Date last night - he’s only just left!!

[Tiredsaturday]

I don’t know why I’m writing this really except that I’m wired and don’t know what else to do having texted a couple of my friends!

Had a date last night. Lovely man who I’d been chatting to for a few weeks by text and phone. Had a coffee with him earlier in the week. This was ‘out out’.

He’s only just left!!! Hehe! What a night! I am happy, excited, very tired indeed (!) and ever so slightly not really but a bit comically ashamed.

Dunno what the AIBU is apart from maybe ‘AIBU to suggest to the kids later that we all go to bed at 6?’

“Sounds like just sex”… sounds pretty perfect to me. We can shag just for sex & our own amusement 😀

The nicest thing about your posts, OP, other than the nice sense of being a bit shagged out, is how utterly sane and together you sound.

Lucky you OP, I used to absolutely love casual sex, the wilder the better. It's exactly how things went with DH too - first real date night.

This is clearly very personal for you, but other women’s experiences are just as valid as yours and it isn’t irresponsible to discuss risk in a proportionate manner.

I go running. I regularly do that alone after dark, and in quiet locations. Some women won’t do that - and on Mumsnet have got genuinely angry with me because I do. However, I intend to keep doing it because while there is a small risk, I am ultimately still highly unlikely to be attacked. People can certainly point out times when women have been attacked, but that doesn’t mean people can’t also point out these incidents are extremely few and far between and that most violence and sexual assault against women takes place in very different circumstances (in my case, violence from a long term partner and sexual assault in broad daylight at a busy railway station).

I do not care if some women refuse to run alone or after dark. That is their choice. But I do care if they lecture me about it citing vastly inflated risks. I have made an informed choice based on the level of risk that I am prepared to take, because I am an adult woman capable of making the decisions that are right for me.

Exactly the same applies to the OP’s (or anyone else’s) decision to invite her date to stay over. You might not want to do that, and that is fine. Nobody is trying to encourage you, or anyone else, to do it. They are simply pointing out that women are capable of making equally valid choices, and that judging them for it and implying negative things about their character and parental skills is unfair.

In any case, your concerns aren’t just about safety. You also felt the need to point out that this could be ‘just sex’, as if that couldn’t be acceptable. Again, projection. If ‘just sex’ isn’t for you, fine! Nobody’s judging you for that. But it’s odd to assume that it isn’t something others could ever be happy with.

‘Bit of a shagger’ now there’s a phase I’ve not heard for long time 😁

The adrenaline will keep you going for the day 😅
Although I'm boring these days, I value my sleep too much.. or perhaps they don't please me enough for it to be worth it ha

Well said. There's a huge sense of arrogance and wanting to belittle in that poster's comments.

I must admit, I'm jealous. I'm in my 20's and not experienced anything of the sort!!

Good job she wasn't asking for your approval then, wasn't it?

Kids weren’t there.

Define stranger.

I suspect we have found someone who needs a good shag!

@ItGhoul you are rare in taking a proportionate approach to risk. Most people don't.

Surely she knew the risks of lust?
I assume she did

We all risk take in our lives to extent, sub consciously, most of us, have/ do drive, have flown, all in the hope the small chance of accident happen.
You could slip on a wet floor, either your error or someone else’s.

Please, please say that either you or him had a condom to hand and used it.

If not, you know what to do :)

Why do people ask questions addressed in a thread?

OP has mentioned using condoms.

I must have missed that.
I know she said she knew about safe sex- but that didn't say she practised it.

She specifically said that one of the reasons he left when he did was in part so she could shower, wake up etc before her children came home, but also because they had run out of condoms.

You're right :)

I knew this point would be brought up. I'm reserving judgement, but you this poster has a point. The thread would have gone very different if the scenario hadn't ended up being so positive for the OP ( great - glad it did) , OP would have been blasted for bringing back a stranger to a home when she has children.

YAWN

And what if she didn’t? (She did)

Surely it’s up to her?

They weren’t there. She said that.

And that’s up to them. Like I said, grown women can make their own choices that are right for them, and shouldn’t be shamed, patronised or berated for them.

Haha, love it!