To have been rude to shop assistant

[Mumoftwo52]

Family doing some shopping today. Go into an independent toy shop. I’m holding DD1 (18m) so she doesn’t pull everything off shelves, 4yo DD runs ahead and picks up a unicorn Jellycat and cuddles it saying ‘can I get this please mummy?’. Shop assistant shouts across the room ‘can she put that back if you’re not going to buy it as it’s expensive’. Me and DH exchange glances but I tell DD to put it back.

We keep browsing but I say to DH that I don’t really fancy buying anything now, and say quite loudly in front of the second shop assistant (who turns out to be the owner): ‘let’s go and find another toy shop where we’re allowed to touch the toys’. Yes I was being snarky but was annoyed.

She says these toys are expensive, she owns all the stock so if my DD damages it, it costs her money. I say I’d understand that if she had dirty hands, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t let her touch anything if she did. DH says it’s a shame kids aren’t allowed to touch toys in a toy shop, and that she’s lost a potential sale, she says that they've had bad experiences in the past and anyway it was clear we weren’t going to buy anything. I said ‘why do you think that?’ She replied: ‘it just is’. We quickly left.

AIBU for letting my kids touch toys in a toy shop? To be clear, this was a soft toy, not something delicate. My DD was holding it in her arms, nothing more.

You’re judging my parenting and I’m nasty?

I've just Googled unicorn Jellycats and they're a very pale cream colour. I'm not surprised the owner didn't want it touched by your child. In fact even an adult could have hands that weren't spotlessly clean and who would leave a mark when handling one. Best to make sure your children know not to touch items in shops.

My DGD has that jelly cat. It's £60 & white... Not surprised she didn't want it manhandled

It’s rude to say children acting like children makes them badly behaved. It’s especially the height of ignorance and arrogance to comment when you know little about children.

There is nothing out of the ordinary about OPs children. A grabby baby and an overexcited four year old, very very normal.

You posted in AIBU, I think you are BU. And getting more so as this thread continues.

The child she was holding is 18 months old 😂😂😂 so no I dont imagine they have quite grasped how to behave in public..

Wtf

Ditto. It’s not just childless old crones who think op was unreasonable 🙄

You were extremely rude.

It's a toy shop, not a playgroup. No, you can't let your children "touch the toys" , no need for the fake naivety and pretend you think it's all ok.

We have all seen the state of bigger chains where kids are allowed to "touch" the toys and everything is dumped on the floor. You are not the only parent who behaves that way, it doesn't make it right.

You were with your DH, one adult per child, absolutely 0 excuse for letting your child touch things.

I love that basic manners and basic discipline makes us "perfect parents". Standards are low for some.

I didn’t say that, at all. And I think it’s the height of ignorance and arrogance to assume I don’t have children in my life at all. But, pile on. Enjoy yourself.

what is NOT normal, is the parents letting the little darlings do what they want. Holding the baby was the right thing to do, but 2 adults who can't say no to a 4 year old? Lazy parenting at best. How do kids learn if you don't teach them?

Picking it up and looking at it is ok but it she was walking around with it I can kind of see her point. So it depends how long she had it for. They are expensive and are often stolen so she might not have wanted it being misplaced in the shop. If any of my kids pick something I tell them to put it back if I'm not going to be buying it.

And unfortunately there is nothing out of the ordinary with people feeling they can be rude to retail workers. It happens far too much and op is a prime example of what is wrong with people who do this

But do you not understand you’re ASKING people to judge your parenting? You just don’t like what they have to say?

You’ve embarrassed yourself with this comment. I can just picture the snottiness in the shop…

Lol. You started the thread asking for opinions.

No one needs to assume. The fact that you think an 18 month old is developmentally able to know “how to behave in public” proves the point.
No one with close contact with young children can possibly think this. It’s akin to being shocked that a 5 month old isn’t talking.

It is a shop, not a playground OP.

Your partner was with you and you should have been supervising one child each to make sure your daughter wasn't pulling things out of shelves and risking damaging them.

The owner & staff probably have had enough of entitled parents letting their kids touch and handle everything without care and without buying...

You asked if you ABU

YOU asked

And yes, you are being unreasonable

Poor parenting to allow a child to cuddle a toy which isnt hers

If I had a toy shop, knowing the customers I'd attract would include children, then I'd put expensive stock out of reach because while yes, children should be taught not to touch, they see adults do it all the time, and its not really in the spirit of a shop aimed at children to be that precious. They said, I can never understand why people get into these spats with randoms. All that was needed was to leave the shop if you felt unwelcome and not take your business there.

You said my children were running wild, that’s bitchy. I was bitchy back. Welcome to Mumsnet.

Where did I say that?

So alllll these people on this thread never pick something up to look at it before they buy it? And they’ve NEVER let their child touch a non breakable toy in a TOY shop?!!! Sure

im not saying that there was any need for rudeness on either part but these replies are mental

What does a nonsensical comment like this even mean?
You’re “being judged” because your behaviour was off.
There are plenty of other mums who wouldn’t have behaved as you did.

Whilst I think she was somewhat lacking in good customer service, I do think that some parents need to supervise their children more in shops. I work for a well-known chain of bookshops which also sells toys, including Jellycats.

Mouth organs are blown, putty is squeezed, book flaps are ripped, goods are left strewn over the floor - it's like retail Armegeddon. I once had to bite my tongue as I watched a father and his primary-school aged son bounce a ball to each other from one side of the shop to the other.

The trouble is that no one wants to buy goods where the boxes are ripped etc. There's only so much stock that you can write off.

Incidentally, Jellycat thefts are rife (not saying that this was the case here). The shop owner was probably feeling a bit precious about any Jellycats she had left on the shelf!

Hmm I think the OP is definitely demonstrating why the shop keeper got snotty with her. But what would I know. I’m another childless person who obviously can’t have an opinion on the badly behaved children we are stuck with in this society.