To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

I’m sorry it comes across this way. I just think some these ideas the nutrionists have are dated. I also think a few people have confirmed that during fussier stages with food in childhood, they will introduce foods that can be addictive and nutritionally void in place of the limited but healthier things they were eating before and it’s a slippery slope. The food companies and government are at fault because they know how addictive these foods are!! Given to children with very real and serious eating disorders is dangeous, and how we all view food and what we allow our children to eat does need to be addressed.

I don’t know if you’ll find this interesting or relevant (at least scientifically) , but my birth mother was a teen who managed to successfully conceal her pregnancy while at boarding school by basically starving herself. She was skin and bone when she gave birth and barely had a bump. I was a low weight despite being born full term. Then she abandoned me in the hospital and I was left in the charge of overworked ,busy and stressed nurses who used to spoon/cup feed babies with milk(rather than bottle) and there were quite a few of us abandoned babies (abortion was illegal) so even with the best will in the world, I doubt I was fed on demand /sufficiently as a newborn. I do wonder if me not feeling hungry (for years after) is somehow connected to all of that.

I’d roll my eyes but go along with it. I think we’ve all been there, worrying if they don’t eat a certain amount it’s best to give them junk food.

So have you tried it?

You really don't understand. I was always advised that if I was in a hole, I should stop digging.

I’ve been to HV and doctors , especially when little . No one gave a shit. No advice, no support, no referrals, no nothing. She’s fine, she’s not losing weight. They had some concerns about her height about which they did absolutely nothing. So I put the work in and got her to eat eventually because I wasn’t going to wait around for them. Progress was slow and painful, but there was progress and she got better . Not quite sure why she’s regressing again now, but most days I can get her to have at least one (home cooked) meal everyday , sometimes she’ll have 3 meals a day even if some are considered “crap” and she still loves fruit and milk so we’re mostly ok. I’m not dismissing another (most likely pointless) visit to the GP though if it worsens and luckily her secondary school pastoral care team is fantastic so we have that for support as well if needed this time.

Fuck, I’m so sorry. That must have been a really tough start in life.

It does stand to reason that there must surely be a connection between all of these things and your ongoing relationship with food, but I’m guessing you also have trauma going on and transferring that to food issues how some people try and cope, so maybe it’s a mixture of things, especially as you are neurodivergent too.

I hope you have found some peace in your life, despite still experiencing food issues . X

I appreciate your point, but I think for struggling parents who don’t know where to go then following the path that has been set out by a qualified person which has proven success in the past will be a lifeline for them. For someone to say ‘but this is potentially your fault’ as it sounds like you’re saying when they’re doing their absolute best isn’t going to go down well.

I can’t comment, I have my own food issues and all I can comment on is what worked for me, but I’ve never parented a child with an eating disorder and never been given the advice. But I think the parents on this thread are telling you they did what was best and that if that was what worked (with a whole variety of faults) then that was what worked. I’m sure many of them tried homemade smoothies and ice creams and so on. But with textural issues, the smallest thing can trigger you. I cannot cope with meat most of the time because I imagine textural issues that aren’t here and I can’t swallow and then I’m sick. Disguising the meat won’t help because the psychological issue is there. I won’t repeat what works/worked for me on this thread because it upset another poster, but it’s more complicated than just ‘blitz the veggies up into a sauce type stuff.

Sorry , I said I’m NT (neurotypical)-as far as I know- in my first post to you. I apologise if my phrasing was confusing , or misleading , that was not my intention.

Oh no, that’s just my reading comprehension! Sorry, entirely my fault.

Sorry, can I just clarify. You’re suggesting that I remove her prescribed meal replacement shakes that contain all the nutrients she needs and literally keep her alive and swap with ice cream made from liver capsules, cream, sugar and fruit? What…? Are you serious…? She would die.

You've actually jumped the fucking shark now. You can't seriously think your liver flavoured milkshake is an improvement on a meal replacement shake?!

That'd be a fast track to an ARFID kid refusing any and all shakes or even thickened smoothie drinks possibly forever more.

It’s completely bonkers. Pediasure and ensure are the gold standard. Unless you’re living in mumsnet apparently. Can you imagine being that arrogant?!

In my experience of raising two boys (who are now adults and eat mostly anything) small children can be fussy. But you can always find something they will eat that is nutritious. One of them has autism and I don’t think that had anything to do with it as they were both the same. Neither would eat fruit as small kids but would tolerate some veg. Potatoes were a win. I agree that if you don’t constantly offer junk and juice they can’t eat or drink it and they are not likely to starve. Equally one has to be pragmatic and accept they might not want crudités and hummus like so-and-sos perfect child down the road.

wrong.

Sorry what makes you think you know the better than the actual doctor that prescribed the nutrition shakes?

How many children do you have OP?

My eldest eats a wide variety of food and never had an issues with getting vegetables etc into him. Can moderate really well when it comes to sweet food. Only drinks water and milk, will sip at a fruit shoot at a party. Thought I’d nailed parenting and weaning.

Then my youngest came along. Absolutely will not eat a vegetable. Refuses cucumber, tomatoes, sweetcorn, peas - all the usual quick win veggies. If he doesn’t like anything he will just absolutely refuse it, doesn’t care if that means he’s going to bed hungry. Ridiculous sweet tooth. Honestly can’t say I’ve done anything differently with them. I will absolutely do what it takes to get food into him to make sure he’s not going hungry and gets some nutrition!

Well I don’t know how you think kids survived back in the day when there were no multipacks of crisps and juice pouches available so we never had these things all the time and lemonade was maybe a weekly treat. I’m not saying small kids aren’t challenging when it comes to food, they always have been, neurodiverse or not.

🤣🤣 liver infused ice cream, oh my child would definitely eat that! Sounds delicious.

Really? Well many died. That’s the reality of it. Look at infant mortality rates. Childhood mortality rates. Children dealing with failure to thrive. Children living in institutions. But also look at what kids lived off food wise. Food was repetitive and bland and actually children not eating fresh fruit / veg / meat was not uncommon. Diets consisting of beige food was pretty typical. It might have been different restrictions but restricted diets still existed.

you are right and I was wrong. I apologise. It wasn't kind of me to be rude about your experience.

Could you offer it alongside the replacements? If she tolerates the texture of the shake

Exactly it's just more obvious now there is more choice

It’s dessicated liver capsules full
of iron and b12, disguised in a shake made with ice cream and real fruit. It would taste of milk shake. Why not try?

Jelly is often prescribed for those with swallow issues as slips down easily and delivers calories. It's on the puree scale.