Friend asked dh for 2 year loan

[ParsnipPuree]

Dh’s closest friend broke down to dh and told him he’s in trouble. Owes £25k to a friend who now needs it back. Dh offered to help on the basis it’s payed back in instalments every month for up to 2 years.

I am friends with his wife who is oblivious. Her dh won’t confide in her. She doesn’t know there’s a problem so will carry on as normal. I don’t think she’s a big spender but that’s not the point. They had a week away shortly before her dh and mine had this conversation.

Im angry because if there was a medical situation they couldn’t cover, that would be one thing but they’re obviously living beyond their means. Dh is taking the money out his company so it doesn’t affect me. If my friend knew she’d be mortified.

Is he having a contract put in writing so he has some legal recourse when he doesn't pay?

Dh insists he 100% believes he’ll get it back. If he didn’t, that’s when I’d tell my friend

Except it's a bit late by then, and while the friend may "never have asked before" you can be quite certain he will again, now he's found an unquestioing source of money

To my mind his wife needs to know, and I'd tell her with no hesitation

If i were your friend I'd be furious with you if it came to that!

I'd be telling my bloke that if he does then you're telling his missus. The warning bells should have sounded when he said he was desperate to pay someone else back. Even if it is true, which I doubt then it shows he's shit with money and might have tapped out everyone else.

Tell your DH that he should consider the money a gift if he gives it, in that way he won't be disappointed if/when he doesn't get it back. If he can't look on it as probably a gift he should think at least twice before lending it.

Good grief OP, this is a terrible idea!

The reason he wants a loan now is to repay another friend who he hasn’t paid back previously which has now become an urgent and possibly unpleasant situation. Given his track record, your DH has absolutely no chance of getting the cash back on schedule.

It seems very unlikely that this guy will have a spare 1K every month for the next 2 years to pay to your DH: If he did he wouldn't be in the mess he is in. Your DH will not get much (if any) of this money back.

That you are aware of you mean. That is not a normal sum of money to borrow from a friend, it's huge!

This man has got into debt and got a friend to bail him out, been unable to pay him back and is now looking for another friend to plug the gap. Alll without admitting to his wife that his finances are in a bad way. Guess it's up to your DH what he does, but I don't think that lending this friend more money will help unless he addresses the root cause of his overspending and makes a plan with his wife for sorting out their finances.

And your DH would be a complete idiot to lend him this.

So he just goes friend to friend borrowing thousands from one to pay back another?

This seems like a very bad idea .

So .... this "friend" is borrowing money from his friend (your DH) to pay back money he owes to another friend but cannot pay back? Have I got this right?

Frankly your OH would be crazy to become the next friend whom this "friend" cannot pay back. What can he be thinking of?

Offer this "friend" financial advice by all means.... put him in touch with debt counsellors ... offer kindness and support. But do not let one penny of your family money get anywhere near him.

Borrowing from 1 friend to pay back the loan from another friend?

I'm sorry but he's a financial mess. Your DH would be crazy to do this.

The £25K won't be repaid and the friendship will end acrimoniously.

What other secrets does he keep from his wife? Gambling, drugs? Why did he need to borrow £25K to begin with. It's a lot of money.

You're just joining in the awful mess if you do this.

This is never going to end well. I would go so far as to say it might wreck your relationship too. No advice but much sympathy.

Debt advisor here. Do not touch this with a bargepole. 99% of the time this only ends one way.

Never lend money that you can’t afford to lose.

Your husband is insane. And as a pp has mentioned he'll have to pay tax on withdrawal so it'll end up costing you more than 25k.

You need to tell his wife straight away. He could be hiding gambling debt or anything.

I’d be saying a hard and fast no. He clearly got himself into a mess borrowing off friend 1 in the first place. And rather than working towards paying that back himself, he’s expecting your DH to bail him out. He’s learned nothing.

I would not lend him any money. He's clearly an habitual borrower. Your husband will never see this money again.

This is going to be unpopular but I would 100% just tell her. I would have loyalty to her not her husband. Obviously I would have loyalty to mine, but unless he told me not to tell her, sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness not permission etc....
He is basically taking on a loan to repay another loan. First he needed the money. He took out a loan but essentially is not in a position to pay it back, hence the second loan. It is unlikely the economy or cost of living will improve, so I doubt he will ever pay this back. If he is borrowing from friends and not banks then there will be a very good reason why no legitimate financial institution will lend to him.
It's not fair that she is oblivious to this. Maybe she can help the situation (spend less or earn more) if she is aware.

If you're unable to persuade your DH to not do this then at the very least, get him to draw up something in writing, confirming it's a loan, the timescale for repayment and how much to be repaid each month. If the friend defaults then this is the only way you'd have any chance of taking him to court for it. Your DH also has to be prepared to do what is necessary to recoup his money in the case of default. If he's a "soft touch" then would he be unable to take action if the friend has lots of kids to support? It's a very bad idea to do the loan and I personally wouldn't.

£25k repaid over 2 years is over £1000 a month. Do you really think the friend, who is clearly not great with his finances, can or will be able to repay this every month? It’s not £100, it’s a huge amount of money that I personally think you’d be giving away. Are you comfortable with this?

If this money has gone on everyday spending, how is he going to manage future everyday spending and paying you DH back. Another vote for not doing it. He needs to go to a proper lender.

1. tax
2. his friend had £1000 per month to pay back??? How
3. your dh is bonkers

He says he agreed with the previous friend to pay back in instalments which he was doing, but this friend needed the money back pronto.