To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

Here’s a thought OP. If someone is dealing with a difficult situation and you’re tempted to give advice that starts with ‘why don’t you just’, assume it will be unhelpful and just don’t.

Yep - my dad is 70, autistic and has very severe issues around food - although his aren't around texture but around health. He has very black/white views of food and won't touch anything he believes to be unhealthy - he's very underweight and it has only got worse over time.

DD (now an adult) refused almost all cooked vegetables as a child, especially spinach. Then she got a friend with Pakistani parents and came home telling us proudly how much she liked saag aloo.

YABU - for not being more sympathetic and unreasonable if you were born in the 1940’s or 1950’s I could understand your dated attitude mind you your sister is being unreasonable trying to dictate what you feed your child.

I have two children one will eat or try literally anything except cheese or anything with a creamy sauce the other will hardly eat anything apart from largely beige food. We suspect she is neuro diverse or possibly has the food disorder referred to above. No amount of persuading, suggesting or banning other foods works and eating out anywhere with her is an awkward embarrassing nightmare but absolutely nothing we can do about it as she is now in her 20’s.

Tell her to give him a picky plate

You come off as judgy rather than trying to understand.

My youngest child is autistic, they will quite literally not eat or drink ANYTHING if it's not on their "safe list" which unfortunately is very biege and for drinks it is only squash type orange juice. He will not drink water alone and would make himself very unwell if he didn't have access to that juice.

Our dietician celebrated a win that he recently asked to try Oreos. Not a healthy snack but a win as it was something new.

If you're sister is asking you to respect that, please do if you value your relationship. My DH and I are several years down this track and now find it easier to distance ourselves from judgemental know it alls (regardless of whether thats friends or family) who have no idea what it's like parenting a child like our youngest.

Everything is a condition now. Kids only eating beige foods included. We know the answers, but people won't hear it.

Are you suggesting you never gave your child beige food? Think about it.

Guaranteed you don’t.

you don't have to understand, just accept that your child and hers are different.

yup... also "if my child did that I'd......"

I was like you with my first child, OP. Christ I was smug, she ate everything, I honestly thought it was all my effort paying off.

Then I got a child that ate almost nothing. People told me to just not offer the two things he would eat, and obviously he would just eat real food.

Nope, he ended up admitted to hospital because he was literally starving himself into severe illness.

my son was exactly the same. Always ate the same food, never tried anything new, he's now 17 and has just started to eat "properly". I got fedupof cooking two seperate meals so i said eat what we eat or cook something yourself. Hes recently started to eat the stir fries and the meals i cook for his brother and myself. It does get better, eventually.

Dd as a toddler refused all food apart from chips. HV said don’t give her chips, she won’t starve. So chips were mainly off the menu. She barely ate. I offered loads of different stuff and followed the advice that if she was hungry she’d eat.

Then my mum came to visit who hadn’t seen her for a bit and was horrified by how much weight she’d lost. We took her to the gp who said she was underweight and referred her to the dietitian who said feed her chips which was all she ate for the next two years. Oh and cucumber.

she eats a varied healthy diet now and funnily enough barely eats chips.

so it’s too simple to say kids will always eat what’s offered eventually. Sometimes they don’t.

My stepson eats;

Lasagne
Toast
Fruit loaf
Cheese
Chocolate

That’s it. He did progress to eating tomato based pasta of any type. So he’d do spag bol, or tomato and mozzarella, meatballs etc. But he’s now gone back over and is back on lasagne only.

He also only eats certain ones. We’ve tried batch cooking it, that’s not it, we’ve tried family sized ones - nope. He currently eats specifically the lasagne from Tesco’s ready meal section.

Some of those foods were introduced to him when he was less restrictive, chocolate as a treat etc, and now they’re all he’ll eat.

If he asks for food and isn’t presented with one of those things, he’d genuinely give it back and just not eat.

It is in our house. It’s ✨ autism ✨.

My two are exactly the same, brought up the same, weaned the same. last night my eldest had chicken fajitas made with chicken peppers onions and mushrooms with sour cream guacamole and salsa. my youngest had plain chicken in a wrap 🙈

That's understandable, but really? There are children that don't like ANY real food? No chicken? No meat? No eggs? No vegetables at all, even potatoes? No fruits whatsoever? No yogurt? No cheese? No bread? No rice? Nothing?

Yes wonderful. The cure is here. I can throw out all the potato waffles.

For people alleging that weird eating behaviors are new…I recall my grandmother telling me about a colleague in the 1940s who would only eat carrots and was literally orange. I said, “Grandma, that’s an eating disorder.” She said, “No, we didn’t have those then.”

Eldest eats anything. Youngest is incredibly fussy (but she manages to eat a healthy and balanced diet somehow). Youngest has autism and sensory processing disorder. I congratulated myself when my eldest ate anything and thought it was down to my excellent parenting. 😂 Honestly, give your sister a break.

Haha. This is exactly what I did as a child! Even down to the fact that it was the HV who insisted, repeatedly, that all my mum had to do was withhold my favourite foods. She was wrong.

I did grow out of the fussiness at some stage, as I’ve been a very non-fussy eater for as long as I can remember. I also don’t have autism or anything related, so it really was just a case of me being stubborn.

Indeed, I was very stubborn - and I still am, actually.

Kids have been suffering from nutritional deficiencies and illnesses based on low food intake and/or restricted diets for decades. Paediatricians have been seeing children with these problems for the last 70 years. Probably longer. Some children even died from it in the past. There are still some incidences of children dying from it recently. You can read all about it in academic papers online if you're interested.

Those are the actual answers, but certain people "won't hear it."

I think my sister (born 65 middle sibling) may have had something like it as I remember a story my parents told of the time she'd only eat kidneys (sliced and fried ) and oranges for a long period of time. I think she was about 3. She was always really skinny and a fussy eater. My brother and myself ate anything.
I know my mother took her to the GP back then who said don't worry, she'll grow out of it and she's getting enough nutrition. I think she had other food fads but I don't know what they were. Wouldn't have involved any UPF or junk as we didn't ever have it.
I do know my mother didn't argue about it and just cooked her the kidneys and gave oranges during that time and rest of the family ate 'normally' and at some point she'd stop and eat what we ate I believe.

We also never ate in between meals and I do remember that no concessions were made for her (like a snack or something) if she didn't eat at meal times.
But I also don't recall a big thing made out of it either.

Exactly, never heard of Afrid till recently