To ask how many of you married for money?

[Quietsurrender]

Because I am considering it.

Divorced with DC and starting to really struggle financially and now also in other ways.

Has anyone done the opposite and married a a skint, no hoper for love and how did it turn out?

My mum did . In the fifties she was left with myself and my brother plus her own younger siblings as her mother had died . Mum was really struggling financially when she met my stepdad . He got the housekeeper he wanted and she got security . He wasn’t a wealthy man but he was a hard worker. He was very boring and controlling but they rubbed along for years until he died. When we became adults we tried to give mum the social life and holidays she had missed out on . Mum certainly paid for her security.

Yes and I was stupidly naive. He wasn't the respectable middle class man with a decent job my parents hoped for but they welcomed him into the family. He was an abusive narcissist.

He's onto his next victim now, although she's probably more his type than I was. I hope she has her head screwed on and doesn't get screwed over by him.

many women will go with rich men but these men will get with these women for love - but men are called the shallow ones?

I experienced it reversed. I was 20, I was in a job I was successful in, I had my own home, my own car, I was thriving. My ex was 29, he lived with his mum, couldn’t drive and didn’t even have a job. He got with me, would sit in my house all day whilst I was at work. I was his personal taxi driver. He continued to refuse to work, yet I was the one who paid for his room share rent, his multiple holidays with his friends, his drug habit, his designer clothes etc.

So think of it reversed. It’s miserable, you’ll be using someone for their money. I think so many women do this, become mothers and lose any sort of ambition or success they would have if they was single and standing on their own two feet. And if you leave or divorce, then you lose everything.

Well it’s not guaranteed. I know a Cambridge-educated bloke who trained to be a barrister but couldn’t find a full pupillage, so he switched to teaching, which he loves. He and his wife (who he married almost straight out of university) are still together 30 years after they met.

Yes @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle I definitely expected it to change and of course it did. Wouldnt have been able to love a lazy layabout. We were ( and are) both professionals in well paid careers.
However neither of us have inheritances or family money.

No.

We met at university. By the end of our first date (which admittedly lasted the whole weekend) DH informed me, in all seriousness, that he was in love with me and we would be spending the rest of our lives together! He also told me he would be a multi millionaire and retire by the age of 50! I might have laughed, but didn't doubt him for a second.

He started his first, very successful, company whilst still at university. We lived the high life but also lived through some very deep lows (the 2008 recession nearly broke us).

It's taken a couple of extra years, but he's retiring this year and we'll never have to worry about money again. But, the money never mattered to me. I fell in love with him on that first date and have never stopped falling in love with him.

If you marry purely for money then you're selling a piece of your soul.

I only know one person who has married specifically for money (although it can be a motivating factor, I suppose). But I know quite a few people who are remaining married because of money (usually because there are children involved and splitting would be complicated financially).

No, not married FOR money, but financial matters were certainly part of the overall picture that I seriously considered for my OH (we've been together 38 years) and my previous serious boyfriend who I dumped because of his lack of money awareness and carelessness. I certainly wouldn't have married OH if I hadn't loved him and enjoyed time with him, shared values, etc., but if he'd had no prospects and was a flippant spendthrift, I'd have ended it before we got to the stage of marriage, house buying, children, etc. So it's not the main factor, but it IS a major factor.

Had money and married someone with more money. Bad news is, this is a near impossibility for a single mum

Indeed - men who do this are unanimously termed cocklodgers on MN, aren't they. But when a woman does it, she's just looking out for her financial security?

What it comes down to is that an alarming proportion of women in 2025 really do believe that a man's natural role is to earn money and a woman's natural role is to look after the house. And they'll try to frame that in quasi-feminist terms without acknowledging that it's the same old regressive evolutionary bullshit that holds women back.

Honestly, I will threads like these is a bit of a reminder to make sure that you put the family wealth in trust, there’ll be no daughter-in-law who does well out of my son.

I was a single mum and married a wealthy man,
for love not money. We have been together for 16 years and happily married for 7.

It took me 9 years to agree to marry him because, and I’m going to here, despite us living together after being together for 2 years. I was still a bit set in my single parent mindset!

to be honest here

Not D, xH no 1, loaded, turned out to be a violent controlling bully. I didn't marry him for money but money wasn't an inducement to stay.
I didn't get a penny maintenance or half the house either.
Not a problem.

This I agree with! Sex and money are key areas for a successful relationship.

I’d be very careful. My ex is a high earner and I was so miserable with him I longed to be with an ordinary guy on an ordinary salary. The unaffectionate and subdued aspects of his personality could end up killing your spirit. I ended up despising 5* star hotels and would have rather shared a tent in a soggy field with a man I actually enjoyed being around day and night.

Couldn't have said it better. This is exactly my life only I'm still in it. Think about my exit plan daily. Can't imagine making the same decisions all over again if given the choice.

OP: I'd stop dating him immediately. Being married to a man who is not affectionate is soul-destroying. Stop putting another minute into this guy so that you are available to find someone with long-term potential.

I would do just about anything for money.

That’s a good idea regardless of the sex of your children and their partner.

😂 No, I came from a family who had good money… married someone from a broke background.

Would never marry for money, always go for the person themselves.

No because I respect myself too much

I'd never marry someone purely for financial reasons. What I would do, if I was ever single again is date men who are on an equal footing, salary wise. Being the higher earner when you have children together is fine. You're a family. But without those shared children ( and when there aren't going to be any) , you're simply subsidising another adult. I wouldn't be prepared to do that and think too highly of myself to allow a man too 🤣.

What about a man who had a lower income but a very large paid off house? Or a man on a large salary renting with no equity? Genuine questions.

I think it's a bit of a minefield and takes time. Which I don't have a lot of 😄

It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I know from personal experience that someone that you think has integrity, morals, is the 'lovely guy' can turn out to be absolutely awful, even after being with them for years, having built up a life with them. We see it on here all the time. So marrying for money? Probably not the most daft idea anyone has had.