I'm being blackmailed **TW: contains content about alleged child abuse**

[Wheretoturnnow12345]

I'm honestly at my wits end here. Someone I've not heard from in 15 years has made contact today out of the blue and is blackmailing me over something I did in the past when I was 16. This could seriously ruin my life and I genuinely don't know what to do

Posting here mainly for traffic

Just seen your update. I'd respond that an attempt to blackmail someone is a crime and if you ever hear from them again you will report them to the police.

Surely if he feels he was sexually abused ,at 13 then the way to go forward with that would be to.go directly to.the police not try and black mail his " abuser" for money?

Wow

If ANYONE, regardless of sex or age, has sex r commits sex acts because the other person says "I will ruin your life if you don't" then they are being coerced.

Simple

According to this from what I understand:
https://www.nhsborders.scot.nhs.uk/patients-and-visitors/our-services/general-services/underage-sexual-activity-interagency-guidance/sex,-young-people-and-the-law/

The 13 year old would ALSO be committing and offence by engaging in sexual activity and it was the blow job not that hand job which was the issue

And BTW, from other sources online, a 10 year old can be charged for sexual offences if they engage in sexual activities with someone under 13 (and there are some shocking cases out there where 10 year olds HAVE been done which involve very young children) so excusing him at 13 is also not ok

No you don't understand it.

Why are people Googling things and thinking they now have knowledge?

It is also a criminal offence for both girls and boys aged 13, 14 and 15 to have consensual sex with anyone else aged 13, 14 or 15. This applies whether they are the initiating partner or the consenting partner.

If OP had also being lying about 16 it definitely would have been

You do know that a 13 year old boy is already probably bigger and stronger than a 16 year old girl and far more threatening? Just because the OP was 16 does not mean she wasn't still the victim.

I think people are getting confused because of the fact that the crime was sexual in nature.
OP committed a crime, the first time unknowingly and the second time under coercion. This could have been any other crime and the perpetrator would still be the 13 year old boy.

Go to the police.

Explain the situation - he co-erced you, you were unaware of his age at the time/he lied to you about his age - he is now blackmailing you and claims to have video evidence.

The chances of the outcome of doing that being worse than the outcome of him continuing to make threats or indeed publicising the video are MINUTE, literally non-existant.

It is the only way, if you give him money or whatever else it is he wants you tell him he can repeatedly do this to you for the rest of your life.

He is an adult now using sexual images to exhort money from you - definitely a crime. The fact he was underage at the time actually only adds to his crime as he has images of it

Email him this: “Have forwarded your details and message to police. As this is now a police matter, upon advice I will not communicate further. Any contact by other means by yourself will be duly forwarded to the police.”

Then block, forget and move on.

This is why you shouldn't Google and think that means you know the law.

It is considered a criminal offence for anyone under the age of consent to engage in sexual activity as they are under the legal age of consent.

This is to protect children.

But would it be prosecuted with similar aged children who are consenting? No.

They are not able to consent in law but unless evidence is provided to suggest force, exploitation or coercion by a similar aged child which could be prosecuted criminally through rape, sexual assault etc then the Police and CPS would not pursue a conviction and the children involved would be referred to social services or other agencies.

The Police aren't seeking to pursue similarly aged children for sexual offences that happen consensually between children over the age of 12.

Teenagers have been engaging in consensual sexual activity with each other since forever.

It'd not a criminal matter unless there are specific sexual offences happening.

Yes, go to the police. They are highly unlikely prosecute you for your actions then. I work in safeguarding and the police would simply advise support and protection for both young people in this scenario.

They very well might prosecute him for his illegal actions as an adult.

i think it’s obvious he was bigger and stronger than her as she mistook him for 16 and he lied and said he was 16.

OP were you actually 16 or almost 16? Was he 13 or nearly 14? I’m pretty sure that if there is 2 years age difference then it’s not a crime anyway.

as a pp said too, grainy footage filmed on a 2010 phone, by the boy receiving the blow job is likely not going to show much in the way of identifying either of them. Particularly the boy is he was filming her committing the act. Unless he turned the phone round to show his face too ? Seems unlikely. I can’t see how the police would be remotely interested.

Thanks all following the general advice I'm going to block and disengage but if he contacts again straight to the police

I think you should go to the police. I don't think they'd pursue what you did back then as a criminal matter at all, particularly because you were coerced.

They would be very interested to hear about this blackmail though. It's a serious crime.

Mostly I think you should go to protect yourself, but also because he sounds a very nasty piece of work, who is likely sexually abusing others as well.

Mostly I think you should go to protect yourself, but also because he sounds a very nasty piece of work, who is likely sexually abusing others as well.

I wonder if you can report him anonymously. He may be 'known' to the police already and/or is likely to have other deviant activities ongoing.

You need to give yourself a break. You didn’t know and he was abusing you then and is trying to do it now.

you are probably not the only person he has done this to.

i believe what others are saying. You should go to the police. Imagine it was your daughter, what would you tell her? You’d be devastated she’d felt like she had to do that, you were only 16, a child yourself.

This isn’t true. We have a situation being investigated by the police at the moment. My son is 15 and the girl is 13 and lied about her age.

That’s the perfect way to deal with this. I hope you never hear from him again

They did it again, and oral, again when they knew he was 13.

WTF, did you read the bit where OP was blackmailed and coerced into those further acts?