To have been rude to shop assistant

[Mumoftwo52]

Family doing some shopping today. Go into an independent toy shop. I’m holding DD1 (18m) so she doesn’t pull everything off shelves, 4yo DD runs ahead and picks up a unicorn Jellycat and cuddles it saying ‘can I get this please mummy?’. Shop assistant shouts across the room ‘can she put that back if you’re not going to buy it as it’s expensive’. Me and DH exchange glances but I tell DD to put it back.

We keep browsing but I say to DH that I don’t really fancy buying anything now, and say quite loudly in front of the second shop assistant (who turns out to be the owner): ‘let’s go and find another toy shop where we’re allowed to touch the toys’. Yes I was being snarky but was annoyed.

She says these toys are expensive, she owns all the stock so if my DD damages it, it costs her money. I say I’d understand that if she had dirty hands, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t let her touch anything if she did. DH says it’s a shame kids aren’t allowed to touch toys in a toy shop, and that she’s lost a potential sale, she says that they've had bad experiences in the past and anyway it was clear we weren’t going to buy anything. I said ‘why do you think that?’ She replied: ‘it just is’. We quickly left.

AIBU for letting my kids touch toys in a toy shop? To be clear, this was a soft toy, not something delicate. My DD was holding it in her arms, nothing more.

Thank you.

I voted YABU because although the shop assistant was rude, I also dislike passive aggressive comments. It’s the type of thing I would have said when younger, but as I’ve got older and hopefully less easily annoyed, I think a better reply would have been a pleasant “we actually popped in to buy a Jellycat toy and wanted DD to pick her favourite, sorry to have upset you” or something to that effect, then left.

This gets the same message across ie they’ve lost a sale but without the need for sarcasm.

I’m beginning to understand why the woman wanted you all out of her shop with all possible speed, op 😆
You are not giving good account of yourself at all.

Ask people to judge if she was BU.
Complains when people judge and tell her she’s BU.
Classic MN.

Nowhere did @Arlanymor say that. You’re just making things up because you’ve been called out on being vile.

YABU.

I’m old.
I remember my 3rd birthday party when all the older kids blew out the candles on my birthday cake before I had a chance to and it made me cry.
Oddly enough, I don’t remember ever going into a toy store.
I can remember going into a store that had toys, but that’s it.
I don’t ever remember grabbing anything - but that’s probably because there wasn’t anything very special. Barbies were about it for girls, and I was never a Barbie girl.
If the toy store owner in this case didn’t want little hands on her valuable items, she should’ve put them up out of reach. It’s unreasonable to expect a little kid to remember their manners when they see something so alluring.
Being in a toy store is overwhelming in the first place for such a young child. Their senses are on overdrive.
That’s my take, anyhow.

Having a shop means accepting things get damaged, and you factor that into your expenses.

Independent businesses are facing a really challenging time, and wr should he supporting the ones we like, not just shrugging off avoidable damage as if they were some large chain.

Control your child, she shouldn't be touching things that don't belong to her.

It seems to be normal with those 'Jellycat' teddies - wherever I've seen them on sale there are signs asking that children don't touch them. Probably bad experiences with youngsters getting snot/drool on them. The price of them is insane, can't blame the shops really.

Exactly this.

Wow.
Either you genuinely don’t get it or that was a “Yeah, yeah, I know I’m right” performance worthy of your own four year old.
Good God.

I'm also 50/50

I can understand not wanting kids with sticky hands touching anything (and agree with PPs that she doesn't know if your child's hands are clean) but also think it's unusual for children to touch things in a toy shop.

Were you going to buy it? Maybe the reason she thought you weren't as it was clearly the child asking rather than her hearing you say she could select something and you'd buy it.

I doubt her business will fold just because you didn't buy a jelly cat.

Pick up and carry?

You're making it worse, why do you think your child should be allowed to treat the shop stock like their own toys?

Your attitude here isn't doing you any favours

And before you ask I do have children and I didnt let them move stuff around in shops but I'm old school and strict

I imagine toy shops get a fair few sales from persuadable parents seeing a child tightly hugging a soft toy and saying “pleeeeeeease”. Seems a bit counter intuitive to keep the children off them tbh.

Precisely
Passive aggressive is bad.

I see no issue with a child picking up a toy in a toy shop.
Id have made the same passive aggressive comment too 😂
Think some people have forgotten what it’s like to parent small children.
If my toddler damaged something I’d pay for it, simple as that but picking up a small stuffed animal really caused no harm.

Shop keeper was awful

YANBU, bizarrely people on mumsnet seem to be the most intolerant bunch there is when it comes to children. We’ve moved on from children should be seen and not heard…

Very rude to handle things in a shop like that, unless invited. Also, children's hands are never clean - they may be clean to you, but after 25 children with ;clean hands' grab and handle the toy, had I been this shop owner, I would not feel comfortable selling this toy to a different person at a price, as I would deem this toy 'not to be new'. You should teach your children not to grab or touch things not belonging to them, if they are not invited to do so by the owner of those things, it in a shop, or maybe in the street - with dogs on leads, etc. Good thing you and your husband seem to be of a mind in relation to this. But surely you know soft toys are not easy to clean and they can become vessels for bacteria?

Not anti kids, anti badly behaved kids and parents who think their child can do no wrong.
Yes I have children. Two are teenagers and a 4 year old with SEN. None of them have picked things up and wiped dirt all over a toy ( yes I know your DD is perfect) because we taught them not to.
Why wasn't your DH with your eldest to avoid the whole situation? Your and your DHs comments were so snide and self righteous. I don't expect they care much about loosing one sale.

Bravo, and that is why your children will not have to be embarrassingly taught by strangers, because that is what happens if parents don't teach their children to behave - and they will teach them, in front of their contemporaries. Hopefully it will happen at school for the OP's children and not at uni or in a workplace.

Owners of toy shops should expect this!

She was an arse and didn’t deserve your money!

That is absolutely foul