I'm being blackmailed **TW: contains content about alleged child abuse**

[Wheretoturnnow12345]

I'm honestly at my wits end here. Someone I've not heard from in 15 years has made contact today out of the blue and is blackmailing me over something I did in the past when I was 16. This could seriously ruin my life and I genuinely don't know what to do

Posting here mainly for traffic

This is a little murky waters.
Look up, google, Statute of Limitations for under age sex UK
My quick look gives me the impression that he has up to 3 years after he is 21 years old to go to the law.

He lied.
He asked for it.
He filmed it.
He is trying to blackmail you.

Sorry, I am just not seeing a victim of a sexual assault here.

Take legal advice. Phone womens aid or sex crime charity.

You were both children. Try to get some legal advice.

Excellent point.

Go to a criminal law solicitor, they can help you in how to explain this to the police to avoid incriminating yourself while explaining about the blackmail.

The summary will be something like that this person is threatening to expose you for a sexual liaison that they say happened, you did have a brief sexual liaison (initially consensual but no penetration) and it is possible that you were around 16 at the time, [but you do not know the date?]. You met them at a [Party? Pub?] along with [college kids? older group?] so had reason to believe they were also [16? or older?] at the time; you did not and do not know their actual age other than their claim. You were coerced into further sexual acts (again no penetration) and were unaware of any recording being made so that did not have your consent. You are very worried about the blackmail.

You'll feel much better with police following up.

Go to the police OP, or you will never be free of this threat otherwise. Blackmail is a serious crime, you did a silly thing but teens do, you won’t be the first or last to do something you regret. I don’t think the police will be interested, but they will in the blackmail, you might not be the only person he is doing this too. Hopefully they will check his devices. Do you know it is definitely him? Think of how he got back in touch? (Don’t post how on here) they’re also scams like this.

Hang on a minute.

I realize that the OP was young but if this had been a 16 year old boy claiming he’d been blackmailed into having sex with a 13 year old girl the responses would be vastly different.

The 13 year old can’t be guilty of coercion because he was under the age of consent. And while the OP gave him a handjob the first time, she went on to do the same again and a blowjob after she knew the truth.

There’s no excuse for that.

I’m not condoning blackmail but sex with a minor is a serious criminal offence, and there was always a chance of it coming out.

I certainly wouldn’t cave to blackmail, but I do think you should speak to a solicitor and possibly the police to own up to what happened. The blackmailer won’t have anything to go on then but you may have to face the consequences of what happened.

Also OP, take a moment and think through what would happen if you give in to this. Not to scare you, but he wouldn't stop. He'd want more money. He'd tell you that paying up the first time was proof you were "guilty". He'll start asking for other things. Then he'll threaten to expose those too.

The future you in this scenario is looking back begging you to go to the police now and put this shithead in his place. And be free of him. As you deserve to be!

blimey op how awful for that to have happened to you and then for you to have it come back to haunt you again years later. look I don't claim to be an expert on these things but I honestly don't think he has a leg to stand on. he intentionally set you up to manipulate and coerce you into performing sexual acts on him, he recorded said acts without consent. yes obviously the fact that he was underage isn't great but you were both minors at the time this happened and what he did was abusive. I would call his bluff i don't think it will come back on you and think he stands to be in a lot more trouble, esp blackmailing you as an adult and threatening to leek footage, I would bet my house that if he was behaving that way as a teenager this won't have been his only /last crime. call his bluff or ignore op and honestly forgive yourself you were a child in a horrible position. x

There is no statute of limitation in the UK for criminal cases.

People need to stop giving advice that they are not qualified to give. Especially saying Google says....

Not that I think the OP would be charged with anything as I don't think she would but that's nothing to do with a fictional UK statute of limitations for child sex offences.

Also inappropriate advice of call womens aid. They're a charity advising women in domestically abusive situations, not a legal advice service for women.

If she had been 15 and he was 13 it would be legal. I think CPS would seriously struggle to get a prosecution with roles reversed even with biological sex reversed and with full knowledge of age. With the coercion - no. Still, a solicitor would be advisable at the police station to help.

I don't understand all this talk of statute of limitations. If that were relevant for cases like this, none of the recent prosecution for histoic sexual offences would have proceeded.

That said, I don't think anyone is pursuing historic sexual offences cases against people who were 16 and with slightly younger peers.

He did force you

Please realise this

He sexually abused you. Just because he was 13 doesn't change this

There are no statute of limitations in criminal cases in the UK, that’s false.

But you didn't say "no" because you were genuinely and understandably very, very scared!
You can say you should have said "no" from the perspective of the 31 year-old woman you are today. But back then you were only 16!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?

I haven't got any advice as to what you should do that other PPs haven't already given.
The sex acts in themselves are stuff that probably millions of randy teens have engaged in, and probably still are.
And you had no way of knowing that the boy, (who seems to have grown into a wonderful prince of a man, and yes I'm being sarcastic), was 13, until he told you........do you know for sure that that is true?
Whatever you decide to do, please don't be ashamed and beat yourself up about what happened.

Apologies I can't reply to all but there's been some great advice above!

I can't believe these responses! OP sexually assaulted a child. It was all the 13 year olds fault? ffs. I hope that she goes to the police and they throw the book at her.

I think.you are missing the point yes she had sexual.contact with a minor I doubt the police would be interested regardless of the sex,s being reversed as they both consented and she was 16 not 26, ,she had been told he was 16and had no reason to believe he wasn't ,,he then went on to blackmail both then and now ,and he is an adult now not 13 anymore.

Odfod

She was 16, even at the time it's unlikely the police would have done anything because it was two minors with a 3 year age gap

The 13 year old (who may have been lying) then coerced her into further sex acts she didn't want to partake in, at 13 he knew exactly what he was doing, and took video of it which she didn't appear to consent to

He's now threatening to share sexual images of her at 16, he's definitely in the wrong

He's not a child now and she wasn't an adult then the police are not interested in prosecuting two.consenting teenagers ( although the second time she was coereced) the law is to protect vulnerable teens from adults.
The.police will.however be interested in an adult blackmailing another adult.

Even if this took place today, I don't think the police would prosecute a 16yo performing a sex act on a 13yo

Why are you ignoring the blackmail?

well first was this person really 13 as they seemed awfully clued up and sexually mature for someone that age to coerce someone into a sexual act and have the nouse to record it.

but secondly, just because someone is 16, it doesn’t mean they are mature and experienced themselves and so it is highly unlikely the police would look at this and this there was a case to answer. There is not much difference between 13 and 16 maturity wise. 13 and 26 is completely different.

but maybe they would but ultimately sunlight is the best disinfectant in this situation. I would go to the police and get it all in the open as hard as it is. In my view if the incident was as described the OP is very much the victim but again, for police to investigate.

She was COERCED into giving him a blow job. She's been quite clear that she didn't want to or enjoy it and she didn't seem to consent to being filmed

You are the one victim blaming here

Well if it's making you feel sick, then stop reading it. The OP has come here for help. I can't believe you are this naive, you just want to make the OP feel worse than she already does.

Because it doesn't support the faux outrage.
The OP didn't use such disgusting language when saying what happened, but this poster thinks it's OK.

OP, I hope you're picking up on the helpful posts and don't get bogged down reading the drivel.