Page 16 | Full time job with young kids

Calica1 · 2025-04-26T18:18:50+00:00

Current situation is I have a 13 month old little boy who I get to spend a lot of time with as I'm lucky to only have to work 2 nights a week in a supermarket for us to get by. My partner is really keen for me to go back to full time work in order for us to have more money and improve our lives (bigger house and nice holidays) Our son is going to nursery 2 part days a week just to get some socialisation but honestly I think he hates it and I'm keen to pull him out which is the opposite of what getting a full time job would entail as he would have to go in full time. In order to go back to work I'd have to retrain for something else as I can't go back to retail management as the hours don't work with 2 parents in retail management and personally I just think my little boy is just too little to be made to go be with strangers all day and barely see his parents. I appreciate the fact my partner wants to improve our lives and also that he doesn't like our current arrangement of never seeing each other as I work the 2 nights he doesn't but I feel like our son is the priority. I'll also add I'm keen to have a second baby soon which then means putting 2 young kids in nursery just to earn more money. So am I being unreasonable to say I just want to focus on my kids until they are a lot older and it's okay if we are getting by on my part time wage?

Bumblebeestiltskin · 28/04/2025 11:24

Calica1 · 28/04/2025 11:18

No I dont have friends. Just me, my partner and my little boy.

I did try going to baby and mum groups but I hated them. So I generally just sat there feeling awkward so stopped going as there was no benefit.

I wouldn't want to get social services involved or waste their time. Think they struggle enough to have time and resources to help families that actually need it. But I'll have a look at some information online and see if there is any support online to give us a bit of guidance. We have plenty of time to get it all sorted so we have time to research a bit.

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Oh I'm sorry, that's really sad.

Yes, I don't mean that in a 'report yourself to social services' way - they're there to support families in a whole load of different ways, so by contacting them you won't be wasting their time. I think if you look on your local council's website, there should be information on family support, other organisations as well, not just SS.

Original poster

Calica1 · 28/04/2025 11:26

Bumblebeestiltskin · 28/04/2025 11:24

Oh I'm sorry, that's really sad.

Yes, I don't mean that in a 'report yourself to social services' way - they're there to support families in a whole load of different ways, so by contacting them you won't be wasting their time. I think if you look on your local council's website, there should be information on family support, other organisations as well, not just SS.

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Don't be sorry. Doesn't bother me at all not having friends. Think I stopped talking to people as soon as I left college. Not a big fan of people or socialising.

I will have a look into what's available.

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GivenUpOnSleep · 28/04/2025 16:08

@Calica1the more you write on this thread the more worrying it becomes.

I think not having people in your life has enabled you to convince yourself this is a normal or sustainable situation and it really isn’t. That’s why so many posters have been shocked and told you so.

You have to change the situation or it WILL all fall apart and get even worse. Running up all of these debts for which you can’t explain the purpose, believing you can work part time while in such circumstances, doing interviews with animals hear wailing or barking, losing driving licences, having a baby in a house full of so many animals, living with your ex and your partner, having no ceilings in the house… it is all a complete mess and you need to stop burying your head in the sand and do something about it, and forget the idea of another child until all of the above is fixed and you’re financially stable. If this means working for not much financial benefit in the short term as part of a longer term plan to earn more and provide a decent life for your child then this is what you need to do.

You need some support with sorting all of this out, clearly, and to recognise that this is all crazy and not an appropriate way to raise a child. I hope you’ll stop burying your head in the sand and seek support from social services, the job centre, charities offering career/ CV/ interview help. Join meetup groups or parkrun or something and try to make some social connections. You need to take control of your life and sort this out step by step. You’re responsible for a child now.

Original poster

Calica1 · 28/04/2025 16:22

GivenUpOnSleep · 28/04/2025 16:08

@Calica1the more you write on this thread the more worrying it becomes.

I think not having people in your life has enabled you to convince yourself this is a normal or sustainable situation and it really isn’t. That’s why so many posters have been shocked and told you so.

You have to change the situation or it WILL all fall apart and get even worse. Running up all of these debts for which you can’t explain the purpose, believing you can work part time while in such circumstances, doing interviews with animals hear wailing or barking, losing driving licences, having a baby in a house full of so many animals, living with your ex and your partner, having no ceilings in the house… it is all a complete mess and you need to stop burying your head in the sand and do something about it, and forget the idea of another child until all of the above is fixed and you’re financially stable. If this means working for not much financial benefit in the short term as part of a longer term plan to earn more and provide a decent life for your child then this is what you need to do.

You need some support with sorting all of this out, clearly, and to recognise that this is all crazy and not an appropriate way to raise a child. I hope you’ll stop burying your head in the sand and seek support from social services, the job centre, charities offering career/ CV/ interview help. Join meetup groups or parkrun or something and try to make some social connections. You need to take control of your life and sort this out step by step. You’re responsible for a child now.

Edited

Thank you for the response.

I'll start this by saying I have no interest in social interaction or park runs. People make me anxious and socialising is at the very bottom of things I am interested in.

I will also state we didn't exactly plan or decide to lose licences. Seizures during labour were out of my control and my partner was unaware of his condition.

Getting a job isn't my problem. My CV is up to date and perfectly fine (besides the fact I don't have office experience as I wipe it all off my CV as changing jobs every 3-6 months for the first 5-6 years of my working life wouldn't look good) I'm sure i could get a basic office job if that's what we decided was best for us if we were willing to lose all the additional income to childcare.

But thank you for your reply. We will be exploring our options as a team and seeing what is best.

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