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Original poster

Blended families - not all they are made out to be?

155 replies

InNeedOfSleep10 · 26/04/2025 12:36

Inspired by scrolling one too many ‘perfect blended family’ posts on social media, am I being unfair to suggest that the reality of blended families must be a lot different to what people suggest? Surely it’s hard work and not the dream set up many make it out to be…

OP posts:
Celeryindip81 · 13/06/2025 15:03

JandamiHash · 26/04/2025 13:17

I think I’d have to love someone very very very much to bring them into my DC’s life, and especially to move them in. Most people in blended families don’t seem all that bothered about each other. I reckon some people are just shit at being lonely

Yes yes yes! Nailed it

Marian1 · 01/11/2025 20:13

JandamiHash · 26/04/2025 12:51

<dons tin hat>

Not only do I agree with you re SC (and I’ve seen my niece be destroyed and grow into a v troubled adult because her mum put her new boyfriend and his baby ahead of her) but I think this can also be the case in the situation of DV. I know it’s hard to women to stay and sadly I’ve witnessed DV first hand, but the children ALWAYS get forgotten about in the conversations, and nobody dares ever criticise a woman for staying in a home where her children hear her get abused.

Show quote history

I hope I'm misunderstanding but are you suggesting women should stay in a relationship where they are being abused?

Daisy12Maisie · 01/11/2025 20:20

My best friend from school grew up in a blended family and she is still very close to her mum and step dad. Step dad is grandad to her little boy now. Her actual dad was rubbish when we were growing up and he is a rubbish/ disinterested grandad now.
My friend is very close to her half sister and step sister. So in their case I think plan A didn’t work out as the dad turned out to be a rubbish dad then left the mum for someone else. Their plan B worked out well.

CleverButScatty · 01/11/2025 21:40

Snorlaxo · 27/04/2025 18:56

They rarely work because the adults are motivated to start them for their own personal reasons (money, childcare, sex, companionship) rather than what’s best for everyone. Even in the ones where the adults are happy, one of some of the kids won’t be but pretend they are because they don’t want to be blamed for their parent being single and unhappy. Too many believe the mantra of “I deserve happiness” without really looking at how the new partner fits in with you and your child.
I’ve seen too many stories here where a man or woman has remarried despite the new spouse never getting along with their child. If that’s not a red flag then what is ?

I’m not saying that being unhappily married is the answer either. That causes damage to the children in a different way and probably affects their future relationships too.

Isn't that how all relationships start?

NewDogOwner · 01/11/2025 21:55

No child wants to live with with random other children and the biggest threat to any child is a non-related man living in their house. This is an unpopular thought because people deserve happiness after a relationship ends and want to believe that their children are all happy and children keep a lot to themselves.It also makes financial sense for two people who each have children to pool their resources. It's a necessity for some people.

It's not easy for people and some families work out well. It would be interesting to hear from the children if they felt they could speak freely.

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