Page 6 | I'm being blackmailed **TW: contains content about alleged child abuse**

Wheretoturnnow12345 · 2025-04-28T12:00:09+00:00

I'm honestly at my wits end here. Someone I've not heard from in 15 years has made contact today out of the blue and is blackmailing me over something I did in the past when I was 16. This could seriously ruin my life and I genuinely don't know what to do Posting here mainly for traffic

Ablondiebutagoody · 28/04/2025 14:28

BacktoBeginnersFran · 28/04/2025 14:23

Because it doesn't support the faux outrage.
The OP didn't use such disgusting language when saying what happened, but this poster thinks it's OK.

OP, I hope you're picking up on the helpful posts and don't get bogged down reading the drivel.

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Faux outrage? All I can say is no wonder stuff like Rotherham can happen if this is the prevailing attitude. Children aren't at fault for being sexually abused, no matter what the circumstances.

HuffleMyPuffle · 28/04/2025 14:30

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CuttedPearPie · 28/04/2025 14:30

He may have filmed it but are you sure he has the video still?

In 2010 I was in my early 20s and had just got my first smart phone.
I find it hard to believe that a 13 year old in 2010 would have been savvy enough to film some revenge porn, although it's possible.

Plus, media files from 15 years ago? Again, would a 13 year old have been savvy enough to upload that file somewhere to be used years later? Or is he saying he is still able to retrieve files off a 2010 device?

Just thinking that he could be trying to simply scare you but has nothing

Batteredtoe · 28/04/2025 14:32

Ablondiebutagoody · 28/04/2025 14:28

Faux outrage? All I can say is no wonder stuff like Rotherham can happen if this is the prevailing attitude. Children aren't at fault for being sexually abused, no matter what the circumstances.

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Jesus wept, in what way is what happened in Rotherham even a tiny bit similar to two teenage children?

Ablondiebutagoody · 28/04/2025 14:34

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The attitude that the girls wanted the abuse was the same. Just like you and most of this thread. Unbelievable

Batteredtoe · 28/04/2025 14:34

Is it even likely that a 15yo video taken by someone 13yo at the time still exists?

Presumably it was on a phone that's long gone.

x2boys · 28/04/2025 14:34

Ablondiebutagoody · 28/04/2025 14:28

Faux outrage? All I can say is no wonder stuff like Rotherham can happen if this is the prevailing attitude. Children aren't at fault for being sexually abused, no matter what the circumstances.

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They were both kids!
The situation in Rotheram was terrible ,but they were adults deliberately targeting vulnerable teenagers is NOTHING like Rotheram.

x2boys · 28/04/2025 14:36

Ablondiebutagoody · 28/04/2025 14:34

The attitude that the girls wanted the abuse was the same. Just like you and most of this thread. Unbelievable

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On the face of it he asked for he sexual.acts to be performed on him .

IAmNotALoon · 28/04/2025 14:37

Keep all evidence of blackmail. Do not provide the means that video can be sent to you ( as that makes you complicit in a crime). Do not make any reference to said video. Particularly do not refer to it as child sexual abuse ( or you are admitting CSA! ). Say " I'm going to the police now as blackmail is illegal"and block, do not continue conversation after that. Maybe get legal advice and be prepared to go to the police. But get legal advice first. I'm sorry this has happened to you. I think the attitude of the police would be that you should have reported the incident once the boy told you he was 13 and tried to blackmail you. But they will probably take a lenient view as you were still legally a child. I know that with my kids I have parental responsibility until they are 18. Although I don't think this man will go to the police or publish the videos as he would be in so much trouble just for possessing the video and committing blackmail, two very serious crimes as an adult! However if it did come out and it transpired that you hadn't gone to the police as an adult then I guess it could look worse for you. However, whatever happens I think he is going to be in more trouble.

anytipswelcome · 28/04/2025 14:44

Ablondiebutagoody · 28/04/2025 14:28

Faux outrage? All I can say is no wonder stuff like Rotherham can happen if this is the prevailing attitude. Children aren't at fault for being sexually abused, no matter what the circumstances.

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Comparing this incident to Rotherham is disgusting and an insult to the victims of the hundreds of adults who repeatedly raped and tortured them.

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:25

You know what, there was a thread on here yesterday from a poster whose DH’s sister has just come forward and said that he coerced her into a sex act when he was 16 and she was 13. And the unanimous response has been that the OP should leave, that the DH isn’t safe around teenagers, that he was a disgusting pervert.

Nobody is saying here that the bloke in question is right to be blackmailing the OP, he isn’t. But after the first time when he told her his age she absolutely knew he was under age and continued to give him a blowjob.

No, the police might not be interested, in which case I’d just call his bluff. But the fact remains that she was guilty of abusing a child. It doesn’t matter whether she was still a child in the eyes of the law, she was over the age of consent, and he wasn’t.

HuffleMyPuffle · 28/04/2025 15:27

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x2boys · 28/04/2025 15:28

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:25

You know what, there was a thread on here yesterday from a poster whose DH’s sister has just come forward and said that he coerced her into a sex act when he was 16 and she was 13. And the unanimous response has been that the OP should leave, that the DH isn’t safe around teenagers, that he was a disgusting pervert.

Nobody is saying here that the bloke in question is right to be blackmailing the OP, he isn’t. But after the first time when he told her his age she absolutely knew he was under age and continued to give him a blowjob.

No, the police might not be interested, in which case I’d just call his bluff. But the fact remains that she was guilty of abusing a child. It doesn’t matter whether she was still a child in the eyes of the law, she was over the age of consent, and he wasn’t.

The brother would have known his sister's age ,plus she was his sister so.also.incest plus the sister didn't film.it and then blackmail the brother or try and blackmail.as an adult so.not remotely the same

SpoonyRedOtter · 28/04/2025 15:29

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:25

You know what, there was a thread on here yesterday from a poster whose DH’s sister has just come forward and said that he coerced her into a sex act when he was 16 and she was 13. And the unanimous response has been that the OP should leave, that the DH isn’t safe around teenagers, that he was a disgusting pervert.

Nobody is saying here that the bloke in question is right to be blackmailing the OP, he isn’t. But after the first time when he told her his age she absolutely knew he was under age and continued to give him a blowjob.

No, the police might not be interested, in which case I’d just call his bluff. But the fact remains that she was guilty of abusing a child. It doesn’t matter whether she was still a child in the eyes of the law, she was over the age of consent, and he wasn’t.

WTF do you think that has to do with this thread about blackmail?

The level of intelligence, comprehension and critical thinking on MN is at it's lowest point I think.

HuffleMyPuffle · 28/04/2025 15:31

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:25

You know what, there was a thread on here yesterday from a poster whose DH’s sister has just come forward and said that he coerced her into a sex act when he was 16 and she was 13. And the unanimous response has been that the OP should leave, that the DH isn’t safe around teenagers, that he was a disgusting pervert.

Nobody is saying here that the bloke in question is right to be blackmailing the OP, he isn’t. But after the first time when he told her his age she absolutely knew he was under age and continued to give him a blowjob.

No, the police might not be interested, in which case I’d just call his bluff. But the fact remains that she was guilty of abusing a child. It doesn’t matter whether she was still a child in the eyes of the law, she was over the age of consent, and he wasn’t.

I would think the bigger issue was the DH was abusing his SISTER? And the incest being the pervert issue?

OP was coerced into sex acts she wasn't comfortable with. She was 16 and still a child, very much still vulnerable.

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:31

x2boys · 28/04/2025 15:28

The brother would have known his sister's age ,plus she was his sister so.also.incest plus the sister didn't film.it and then blackmail the brother or try and blackmail.as an adult so.not remotely the same

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But the OP did know his age, after the first time.

As I said nobody is saying that him blackmailing her as an adult is ok. It isn’t. Assuming that he actually is blackmailing her. But at the time he was 13. And as much as people are saying to the OP she was too young to know right from wrong by giving him a blowjob, you can’t have it both ways. If she was too young, then so was he.

So while his blackmail now shouldn’t be tolerated, the OP needs to own her part in what happened at the time.

Ethylred · 28/04/2025 15:32

Fgs talk to a lawyer and not a bunch of anonymous randoms on the internet.

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:35

OP was coerced into sex acts she wasn't comfortable with. She was 16 and still a child, very much still vulnerable. ever heard the term jail bate?

It’s not uncommon for young girls to throw themselves at older boys, and we never say that the boys are being coerced.

I guarantee that if this was a man saying he was being blackmailed people would be questioning whether it was really blackmail or whether she was feeling brave enough to come forward over sexual abuse she’d suffered when she was 13 and he was 16.

But this is MN where double standards abound.

x2boys · 28/04/2025 15:35

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:31

But the OP did know his age, after the first time.

As I said nobody is saying that him blackmailing her as an adult is ok. It isn’t. Assuming that he actually is blackmailing her. But at the time he was 13. And as much as people are saying to the OP she was too young to know right from wrong by giving him a blowjob, you can’t have it both ways. If she was too young, then so was he.

So while his blackmail now shouldn’t be tolerated, the OP needs to own her part in what happened at the time.

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She has

WhereIsMyJumper · 28/04/2025 15:35

This is such a tricky one.
Technically, you both committed a crime. You were old enough to consent, he wasn’t. If that was the full story, I would be worried.
However, he coerced you and blackmailed you in to performing sex acts on him and it doesn’t matter how old YOU were at the time, he still committed a crime. If he had done this to another 13 year old, it would be completely cut and dry.

You have already said you shouldn’t have done it. However, the technical crime you committed has extenuated circumstances. His does not.
Add to that that he is blackmailing you now with this, I would say, that while your conduct wasn’t perfect of course, HE is definitely not the victim here. I think you should go to the police.

Pigsears · 28/04/2025 15:35

I haven't read the full thread...but how do you know who it is? Could someone be imitating that person? Do you have an alternate way to contact them?

5128gap · 28/04/2025 15:36

Do they have proof? And is it something that would be followed up by the police now? Ie, how many years back was it, and how serious was the crime? You don't obviously have to answer that, but clearly certain things are more likely to be taken forward than others.

Batteredtoe · 28/04/2025 15:36

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:35

OP was coerced into sex acts she wasn't comfortable with. She was 16 and still a child, very much still vulnerable. ever heard the term jail bate?

It’s not uncommon for young girls to throw themselves at older boys, and we never say that the boys are being coerced.

I guarantee that if this was a man saying he was being blackmailed people would be questioning whether it was really blackmail or whether she was feeling brave enough to come forward over sexual abuse she’d suffered when she was 13 and he was 16.

But this is MN where double standards abound.

He's not "coming forward", he's blackmailing her for money.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/04/2025 15:36

I'd love you to report him, but I completely understand why it wouldn't be good for you. I doubt you are the only one, just keep any evidence you have from him.
He gives Wayne cusson vibes.

WhereIsMyJumper · 28/04/2025 15:39

Never2many · 28/04/2025 15:25

You know what, there was a thread on here yesterday from a poster whose DH’s sister has just come forward and said that he coerced her into a sex act when he was 16 and she was 13. And the unanimous response has been that the OP should leave, that the DH isn’t safe around teenagers, that he was a disgusting pervert.

Nobody is saying here that the bloke in question is right to be blackmailing the OP, he isn’t. But after the first time when he told her his age she absolutely knew he was under age and continued to give him a blowjob.

No, the police might not be interested, in which case I’d just call his bluff. But the fact remains that she was guilty of abusing a child. It doesn’t matter whether she was still a child in the eyes of the law, she was over the age of consent, and he wasn’t.

Following your logic, sexual coercion is absolutely fine as long as the victim is over 16 🤯