DH wants me to get a job

[Missedp]

My husband has been pressuring me to go back to work, however I am happy with our current arrangement: I am a SAHM for our 3 children, a caregiver to my family and a local volunteer.
DH earns as good wage and we have money left over each month. I do the school runs and the children have a wonderful routine; I can also help friends and family with any ad hoc support.
DH wants to “accelerate” our savings and wants me to contribute financially but once you factor in a cleaner, the additional stress to of working and arranging care, it hardly seems worth it. I’ll be making slightly above minimum wage.

I agree. Why do you need a cleaner? I work 90 hours a week and still clean my own house 😂

What do you think the chances are that he insisted on three kids and she said "Fine, but only if I never have to work again"?

Why would you need a cleaner?
I worked in a full time professional role as a single parent and didn’t have one.

Before you even think about going back to work you need to discuss him picking up the slack at home. Get that nailed right down.

Exactly

Maybe she wants one because it will be a significant adjustment. It's not unreasonable, especially if he does little at home.

#RawNerveHit

It sounds like your husband feels resentful that your life is now quite nice and relaxed. He was happy to let you do the heavy lifting when the children were young, and now that they have become easier he resents your spare time/easier life. He does not respect your contribution to the household and only views you as a drain. Lots of parents work and run the household- however the children are not all raised to the same standards. Not every working person works as hard as their colleagues. Some families have shift work, big commutes, higher childcare costs, lower wages. It really depends on the situation. If you are comfortable, have spare cash, go on decent holidays, have a house, car, nice life then I think he just resents your spare time. Did he run home everyday when the children were in the difficult stage and give you a break? If not I think he is coming from a bad place and in competition with you. Like other posters have said, work out the pay you will likely get, childcare costs, division of labour when you are working (an actual schedule) list absolutely all jobs down to singing reading books, each life admin task, topping up lunch money, making pack lunches, buying Christmas/birthday/family presents, children birthday party organisation, sports/hobbies, absolutely everything on this rota and then when all agreed look for a job. I suspect at this stage he will not be so keen, however as he does not respect your input to the family you should get the job and take advantage of the help at home. You will more than likely end up with more free time. Being a parent is a job - the most important job you will ever have and unlike other jobs you never clock off. This is also true for parents who work - they have two jobs. If you have a decent life and can afford to do one job then good luck to you

I mean, there is a quite large portion of the population of the UK, particularly outside England, that do feel quite strongly that not only the queen but the entirety of the royal family are freeloaders that could do with getting a proper job

Well wanting you to work is fair enough.

Not taking on his share of the childcare/school breaks/school run/housework is however not fair and I would make sure that you have a very strong agreement in place for what happens when you're no longer the default parent.

He can't have it both ways.

#TryHarderNoTradWifeShiteHere.com

YAWN... 😴 Competitive tripe. I work 173 hours a week. And still clean my own house. 🙄

#JEALOUSANDBITTER.COM

So what?

Is so funny these kind of answers.
Practice this:
"I am working full time and my husband is staying at home with kids. Now all nice and good but he hasn t work in 7 years and my kids are school age. My husband want the free time to volunteer and help friends!" What would the answers be? But because she is a woman, welll, he must have an ulterior motive. He is cheating or on the way out. How bonkers!

I am taking this as satire.

Yes! I like this
#SolventProfessionalCareer.Sorted.com

Christ on a bike, the women/women hate here is beyond. 🤦‍♀️

Nailed it

Agree, working mums are unnecessarily berated

I was loving working 1.5 hours a day in a school.There for school pick ups and drop offs.Ds was 10 when I took my now full time job TTO.It didn't take long for me to get used to it and now I feel like I'm properly contributing to the household money again.

I have a feeling the op won’t be back…

All that onerous life admin and wifework will have exhausted her

the mess from theee is a lot more than one - it’s a total dynamic shift. One is a lot less messy.

Why would you need a cleaner? How old are your kids?