To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

google aussie dentist trench if you have a strong stomach.

It’s exactly normal. 4.3 to be exact.

www.gov.uk/government/statistics/adult-oral-health-survey-2021/adult-oral-health-survey-2021-self-reported-health-of-teeth-and-gums

Yep 70s dentists were butchers. We had one actually in our school in Scotland and she’d fill anything, minor pinpricks. I never had a filling once we moved away.

@Ashlll to answer your original question I think at least for me the answer is a combination of (1) you are so desperate to find things they will agree to eat that you offer non ideal foods and (2) they are exposed to other foods at school, parties, friends houses etc.

the starving themselves is real and while I don't know if it would work eventually I don't have the willpower to stick it out. It's long, and they get very hangry.

DS age 4 (he is now 9) started talking about wanting to die because he could not eat the lunch in preschool. I can't do that to my kid.

I do educate about UPFs. Yesterday in the store he asked for a non healthy juice drink as a treat and I said 'are you sure, it's basically just sugar and chemicals' and he picked something else.

Oh I was one such smug parent whose child ate everything as a baby/toddler - baby led weaning, all home cooked meals from scratch, never a UPF past his lips. Aghast at the idea of a chicken nugget.

And the around 2.5 it started getting harder, and harder but we persevered with the home cooked food and he ate less and less and cried at the dinner table and he got thinner and wasn’t growing. I read all the books and did everything I was supposed to be doing but his diet got narrower and narrower.

Fast forward to today he’s 10, diagnosed with ASD, could probably be diagnosed with ARFID if we pursued it but clearly has sensory issues about food. He’s still short and thin I do my level best not to rely on an all-beige diet but I prioritise calories and macros (protein, carbs, fats) and any fruit/veg he will eat (endless cucumber and apples largely). But there is a lot of beige and processed food in his diet because honestly it is not worth the evident distress it causes him to try to force foods on him he’s not comfortable eating.

Kids did used to die from what was described as 'failure to thrive'. Who knows what was actually wrong with them but maybe some of them had arfid.

Thanks, I don't think I have the stomach for it!

Ours filled everything. I even had several teeth removed completely because the dentist reckoned I didn't have enough room in my mouth! They're crumbling a lot now I'm old - but I am sure a lot of the damage was done back in my childhood!

It’s still called failure to thrive.

I had braces in the early 80s. Dentist took four teeth out so the teeth had 'room to straighten' and put the plate brace in straight after the removal. Cue hours of blood collecting under the plate. I cried all afternoon as my mouth hurt like hell. All that for a minor overbite. Two years they were in.

This is still a thing and is not ARFID! As far as I can see ARFID is either linked to MH or autism. There is also a blurred line between it and picky eaters.

I guess when it comes to it it’s down to the parents to ensure their child gets the nutrients they need and not assume just because they’re eating it’s fine.

'Failure to thrive' is a broad term for a child losing weight/not gaining when they should, and can be for a wide variety of underlying causes, of which ARFID may be one, and may be undiagnosed at that point. 'Failure to thrive' is not a specific condition, its a descriptor for a current situation!

My son who is now 27 was weaned by a Spanish and rather marvellous childminder who used to hand purree all sorts and until he was about 6 would eat absolutely anything - he then went through ‘a stage’ where he suddenly wanted very particular meals all the time. Pesto chicken on pasta was one, fishfingers ( had to be Birds Eye) with those chips made of vegetables was another as was potato waffles, sausages ( only M&S or similar quality) and baked beans was another- it got very very repetitive and would only eat peas or baked bean's and I did worry . All of a sudden about 9 he just snapped out of it - totally weird. I think it was the start of hisADHD when it came on - he was actually adult diagnosed at 19 . I do think with some kids it’s a sign of other issues going on mentally or physically. These days at 27 he’s a proper little Gordon Ramsay - loves food and cooking - but has a GF brought up totally on beige food and he’s having to introduce things gradually - she had never had pasta, rice, steak, curry etc

Ugh, sounds awful - thankfully I never needed that torture. Though it was a wonder the dentist didn't suggest it!

No it’s not.

I remain unconvinced I needed it to be honest. My mum insists I was practically bugs bunny, but really, as can be seen from childhood photos, it was barely noticeable. Still, it might have got worse if left. At least I didn't have to have the train tracks or one of those that needed the head piece.

It is…

Its not Arfid.

I didn't say it was ARFID.

failure to thrive/faltering growth is a symptom.

ARFID might be the cause.

So might many many other things. ARFID is one possible cause.

They didn’t say it was ARFID. Although part of the diagnostic criteria for ARFID is arguably that they are failing to thrive.

To me failure to thrive to me is an infant condition. The comment I was replying to was Aria999 in reference to that. Not a symptom of Arfid which is completely different to FTT.

It’s not an infant condition.

https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/faltering-growth/background-information/definition/

The poster up replied stated ARFID could cause FTT. Which is absolutely correct.

Thanks @Riaanna. I didn't realize it was still a current term, I had read it in some historical records once. I was thinking about it in response to the 'no kid will actually starve themselves to death / this is a new thing and our ancestors coped just fine / it's a problem with western attitudes to food and kids must have to eat what is available if food is scarce' type comments you get. Maybe not.

It’s not that simple. Many people with restrictive diets are scared of new foods. If you try and force the issue you run the risk of them refusing safe foods too. My son ended up tube fed because of this ‘they’ll eat eventually’ mentality. It may be true…but the consequences if it isn’t…catastrophic.

Our dentist put a lot of pressure on my mum because I have a gap between my teeth.
Kids at school were having the skin above the gap cut and braces to push them together

My mum told the dentist I’d inherited it from my family and it was lucky meaning I’d be
either rich or a good singer or both. 🤣🤣🤣