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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Date last night - he’s only just left!!

230 replies

Tiredsaturday · 26/04/2025 09:26

I don’t know why I’m writing this really except that I’m wired and don’t know what else to do having texted a couple of my friends!

Had a date last night. Lovely man who I’d been chatting to for a few weeks by text and phone. Had a coffee with him earlier in the week. This was ‘out out’.

He’s only just left!!! Hehe! What a night! I am happy, excited, very tired indeed (!) and ever so slightly not really but a bit comically ashamed.

Dunno what the AIBU is apart from maybe ‘AIBU to suggest to the kids later that we all go to bed at 6?’

OP posts:
Bamboozledbylife · 26/04/2025 21:31

VivIsBlonde · 26/04/2025 20:06

So you basically invited a stranger back to your house for the night!!
Not a great move!

😂😂😂😂

ItGhoul · 26/04/2025 21:43

VivIsBlonde · 26/04/2025 20:06

So you basically invited a stranger back to your house for the night!!
Not a great move!

Oh, go and clutch your pearls somewhere else. It was a bloody excellent move, by the sound of it.

Riaanna · 26/04/2025 21:47

VivIsBlonde · 26/04/2025 20:06

So you basically invited a stranger back to your house for the night!!
Not a great move!

God there’s always one.

ItGhoul · 26/04/2025 21:52

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 21:05

Look at some statistics around Sexual Crimes against women, and then say it’s “boring”.

I’m delighted that the OP had a consensual fuck with some guy that she’s met twice, clearly means a lot to her … however, inviting a stranger to your house, and getting naked with them, can end very badly - and good luck getting it prosecuted, if something bad did happen.

Sorry not to join in with the giggles but 1 in 30 women in the UK are raped or sexually assaulted, and whilst this one ended ok, we really can never let our guard down.

Show quote history

Don’t patronise grown women. Not everyone feels the need to live their lives in grossly disproportionate fear. We’re more than capable of weighing up risks and deciding whether they’re worth taking. If we all followed half the safety advice dished out by the terminally joyless on Mumsnet, we’d never leave our own homes alone. Women are not children in need of your lectures; we can assess risk for ourselves and act proportionately to it.

ItGhoul · 26/04/2025 21:54

EdithBond · 26/04/2025 21:12

Glad you enjoyed yourself.

Don’t want to deflate your bubble. But do be wary of having a man you don’t know much about (other than what he’s told you) into your kids’ home. Best to wait until you’ve got to know him a bit better. An hotel room can be a better option.

Don’t want to deflate your bubble

Don’t, then.

emziecy · 26/04/2025 21:54

💪🏻👍🏻👊🏻🤚🏻👏🏻🖐🏻👀👅🙋🏻‍♀️🧏🏻‍♀️🍆😁😏

greeenscreeen · 26/04/2025 22:00

Tiredsaturday · 26/04/2025 09:43

No buzzing required for a little while now! 😳
Ha!

Show quote history

Hahahahaha. Wonderful response, OP!!

greeenscreeen · 26/04/2025 22:04

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 21:05

Look at some statistics around Sexual Crimes against women, and then say it’s “boring”.

I’m delighted that the OP had a consensual fuck with some guy that she’s met twice, clearly means a lot to her … however, inviting a stranger to your house, and getting naked with them, can end very badly - and good luck getting it prosecuted, if something bad did happen.

Sorry not to join in with the giggles but 1 in 30 women in the UK are raped or sexually assaulted, and whilst this one ended ok, we really can never let our guard down.

Show quote history

You do realise that every new person is a "stranger" at first? They stop being strangers when your relationship develops with them. In what way would you suvgest @Tiredsaturday turns this man from a stranger to a friend(/fuck buddy/boyfriend) if she's not supposed be alone with him?

Original poster
Tiredsaturday · 26/04/2025 22:13

Wow. I’ve just logged on and found so many messages - thank you!

Kids are now in bed and I am about to go to my own, having had my 6pm plan rudely rejected.

Thanks for the safety advice - well meant, I’m sure, but I’m a big girl.

I also know about safe sex, and - ha! - to reassure whoever mentioned it I have absolutely no inclination whatsoever to introduce him to my children!

To anyone mortally offended by me getting naked with a man in my children’s home despite a) them not being there b) it also being my home and c) me having been above the age of consent for two decades I can only apologise for my unladylike behaviour. And on the day of the Pope’s funeral as well!

Don’t faint but… there was even a blowjob 😮

He texted before to thank me for a fun night. Hopefully I will see him again soon.

I am ashamed to say that I have been a little, er, sore today 😳. But hopefully after lots of sleep all will be well in the morning. Bedtime…

OP posts:
BangersAndGnash · 26/04/2025 22:21

And on the day of the Pope’s funeral as well!

OP, you are priceless.

Chick981 · 26/04/2025 22:24

Love this! Ignore the doom mongers OP and do keep us updated about the next date.

Anycheeeeese · 26/04/2025 22:25

Men shouldn't receive BJs until they've proven themselves worthy after at least 10 years of dating.

Cunnilingus should be available at all times, however, and at a ratio of at least 100:1 BJs.

mnahmnah · 26/04/2025 22:29

VivIsBlonde · 26/04/2025 20:06

So you basically invited a stranger back to your house for the night!!
Not a great move!

I once had a 24 hour first date like this. Been married 14 years now.

NormasArse · 26/04/2025 22:34

Did he reciprocate the blow job?

DoloresDelEriba · 26/04/2025 22:36

Sounds like a lot of fun. Hope it works out. But even if it doesn’t…No shame. Onwards and upwards x 💪🏻♥️👏🏻

emziecy · 26/04/2025 22:44

OP you're awesome! 🤣

sissygirl23 · 26/04/2025 22:49

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 21:05

Look at some statistics around Sexual Crimes against women, and then say it’s “boring”.

I’m delighted that the OP had a consensual fuck with some guy that she’s met twice, clearly means a lot to her … however, inviting a stranger to your house, and getting naked with them, can end very badly - and good luck getting it prosecuted, if something bad did happen.

Sorry not to join in with the giggles but 1 in 30 women in the UK are raped or sexually assaulted, and whilst this one ended ok, we really can never let our guard down.

Show quote history

If you truly cared only about the safety of the op you wouldn’t be using your disapproving language and tone - ‘a consensual fuck with a man she’s met twice, clearly meant a lot to her.’

Youve given your judgey ness away with that I’m afraid. And yes most grown women are aware of the dangers and also intelligent enough to calculate risk.

MaybeItWasMe · 26/04/2025 22:51

Congratulations @Tiredsaturday - keep us posted please so that the old and married amongst us can live vicariously through your shagging shenanigans.

Nsky62 · 26/04/2025 22:56

TeaIsNice · 26/04/2025 20:14

ah lovely thread and is anyone else just a tad jealous too?'

A bit, a bit risky too, her choice

LBFseBrom · 26/04/2025 23:00

I'm glad it went well, op :-).

Let us know how things progress, please.

Summerlovin24 · 26/04/2025 23:01

Fabulous. Glad you are buzzing. I had a wild stage when my children initially left home. I have no regrets. Sometime I think OmG did I really do x and y....but I needed to let my hair properly after years of being a single parent.
Hope you have another night with him soon....and for the record 2nd time could be better as you may feel a bit more comfortable together.

Hastentoadd · 26/04/2025 23:09

Tiredsaturday · 26/04/2025 10:08

They are back at 11ish. I have just had a long shower but no time for any kip, sadly.

God I haven’t had a night like that in 20 years!

Show quote history

God I haven’t had a night like that in 20 years!

Good for you! hope it goes somewhere, it’s a great feeling when you really click with someone!

Nsky62 · 26/04/2025 23:13

KnitFastDieWarm · 26/04/2025 21:13

@Tiredsaturday I had one of these dates a few years ago - I’d had the odd bit of fun here and there since my divorce but I clicked with this one from the first second of date one. Date two involved him visiting my house and, erm, very much proving his worth as a gentleman friend (at one point we were so giddy and giggly and pheromone-drunk that we high fived each other over how great we were in bed together 😂). I wasn’t looking for anything serious but he set a very high bar. That was three years ago.

Off on holiday with him tomorrow, he’s just done the hoovering, cooked dinner with the DC and DSC, and has just now appeared and asked me if i want a cup of tea. So it turned out he was a gem of a human being in addition to his other talents 😜

I wish you the same with your gent, it can happen!

Edited

How lovely

Bubblesaremyonlyfruit · 26/04/2025 23:25

I had the same experience with my now DH. Together 27 years 😍

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 26/04/2025 23:30

Has the action finished now then, there's no more I need to see is there?

When I watch the fury fights, the bit after goes on for longer than this?

Sorry, wrong thread!! 😄

Op, loving your updates 🙌🥰

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