exchange glances but I tell DD to put it back.

We keep browsing but I say to DH that I don’t really fancy buying anything now, and say quite loudly in front of the second shop assistant (who turns out to be the owner): ‘let’s go and find another toy shop where we’re allowed to touch the toys’. Yes I was being snarky but was annoyed.

She says these toys are expensive, she owns all the stock so if my DD damages it, it costs her money. I say I’d understand that if she had dirty hands, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t let her touch anything if she did. DH says it’s a shame kids aren’t allowed to touch toys in a toy shop, and that she’s lost a potential sale, she says that they've had bad experiences in the past and anyway it was clear we weren’t going to buy anything. I said ‘why do you think that?’ She replied: ‘it just is’. We quickly left.

AIBU for letting my kids touch toys in a toy shop? To be clear, this was a soft toy, not something delicate. My DD was holding it in her arms, nothing more.

People are so anti kids these days I really hate it.

I was a young child in the 1980s which wasn't yesterday and 'look don't touch' when in shops was dinned into me then.

This isn't a new trend and it's got nothing to do with child hating.

Children need to learn how to behave ! The sense of entitlement by parents is breathtaking. My children understood the word NO when they were under three…it’s not that hard 🤷‍♀️

My dd is 13 and l still don't let her touch things in shops !

Sorry OP but you hate people because they are anti kids but many of the posters here who don’t agree with you have kids. I have kids and I think you were rude and entitled.

Kids are sticky, germy, dirty etc. You let your kid run around a shop , pick up a toy and hold it close )thinking again of germs, sticky hands etc) and are mad because th store owner doesn’t want your kid doing this to an expensive item. Bear in mind you weren’t there when she did it as in you didn’t hand it to her so the shop owner doesn’t know what your kid is going to do.

I really don’t know why you posted here. You really don’t agree with anyone who doesn’t see your side and the majority don’t. Then you just seem to want to argue.

You have your answer - 3/4 of people think you are being unreasonable.

4 yos are sticky. I’m surprised by the number of posters who think it’s fine for a 4 yo to pick up an expensive jelly cat toy. Retail is so hard with online competition. I’m on the teach your dc not to run ahead and touch stuff in shops side. That’s just basic shop etiquette and at 4 is within their understanding. Shop lady was rude but imo your minimal parenting started it.

😂 not anti kids just anti parents who don’t parent. I have 3dc including twins and at one point the twins were both 4. I taught them to check with me before touching and kept them close in shops. Even my dogs are clever enough to wait for permission to run off.

I think you’re in the wrong. I had a short stint working at the entertainer and parents would let kids do whatever with the toys. Soft toys would be damp, smelly and sticky cause the kids would put them in their mouth etc. Was such a vile job that I immediately starting applying for a new one and left after 2 weeks!

I mean….if you are going to stock precious collectible items for adults (in a toy shop) maybe just move them up a shelf or two.

If everyone allowed their children to pick up whatever expensive toys they fancied in a toy shop with dirty hands etc, then the goods get soiled.

It should be a look and not touch policy. You were undoubtedly rude in both your actions of allowing your child to pick up and cuddle an expensive toy and then with your sarcastic comments to the shop owner who was within her rights to try and stop her goods getting soiled.

I see both sides. She’s probably tired of having plushies ruined by kids sticky / snotty hands. On the other hand, kids love to touch so it’s natural for her to grab.

As you had the toddler, DH should have been monitoring DD to make sure she didn’t grab stuff. The shop staff probably panicked because they saw dd unsupervised.

Also, independent shops are closing every day, I can understand why they’d be nervous about stock. They’re not like IKEA who can afford lots of losses.

🤣🤣, true!

some of us use the word "no" and teach our children. Mind blowing concept for some, I know.

She was quite rude but honestly I wonder about some people's approach to parenting these days!
Parents willingly allow their children to damage stock, rip open packets, ride scooters/skateboards around the shop, bounce balls and generally mess about usually the so called parent isn't even with the child, they've buggered off to look at something else!
This damage costs each store money and who do you think pays for it? (Not the shoplifters obviously they put prices up even more but that's a whole different thread!)

You don't let your kids pick up things unless your going to buy them - basic parenting imo

You should have told dd that instead of being a complete bitch to the shop person

I tell my kids not to touch stuff in shops. If they do, I am apologetic not bitchy!

Your 18 month old is irrelevant as there were two parents there!

Well said @BankHolidayBonanza
@Edenmum2 What’s ‘mental’ is the shockingly poor standard of parenting these days! How is it that my DC never caused me this issue in shops? Because they were actually parented! They were definitely old enough at 18 months to understand the word no and they only touched something once ot had been bought.

Love that for you

Fair enough, you were going to buy a jellycat, but even so and to echo others, you look with your eyes, not your hands. This was drummed into my as a child and something I still think of when I'm browsing in shops!

Either way, your DD should have waited until you had purchased before touching it, let alone cuddling it.

Edited to add that I agree with many other PPs, children need to be given boundaries and told no. Be an actual parent.

This. So many parents these days have no idea how to bring up their children properly.

If you think every child should be able to touch all the toys in the toy shop, even if the parents have no intention in actually buying, presumably you'd be very happy to buy a toy that had been touched, picked up and cuddled by the dozens of dirty, sticky, snot covered hands of the children who had previously picked it up.

have you seen the price tags on them ? just because they seem like a toy does not mean they are a toy so had your child damaged one would you have been willing to pay the cost or would it be im not paying that for a toy ?

Edited to having just caught up on the ops posts.

I tell my kids to look at the toys not touch them without asking. Also most kids seems to permanently be covered in food, glitter and other things and never get wiped clean so I completely understand the owner's worries.

Sounds like a horrible toy shop. Why have cuddly toys within reach of small children any normal person would expect a child to touch them and no it isn’t rude for children to do that!

Entitled parents again, not parenting.

*any entitled and lazy parent would expect the child to touch them

is what you meant.
The rest of us try to teach our kids basic manners.

It's so awful because the member of staff couldn't possibly know how clean your child was.

I wouldn't have dared pick up something that didn't belong to me at that age.

If your children do, it's because you haven't taught them otherwise.