Uncomfortable comment from a work colleague I don’t know

[JenJen94]

I’m a bit unsure how to feel after a comment made to me this morning - whether it’s right I’m creeped out or if I’m over-reacting.

Without being too outing, I work at the head office for a big national company so several thousand employees on site across the week and obviously I don’t know everyone.

I usually park in the same spot every morning (in office 3 days a week) and quite often a man is parked a few spots along who will start at a similar time to me. I don’t know him, never see him in the office or know what department he’s in etc.

Today, he was parked up before me but I saw he was sat in his car when I arrived. I got my stuff out and began to walk to the office. I heard him get out of his car about 15/20 seconds after I walked past.

I got stuck behind someone at the entrance to the office and he had caught up by that point. He said to me ‘got your legs out today then’ as I was wearing a skirt given the hot weather.

I smiled/sheepishly laughed and walked on into the office.

Is this creepy given I don’t know this person or is it just me?

I think it depends on how he said it really. My dad used to say this and I think men think it’s a sort of compliment that they’ve noticed you’ve got legs or something. In most cases I’d say it’s harmless but if you find it creepy then he’s probably creepy. Trust your instincts. If he does it again maybe you can say, “I’d rather you didn’t comment on my appearance thanks, let’s just stick to the weather eh.” And also ask other office people what he’s like, if you can be bothered.

I totally agree with you and would never make a comment of the sort to anyone - and sod being burnt by the sun and feeling stupid - what it is a condition such as rosacea and a person can't do anything about it. I don't ever comment on others' appearance, don't even say 'you look nice', because I was taught it was rude, but the issue here is different - the comment about having legs out is crass, impolite, personal, but absolutely not creepy. It is just not creepy.

A lot of posters on this thread are underestimating how sexually driven and visual men are. They do not think in the same way as women!

Why is a stranger commenting on your legs being out, yes that is creepy and unwanted attention. In my workplace they'd be hauled in to HR for a word and probably given some training as whether or not it was their intention it's made someone feel uncomfortable.

If a man was wearing shorts in April, there's every chance another man, or a woman, would make exactly that comment to him. The difference would be the context, not the comment.

so he's never said anything before, never said hello, yet as soon as OP shows some skin he's there like a rat up a drainpipe

If he continues to "wait" for you and make comments then, yes, this one can then be creepy

He didn't comment on her looks or make any comment about appearance

He said a fairly common phrase as something had changed about her

The main point here is that OP does not know this man at all. He is not an office mate. So not usual office co-worker "banter". Creepy, especially as that is how it makes you feel. Trust your instinct, tone/body language/facial expression is everything.

Apply the ‘would he say it to a man’ test.

Would he tell a man ‘Got your legs out, then?’

No, he wouldn’t. Ergo, he’s a creepy dickhead. Be prepared to tell him not to comment on your body next time.

On a more serious note, car parks are a high risk location for sexual assault and attacks. Also having a set routine can be observed by predators.

OP can you switch your routine up from now - park elsewhere and arrive extra early to send a clear signal and make your movements less obvious to a potential stalker.

Oh come off it. It was a testing-the-water mild chat-up line.

Apologies!! 😄

When was the last time you told a man you’ve never met ‘Got your legs out, then?’ How is that a common phrase?

Potential stalker? Don’t be ridiculous

Blatantly!

Why is that being ridiculous? It's being aware of your actions and listening to your gut feeling.

He's not a complete stranger, they see each other every day.

If I was suddenly in a position where we were in the same space and something had changed about his appearance, then yes I might

"Got your legs out" is very common when someone who usually wears long trousers etc suddenly wears something shorter. Male or female

Yes, he might do, as several people on this thread have already commented.

He is a stranger. OP says ‘I don’t know him, never see him in the office or know what department he’s in etc.’

When did you last ask a strange man ‘Got your legs out, then?’

So when was the last time you asked a strange man ‘Got your legs out, then?’

Pull the other one.

If he looked like Brad Pitt I would have been well chuffed …. but then I’m shallow!

I don't believe for 1 minute that he would say that to a man whom he'd never previously spoken to.

I have to say, I've heard men say this a lot to each other when they wear shorts, so based on your criteria, sounds fine.

Wouldn’t bother me

And yet she sees him every day enough to know where he parks and recognises him

I also, strangely, don't recall every comment I ever make to other people which have no impact on my life beyond that interaction