The utter despair of losing something

[kindnessforthewin]

I realised I had misplaced brand new expensive sunglasses today, around mid morning, I just thought I hadn’t seen them in a while, so checked the last place I remember having them (the car).

DH almost 100% I brought them un as we know not to leave anything in the car.

When we arrived at a soft play (of all places) I took them off and left in central reservation of car as I didn’t want to take them in. That was 10 days ago, I just knew they weren’t in the house as I’d have seen them. I have a couple pairs and just got stuck on the other pair recently, as you do.

I don’t understand it at all. It’s ruined the entire day. Taken over. I can’t stop wondering where they have gone.

anyone else get obsessive like this?

I can't understand why Tile, (other tracking devices available) can't just produce a tiny, stick on tracker for the inside of arms of glasses and sunglasses.
OP you can maybe claim on your house insurance? My optician told me to do just that with my last pair of unreasonably expensive prescription sunglasses.

I lost a ring when out. I was so incredibly sad, couldn't blame anyone else. Got it replaced on our insurance.

Off the subject I know, and I hope they turn up, but why on Earth do you ever leave the car unlocked? I never ever do, it only takes a couple of seconds to lock it (and I live in a relatively safe, quiet place).

This gives me so much hope!

@clarydid you ever suspect a housemate? That’s the part that drives me mad. It’s so unfathomable they could just disappear I question everyone and everything. The only external factors could be someone saw the car unlocked (unlikely but not impossible) and helped themselves (in London very likely). The only person who has been in the house was the new cleaner but again, that would be so brazen!!!

Of taking the earbud? No way. He claims it was in his room but we turned it upside down (moved the bed and flipped the mattress) and it was not there. I reckon he dropped in on the stairs.

Or of taking the engagement ring? Nope broken window and other stuff stolen (camera, camcorder) but the ring was impossible to replace and my own fault for not wearing it.

I would also be surprised if someone took something from your car. But then I have been told I am ridiculously risk averse for leaving my purse and phone out in the changing room while I shower after swimming! Opportunistic theft of this kind is pretty rare.

I lost a beautiful Hermes watch. Started an insurance claim and then it turned up in the pocket of an old dressing gown. I had two dressing gowns and didn’t wear this one much. I must have put it on whilst the other was in the wash and, for some reason, taken my watch off and put it in the pocket (and then completely forgotten about it). Was so pleased when it turned up!

2 things I’m still missing:

beautiful dressing gown I got for my honeymoon- reminded me of that JLo dress - left on the bathroom door in San Diego and sold out so couldn’t replace

a beautiful ring of my mums - her then boyfriend purchased it when we were all on holiday in Scotland in around 1977 - silver with blue resin. She gifted it to me and at some point around 2009 it vanished - I still spend hours online trying to find something like it.

Yes, I get this. My things are bad enough but I’m so anal about keeping on top of where things are it tends to be DH’s stuff or the kid’s. DH is the opposite, just puts stuff anywhere and then loses it. Famously bought a nice watch roll for his expensive watches and managed to lose that and all the watches in one go. I have turned the garage and house upside down looking and it still bothers me, more so because it doesn’t bother him enough for my liking. I HATE IT

I get annoyed when things go awol, but extra annoyance from the general shoulder-shrugging from the rest of the family! Mostly because they will ALWAYS expect me to know where their jumper/football boots/air pods are…and I usually do. But when I can’t find my sunnies, there is 0 help or bother forthcoming. Feels like my brain carries an encyclopaedic knowledge of everyone’s belongings and GPS position, and runs out of capacity for my own stuff.

Having said that, my sunnies were in the suitcase where I knew I’d put them, but further down the pocket. My missing cycling glove (over a year) had got right to the bottom of the sports drawer and folded itself into a rarely-warn fleece.

Regularly instruct the kids on Looking Skills and need to follow my own advice!

Yes absolutely. I've lost my Kindle and really want to read a new book! I

I lose my sunglasses in the car all the time. They always turn up in a place I've already searched at least twice. Usually tucked away under a seat, or down the side between the seat/door jam or seat/centre console or back passenger footwell. But that's because I usually chuck them on the passenger seat because they're about 10 years old with one arm clinging on for dear life after DH sat on them (on said passenger seat...) rather than a Chanel pair that I might look after.

This thread has inspired me to finally replace them 😆

Losing something is awful, the worst. And my obsessive personality type really doesn’t help 😩

Mine turned up when the car got valeted so I obviously didn't search the car well enough

Things have mostly turned up in the place I thought they originally were but hidden down the side or stored in a different box or something. Sometimes my dd take a canvas bag out if we are going to the shops and I throw things in there and then once we get home it disappears into her room.

The 'easiest' way of not finding something is to tell yourself that 'it could be anywhere' or could be stolen. I find as soon as my brain clings onto the possibility that it might never be found then it switches off actually looking 🙄

The best advice I have read in relation to lost items is to go back and look again in the first place you looked, but forensically.

It doesn't always work but it has a higher success rate than any other method I have tried.

I lost diamond stud earrings my son bought me. They turned up in the washing machine filter five years later!

Things that have turned up:

Laptop - checked whole house, suitcases, called hotel (we had taken it away for weekend), cupboards etc. Found it a year later under the base cushion of a bedroom armchair, think I must have confiscated and 'hidden' it from child

Mobile phone - lying down flat on the fins in the gap between the two panels of a radiator

Never found:

A miniature china tea set (three tiny cups and saucers) left to me by my granny. It was on display on mantelpiece, then I think I put it away somewhere. (10 years ago)

Victorian silver bangle, also inherited. Lost at university halls of residence, I expect stolen from my room. Serves me right, I simply did not take enough care of it (didn't even notice it was missing for days).

We could find H’s work prescription glasses, he has two pairs but these were the more expensive and his favourites and the ones he kept at home.

They were last seen on kitchen side by radio where all glass are put if found. He usually keeps these ones in his office.

He searched, I searched we felt like we were going made so I said we need to accept for now they had gone.

Found a couple of weeks later, they had been picked up with a pile of books/papers, put on table in studio, got knocked off the side and where on the floor behind a bag, no one heard them fall (soft case).

So check back, side, under any furniture between door and around where you put them down.

All coat pockets, bags, check ring doorbell if you have did you come in wearing them after soft play.

So you came out of soft play, did you go anywhere after? Pick up any milk etc? Use a shopping bag for anything? Go to the boot?

Have you checked down sides of seats in car, go down on hands and knees with a torch!?

What about round front door outside? Anywhere they could have dropped getting keys out?

Not sure if you can tell we have been driven nuts looking for things before.

They are there, somewhere, they are in a small usual area, well unless you did something odd. Did you come back, kids wanted something, have you checked there? In kid’s wardrobes under their beds.

Bottom of umbrella stand? Or similar, in the recycle bin?

I absolutely hate losing things. I really obsess over it and can’t stop ruminating on where they might be for ages afterwards. So frustrating especially when the item is expensive or meaningful.

I think it's a control thing. I pride myself on being clean, tidy and organised so if I lose something, I feel out of control until I've found it, and balance has been restored.

Oh and pray to St Anthony. I’m not religious at all but once gave it a shot after searching for hours and hours for an important piece of work. Flopped on the couch, closed my eyes and gave him an ask…. Opened my eyes and there it was, in my eyeline wedged under the back leg of the couch.

DH lost his wedding ring about 2yrs ago in work. He works outside, checked everywhere including inside of all the machines he uses. It turned up this week down the side of one of the screeners - these machines get moved around a massive yard regularly and the mounds of soil are at the height of houses. It was literally a needle in a haystack. Now I'm hoping my earring turns up!

My dh has a small zip medical bag (about 12cm by 10cm) which has his diabetic tests in. It's kept in work bag, or kitchen when home. He couldn't find ut, WE couldn't find it. Searched the house, car, bag etc.
About 3 days later I was in kitchen and it was on the shelf, eye level, short shelf, could NOT be missed.
I asked dh where he found it. He said he hadn't found them, I showed him them on the shelf and we both KNOW that we 100% checked there !!

We lost a remote control once for the Tv. Searched everywhere, took the sofa cushions off, turned the sofa on its side, nowhere to be found.

10 days later I found it down the side of the sofa. How?! Just me and Dh at home, we had stripped that sofa bare.