Cheap chocolate and presents from MIL

[nottheplan]

Mil and dhs family always buy rubbish presents and easter chocolate for our dcs. We're talking rotten own brand chocolate that nobody likes. It just gets chucked in the bin. Also cheap plastic toys from b&m in the 2 for £20 offer for birthdays and Christmas. Always break into pieces and get chucked in the bin. They are most definitely not poor. Wibu to ask them not to buy anymore for our dcs? If I phrase it that they have too much already and were trying to cut down on toys and treats?

Definitely suggest books as gifts.
I've never seen a child turn down a lidl bunny. I imagine they're highly influenced by you turning up your nose at them.
It sounds like you're drawing comparisons between both sets of GP which is really unhelpful. Just work on your own sense of gratitude and how to model that to your DC and their response will miraculously change too.

OK but it's not your in laws fault your children have fussy tastes? Plenty of kids would be happy with it?

Could your in-laws be playing mind games op?
my ex Mil could buy us tat usually from a jumble sale, although there is nothing wrong with jumble sales. The items gifted had often seen better days. Her dd my sil would regularly be gifted designer items. Or things that were of a quality.
My ex mil was a complete snob who enjoyed putting me down. If I had anything decent there was always a back handed comment.

I was always grateful and politely thanked them.

Then I moved on

Nestle chocolate is MINGING so I dunno how you’d rather have that. I’d sooner 10 Lidl bunnies than a bar of nestle it’s just grim.

You just come across as a snob I’m afraid. My SIL is the same. Only happy with branded things. Kids love the 2 for £20 b&m toys and I guarantee they’d much prefer that over clothes. It’s you that doesn’t like it because it’s not a branded barbie or Lego. You’re just a brand snob and bringing your kids up the same

So intercept it, then donate it instead, letting the kids take a small bite then throwing the whole lot in the bin seems ridiculous to be honest, and a really wasteful ungrateful thing to encourage.. not to mention complain about!

I wouldn't let mine open it if I knew they wouldn't actually eat it.

They may not be to your taste, but for some people those 2 for £20 deals mean the difference between their kids getting a gift and getting nothing.

You are a massive snob, and not in a good way. Not to mention rude and ungrateful

They mean well. Try accepting gifts in the spirit in which they were given, which is a good lesson for your kids as well.

I must say you sound like a self -centered, snobby wannerbe!
In fact did you learn your parenting skills from the Catherine Tate posh mum character

I try and intercept cheap plastic toys my MiL brings before the kids open the box so that they can be donated to the charity shop ‘as new’ for someone else’s MIL to buy for their grandchildren. My logic is that if I say thank you politely, she is happy and then at least a charity is getting some money from before the plastic goes to landfill.

We’ve asked MIL not to buy anything, that the kids don’t need it etc, but she doesn’t listen and she would have a massive sulk if we gave it back which I also don’t have time for.

Everyone is different when it comes to presents. It’s a bit of a minefield!
personally I hate spending money on cheap plastic tat that gets binned two days later so I’d rather give money, particularly when I’m not close enough to the child emotionally or geographically to know what they like or already have.
My in laws moved quire some distance away so I messaged and asked for bank details for the kids as sending money seemed a better bet, but Sil took such offence she’s hardly spoken to me since. Giving them money for their birthdays was a dreadful insult it seems! My kids at the same ages would have been thrilled to buy something for themselves…

Even my kids know why I never buy Nestlé products.

I get the not wanting lots of plastic tat, but I honestly don’t understand what you mean about the presents are opened, therefore you can’t donate them? Surely if the kids lose interest in them immediately, you can sneak them to a charity shop without grandparents finding out?

How old are your kids OP?

Yes it's always the in-laws isn't it? Ghastly people.

The toys OP mentioned from b&m are fine. My daughter got some 2 Christmas’s ago and they aren’t ’broke into pieces’ yet

Lidl chocolate is way nicer than nestle!!

I think your children have copied your feelings.

give the toys to charity shop, don’t bin them

I imagine they're highly influenced by you turning up your nose at them.
Bingo

You know OP wouldn't be happy either if they simply put the money they spend into a card either.

Laughing at OP thinking Nestle is quality chocolate too. Such a refined palate.

It’s frustrating when gifts end up unused or in the bin, but unless you’re upfront about how you really feel, she’ll probably keep buying the same things. To you it might seem like rubbish, but your MIL may have genuinely put thought into it and thinks she’s doing something nice for the kids.

If you do say something, be honest but kind. Just avoid words like “rubbish, cheap, and rotten”. They make you sound ungrateful and snobbish, even if that’s not your intent.

She’s got every right to tell people not to buy her kids a load of crap they don’t need.
OP, I tell everyone (that I know buys them crap) that they don’t need any more toys and we don’t have any space. They’re too young to know. We ask for money for their savings and that’s what happens and that’s where the money goes.

You’re contradicting yourself because one minute you’re saying it’s not edible and then you’re saying everyone has different tastes? How is your MIL meant to know your children wouldn’t like it?

My daughter got a Milky Way egg and didn’t like it, she must preferred the Lidl eggs from her Easter egg hunt

They must be pretty young if op is buying wooden toys.

My children eat cheap chocolate, I'm pretty confident they wouldn't even know the difference in a taste test. I have also bought them cheap toys from B&M including the 2 for £20. I've never actually had a toy break from there and they've been well used for a good year before going on to the charity shop in very good condition. My youngest is autistic and very heavy handed. Either you're lying or your children can't look after things and maybe pick up on your expression when you see them bite into the lowly cheap chocolate.

@Ossoduro2
“We’ve asked MIL not to buy anything, that the kids don’t need it etc, but she doesn’t listen and she would have a massive sulk if we gave it back which I also don’t have time for.”

Can you really not a imagine how upsetting it might be to have a present handed back? And being upset is not the same as “having a massive sulk”?
Oh, it’s that “in-laws aren’t allowed feelings” thing again, isn’t it….

You sound a bit snobby, turning your nose up at own brand chocolate, not sure what the problem is with that?
as for the cheap toys, yes clutter is annoying but you can’t tell people ( especially who are not your own parents) what to spend their money on! If your dh feels the same, get him to make gift suggestions next time?
you can’t tell people donate the toys to charity shops if they are that unwanted

Can I suggest you teach your children to look after their toys and not break them ?
How old are the children?