To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

"Loopylalalou · Today 15:58
I’m 66 and other than likes and dislikes I cannot recall knowing a child that avoided food. There was always something they’d eat.
But when raising my children we spent time with two children of a similar age that became very restrictive in their choice of food - mainly around their parents - which I truly believe was them exercising control.
Funnily enough, not such a problem otherwise.
This is shared as an experience, I’m not wanting to enter arguments.
Edited"

So what you are basically saying is because YOU never saw it or experienced it, its doesn't exist?

No one said you are a bad mum. Unlike you we aren't being arseholes to parents of kids with eating disorders

Just leaving this here. www.wcrf.org/about-us/news-and-blogs/ultra-processed-foods-we-should-be-guided-by-facts-not-fear/

Imagine being the kind of person who gets a kick out of trolling people going through trauma. You’ve exposed yourself and I have reported this and previous comments.

It still happens. Children who don't eat die. Children here have a chance because the availability is there. We hear about it because these children here are seeing GPS or in hospitals getting feeding tubes, or working with dieticians. These are all luxuries not available in places where war and famine is prevalent. So children who are unable to eat that which is offered simply don't survive. They don't have the options of exploring why they aren't eating. They might be considered as having an undiagnosed ailment which causes the loss of appetite, but statistically they would be recorded as dying of starvation.

Remember, this is what would have happened here years ago. Babies who didn't latch, or rejected mother's milk simply didn't survive. Toddlers who couldn't eat what was available didn't either. They would have been seen as sickly children without any specific ailment that was medically treatable at the time.

When there's no choice, children who can't eat what is put in front of them die. We imagine it isn't happening because of ARFID but we really don't know that, because in those places there isn't the option to try different foods, shakes or other things. We don't know if X child would have survived if they had something other than, say, rice available.

So that's not Arfid then

make sure you report yourself too, for suggesting I would kill my kids because I would do things differently to you

Not what I said though is it. Not even close.

I cannot recall a child or adult with diabetes, allergies or asthma. Your point?

oh don't ANSWER her....she doesn't want to discuss it

Well if you base mothering standards on eating well you’re in for a shock. The lack of empathy or understanding alongside the obvious goading and arrogance re the suggestion posters ignore ED service expertise does make one question the modelling of desirable behaviour for your children.

That child is going to be badly malnourished, no water? Seriously?

I reported it for you anyway.

I've made it to 50 never drinking plain water. And, despite the high levels of sugar in squash in the 70s/80s, I was 17 before I had a filling and still only have 4.

I have zero fillings. It's not normal to have 4 fillings lol

So the issues come when you have a child that won’t eat meat , won’t touch veg. You start looking for alternatives. Some kids can’t cope with certain textures or flavours.

There’s apparently a growing obesity problem in the developing world caused by UPFs which are now pushing out traditional staples.

When DS was little I had this lovely idealistic view of how he would eat. Everything homemade, really aware of nutrients and aiming for a brilliantly balanced diet.

worked wonderfully until he was about 6 and the signs of arfid started. To be fair he doesn’t eat any beige foods, he eats apples and pears mainly with the odd bag of lettuce and carrot. That’s why he has been tube fed for the last 5 years because the foods he is able to eat aren’t calorific enough to sustain him. I would love for him to ask for chicken nuggets.

it’s easy to have ideals but they don’t generally work in reality!

@Riaanna I hope you’re ok after this thread. It’s bothered me deeply and my little one’s eating challenges are still in the early stages, I can only imagine the journey you’ve been on. Everything you’ve said has made perfect sense to me. I hope it has not had the same impact on you and I hope you know you are one amazing and strong mother and I hope I can show the strength and courage through my child’s journey that you have.

And? Break it down. One of us is going out of there way to upset someone parenting a child with a severe eating disorder.

Huh? No, it's not normal, most people my age and over have a lot more than four. Younger people might have less because of the addition of fluoride in the water, but for my age group, most had at least one filling before aged 17.

I haven't had a filling in 20 years. My husband, 7 years my senior has a mouthful.

Thank you. That was kind 🥰

Why do you keep asking questions to everything I post? And then when I answer imply I’m going out of my way to upset you?

I’ve attempted to shut down the conversation multiple times, I’ve wished you well and concluded it’s a case whereby we would do things differently, and then you proceeded to tell me that the difference was that I would kill my child.

Just leave it, I’ve reported you, you’ve reported me. Move on.

You haven’t answered. You’ve repeatedly said the same thing over and over again but not actually answered or addressed any of the points made.

And you’re still going. You’re still asserting that as someone with no experience at all your experience has any value at all or you know anything about it. Your advice would kill a child. That’s the point. Fortunately social services would be involved should you ignore the firm bollocking the professionals gave you for even suggesting gambling the meal replacements.

Fuck me, most of my teeth are filled. Two are crowned. Dentists in the 60s/70s were butchers!