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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Date last night - he’s only just left!!

230 replies

Tiredsaturday · 26/04/2025 09:26

I don’t know why I’m writing this really except that I’m wired and don’t know what else to do having texted a couple of my friends!

Had a date last night. Lovely man who I’d been chatting to for a few weeks by text and phone. Had a coffee with him earlier in the week. This was ‘out out’.

He’s only just left!!! Hehe! What a night! I am happy, excited, very tired indeed (!) and ever so slightly not really but a bit comically ashamed.

Dunno what the AIBU is apart from maybe ‘AIBU to suggest to the kids later that we all go to bed at 6?’

OP posts:
JustMeAndTheFish · 28/04/2025 19:45

Good for you OP! Wishing Hairy Mary a speedy recovery 😁

Flozle · 28/04/2025 21:09

Oh, that’s pretty much my first night with my husband ❤️ Best first date in the history of first dates. Enjoy your lovely feelings.

Damnloginpopup · 28/04/2025 21:24

Tiredsaturday · 26/04/2025 11:00

There was no doorstep snog! And there was no breakfast at all, let alone in his shirt. It wasn’t an awkward departure. I just think we both knew that Corn Flakes needn’t be served!

Someone asked about the best bits. Well I’m sure you can imagine.

Don't wanna imagine! Spill the beans!

(Like he did 😆)

August1980 · 28/04/2025 21:45

KnitFastDieWarm · 26/04/2025 21:13

@Tiredsaturday I had one of these dates a few years ago - I’d had the odd bit of fun here and there since my divorce but I clicked with this one from the first second of date one. Date two involved him visiting my house and, erm, very much proving his worth as a gentleman friend (at one point we were so giddy and giggly and pheromone-drunk that we high fived each other over how great we were in bed together 😂). I wasn’t looking for anything serious but he set a very high bar. That was three years ago.

Off on holiday with him tomorrow, he’s just done the hoovering, cooked dinner with the DC and DSC, and has just now appeared and asked me if i want a cup of tea. So it turned out he was a gem of a human being in addition to his other talents 😜

I wish you the same with your gent, it can happen!

Edited

Made me smile.

FancyHelper · 28/04/2025 23:51

Good for you! Hope you enjoyed every second of it !! Here’s to round 2 !!

ItGhoul · 29/04/2025 11:39

NeedToChangeName · 28/04/2025 19:19

It's risky to bring a stranger home overnight

Naive to pretend otherwise

Considerably less risky than getting into your own car and going for a drive.

Definitelynotme2022 · 29/04/2025 11:49

Good for you!! I absolutely love your attitude....mainly because it's very similar to mine!

Have you heard from him?

I have a lovely bf, we've only been together a few months but as men go, he's perfect for me. We met OLD and the chemistry was instant. I didn't sleep with him on our first date, as we didn't have the opportunity, but I absolutely would have. In the end we waited just 3 days.

CleverButScatty · 29/04/2025 11:55

Pyjamatimenow · 27/04/2025 00:20

I think you should probably be prepared that there likely won’t be any further dates. Not of the romantic kind anyway. Sounds like just sex. You’ve built up a false sense of intimacy by all the talking and texting before the date.

Why would that be?

CleverButScatty · 29/04/2025 11:56

femfemlicious · 27/04/2025 04:40

We're yourkids in the house with this man you have only just met?

She has already said no about 4 times.

CleverButScatty · 29/04/2025 12:01

Pyjamatimenow · 27/04/2025 10:29

No they’re using it to encourage women to bring strangers into their homes where their kids live and have sex with them. How admirable.

Show quote history

I am really not seeing the issue of her having sex in a house where kids live when they are not there!

Salad666 · 29/04/2025 12:10

I'm slightly disappointed that OP hasn't replied "That's right. I'm not just a slag, I'm a total slag" like Kat Slater to the nuns.

Original poster
Tiredsaturday · 29/04/2025 13:10

Salad666 · 29/04/2025 12:10

I'm slightly disappointed that OP hasn't replied "That's right. I'm not just a slag, I'm a total slag" like Kat Slater to the nuns.

That is funny, to be fair. But I’m not a slag, and neither is any other woman who just likes sex because it feels nice.

No second date planned as yet because kids need looking after and Bank Holidays need bank holidaying. But there’s been some textual intercourse if nothing else.

Obviously we are both researching places to meet that do not, have never and will never contain children, and I have instructed him to bring an STI test with the ink still wet together with his doctor and a Priest to our next meeting.

OP posts:
ruethewhirl · 29/04/2025 13:15

Wonderberry · 27/04/2025 20:29

I'm surprised at the amount of slut shaming on this thread, I would have hoped by 2025 that we have moved on.

OP how are you doing?

It’s a bit of an eye opener, isn’t it - in a depressing way. 😒

Lacoutine · 29/04/2025 14:32

Tiredsaturday · 27/04/2025 21:11

Round of applause for that capitalisation. For some reason I imagined you screaming it in the street, and it made me laugh out loud.

Thank you for the tip. If I have further troubles I shall investigate. But Hairy Mary has calmed down again now, thankfully.

I can well imagine she was like ‘What the fuck?!’ on Friday night. ‘Alright, can we stop now? Oh hang on, no, carry on…’

She and I have been in a fairly needy but pleasant co-dependent relationship for about 25 years now so I’ll forgive her.

Edited
Show quote history

Reminds me of Hayley Morris 😆
www.instagram.com/reel/CSOzPJbI92f/

emmatherhino · 29/04/2025 14:33

Tiredsaturday · 29/04/2025 13:10

That is funny, to be fair. But I’m not a slag, and neither is any other woman who just likes sex because it feels nice.

No second date planned as yet because kids need looking after and Bank Holidays need bank holidaying. But there’s been some textual intercourse if nothing else.

Obviously we are both researching places to meet that do not, have never and will never contain children, and I have instructed him to bring an STI test with the ink still wet together with his doctor and a Priest to our next meeting.

Show quote history

Your replies are brilliant.

I'm glad you had an amazing time!

Original poster
Tiredsaturday · 29/04/2025 15:42

Lacoutine · 29/04/2025 14:32

Reminds me of Hayley Morris 😆
www.instagram.com/reel/CSOzPJbI92f/

Show quote history

Ha - that’s very good, I hadn’t seen that before.

She’d been groomed no more rigorously than a trip to the swimming pool on Friday. I didn’t care and apparently neither did he! I wish people didn’t have to worry.

OP posts:
Salad666 · 29/04/2025 22:38

Tiredsaturday · 29/04/2025 13:10

That is funny, to be fair. But I’m not a slag, and neither is any other woman who just likes sex because it feels nice.

No second date planned as yet because kids need looking after and Bank Holidays need bank holidaying. But there’s been some textual intercourse if nothing else.

Obviously we are both researching places to meet that do not, have never and will never contain children, and I have instructed him to bring an STI test with the ink still wet together with his doctor and a Priest to our next meeting.

Show quote history

It wasn't my intention to imply you were. It was more in the response to the shaming replies on here. That's all I meant.

breadpie · 29/04/2025 22:52

PassingStranger · 28/04/2025 17:15

You can talk
Your original post was so awful in the first place

Show quote history

No it wasn't.
No need to respond again.... you clearly don't have anything worthwhile to say.

Original poster
Tiredsaturday · 29/04/2025 23:55

Salad666 · 29/04/2025 22:38

It wasn't my intention to imply you were. It was more in the response to the shaming replies on here. That's all I meant.

Show quote history

I know, sorry. I didn’t mean for you to think I’d thought you did! Kat Slater’s wrong, not you x

OP posts:
Chewygummy · 05/05/2025 10:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 05/05/2025 10:54

How exciting. I met a chap old and we ended up in bed on the 2nd date I had to leave not long after though at 1130pm as my mum was child sitting lol. He's taking me skiing on Saturday. I'm just viewing it as a fwb situation someone's paying and taking me out doing fun things and I'm having fun enjoying sex as I like sex. I've not long ended a controlling relationship so I'm getting under to get over but with a really fun man he earns same as me has his own home like I do own car intelligent no kids. Best thing to do is no expectations just fun and if it stops it stops

Original poster
Tiredsaturday · 05/05/2025 11:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Plans are afoot!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredsaturday · 10/05/2025 19:38

He came over last night. He’s gone home to feed the cat. Back in an hour… 😃

OP posts:
Vibgyor · 10/05/2025 19:59

Brilliant OP, have fun

Sammysquiz · 10/05/2025 20:21

Sounds great, enjoy! Surprised at the number of people shocked by a consenting adult having sex with another consenting adult in one of their homes, with no children present.

And he has a cat! That’s a good sign too 😁