To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

How do you know? Have you tried?

God what’s wrong with jelly now 😫

Because I'm vegetarian and it sounds grim.

Thing is you might not know there's a medical reason. DS wasn't diagnosed with ASD until he was 10. We've struggled since he was very young to get him to eat a balanced diet, at a basic level he likes carbs - pasta, potato, bread - with cheese. He's good with fruit, not good with veg. As a toddler he went weeks only eating avocado, bagels and porridge.

I didn't start off giving him a bad diet. It was just finding things he would actually eat. Now I'm (inwardly) excited if he even tries anything new. He's fairly recently tried burgers and gammon and liked them, not the best food in the world but at least it's something different.

And my child wouldn't eat it because they don't eat fruit or drink milkshake.

Too much sugar according to @MumWifeOtherwho has declared herself a nutrition expert despite having zero experience of ARFID or childhood eating disorders 😉

Child mortality rates were higher for many reasons - infectious diseases, poorer sanitation, poverty to name a few. I’m not sure what your point is. I’m not promoting a beige food diet. Equally I don’t think parents should be scared of saying no. And I have seen a case where when it got as far as a paediatrician - because the parents had got to the end of their tether with a 7yo hyper child that would only drink cherry coke and was up half the night, when a professional got involved they suddenly had the gumption to ban cherry coke - and the sky didn’t fall in and the child’s sleep improved.

No. Because what you have described:

will not be the same texture or similar
is a sugary drink
would have no benefits at all
risks her stopping drinking her actual essential prescribed shakes.

Why would we introduce it? If she drinks more fluid that’s less food and how do we then keep her calorie intake?

One benefit, that’s what I want you to give, one simple benefit for swapping her entire nutritional intake for what you’ve randomly invented? Like what would be the point?

Sigh. Not worth it.

So child is chronically underweight and has a history of malnutrition.

They’re prescribed meal replacement shakes which account for 1/3 of their daily calorie intake and 100% of nutritional needs in terms of vitamins, minerals etc. they take this happily.

You as their parent would decide to replace the meal replacement shake and replace with a shake made from ice cream, blended fruit (awful for you) and liver capsules. Really?!

Fruit - which I actually like but contains far too much sugar for me to have much of at all - diabetic, trying to reduce the insulin I take not increase it...

Full fat cream - I also like in small amounts but full fat cream based icecream has an AWFUL mouthfeel for me, leaving fat coating the roof of my mouth, making me gag.

Dessicated liver - no. I'll get my b12 elsewhere thanks (I have b12 jabs).

I think I'll stick to the shakes my Dr has evaluated and deemed appropriate.

I also don't think you've understood food chaining - it has to be done carefully.

Piss about and instead of learning to like a similar food you can put a child OFF a seemingly similar food they were previously eating. I can absolutely guarantee your liver milkshakes would put me off the meal replacement shakes I use. 100%.

I mean they don’t come out if the womb drinking juice and eating quavers. He only knows they exist as he’s been given them at some point.

And that “point” was likely when his mum was at the end of her tether trying to get something, anything into him.

I’ve been lucky that my Dc eat well; but it’s just that- luck. It hasn’t left me unable to comprehend how challenging it must be for parents who haven’t been as lucky. Are you really that short on imagination? There are no parents who don’t care that their Dc only eats quavers.

Yes if they'd never had a quaver then it would never be a safe food, the same way as if they'd never had snails and frogs legs that would never be a safe food either, what's your point exactly? If nothing they've experienced is a safe food they'd starve and need an ng tube. It's not THAT difficult to understand. And why is everyone so obsessed with bloody quavers? 😂 my ARFID kid can't even be in the same room as a crisp but that probably ruins your narrative.

I do try and mix other veg into her beans. Sometimes she will eat but mostly spits it out then refuses to eat anything.

I think I’m just stressed that her eating is getting worse over the last year instead of better.

She helps me prepare food (in hopes she will want to try it) but doesn’t seem interested in eating anything.

The pasta is literally bachelors chicken and mushroom one in a packet. I can’t even make her veggie sauces like I used to.

I think it's one of those things that if you haven't experienced having a child with sensory issues you just don't understand. Also people enjoy being smug about their parenting and they like to feel they are doing a superior job. My first child is very sensory and would not eat anything all day if his safe foods are not available. It's hard to believe until you see it. My younger DD eats everything. At least I get to feel smug about her.

I have tried everything with my DC2 to eat better. So did nursery, so did primary. No SEN, just very fussy on texture. I’m the opposite.

My Autistic DD (19) pretty much only eats “beige” food. She explained it to me that she can rely on her safe foods to always taste the same and have the same texture, but fresh meat and veg vary so much. Even when I was weaning her she would eat carrot purée or broccoli purée, but not carrot mixed with broccoli. Meal times were a constant battle when she was younger, but by the time she was about 10 I had had enough of fighting with her and stopped pushing her to eat what I thought she should eat. I actually used the “fed is best” as a mantra! Without the additional pressure she actually was more willing to try new things, on her own terms.

Won’t even try it - even if it could be better for you. Low on b12 and having to take insulin. This isn’t a sustainable solution. Dessicated liver / organ capsules are full of bio available b12!! Imagine someone trying to offer a healthier solution for you to just be so dismissive! Good luck to you

If my child was in this situation, they would take the shakes and I would absolutely try and do my own alongside them to try and overcome the malnutrition and help them gain weight. I would absolutely take accountability to find other options that might work, and I wouldn’t rely on the doctors or their advice solely, no. Blended fruit is not awful for you when balanced with fat and protein, and the liver would be a very easy way to get in bio available nutrients. Quite honestly, if you wouldn’t even explore this then that’s up to you. I absolutely would try

You don't have the first clue do you? I am not sure why you keep embarrassing yourself!

One of my children ate everything until he was 6 (I made all my own baby food and meals for him) suddenly he was just refusing foods he had previously enjoyed - luckily for me it was just a phase and now he eats most foods but I agree with others on here commenting that food preferences don’t seem to be related to ‘proper or superior parenting’. You’re trying to hide your disapproval as confusion but making comments about it are not likely to be appreciated or of any practical use. She is where she is with her child’s eating habits and it can be really stressful and frustrating. Support - don’t judge.

I’ve known kids who have starved themselves so much that they are hospitalised and tube fed of their safe food/s aren’t available.

It’s ok to have other things on offer but as others have said, in a less forceful way. Not even mentioning the other things and definitely not pushing for them to try.

The reason many kids with sensory issues prefer beige or processed foods is that they are the same each time. Fruit and veg can be unpredictable. Even as an adult I’ve stoped eating many fruits because I’ve bought a bag of oranges for example that were truly awful a dry flavourless or really sour. So I’ve stopped buying oranges for ages. Then the same with other fruits.

I work with send kids and many have issues around food. Some may only eat chips for example, or plain cooked cold pasta. Other foods are often made available through sensory play where they can try without pressure.

My own kids have both gone through various food stages. My autistic child was a fab eater as a baby and toddler. Tried her on school lunches before they were free to kS1 and the teacher told me to send a packed lunch as she wasn’t eating the school lunches. Fast forward a year or so when school lunches became free and I stopped sending on a packed lunch and she started eating a wider variety of foods. Often with bread on the side as it was always available. So we kept on with the school lunches. As she’s got older she’s gone a bit backward and stopped eating things due to texture, smell or weird taste all of a sudden.

Second child tried with the free lunches and she refused so I ended up sending packed lunches with the same thing in daily. This child refused to eat any veg but loved fruit to snack on. So lots of fruit at home. Meals mostly beige. Offered veg with meals but always tried and left. Now 12 and exploring a wider range of food. Definitely trying more. I’ve given up forcing food down them. I don’t want food to be a battle ground and I can’t afford to buy food then bin it. Going to friends’ houses has recently helped loads as they eat things there they wouldn’t at home.

You can offer him other things. He might be tempted if he sees your DD happily eating something.

However, if he's anxious and needs safe foods please let him have them as the main option. There are many reasons for this and it really isn't about being fussy or eating what you're given. I still have traumatic memories of being forced to eat things which I genuinely had issues with and it gave me a terrible relationship with food.

It’s a current THEORY that is not yet proved. Research into ARFID is nowhere near where it needs to be and causes are far from definitive. We simply don’t know. I’ve spoken to Prof Williams personally about this, and I can guarantee you he is not saying UPF are definitely the cause.