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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cheap chocolate and presents from MIL

314 replies

nottheplan · 23/04/2025 16:15

Mil and dhs family always buy rubbish presents and easter chocolate for our dcs. We're talking rotten own brand chocolate that nobody likes. It just gets chucked in the bin. Also cheap plastic toys from b&m in the 2 for £20 offer for birthdays and Christmas. Always break into pieces and get chucked in the bin. They are most definitely not poor. Wibu to ask them not to buy anymore for our dcs? If I phrase it that they have too much already and were trying to cut down on toys and treats?

OP posts:
FlakyCritic · 23/04/2025 18:26

OP can your husband talk to your MIL, do you think?

hellofromtheotherside25 · 23/04/2025 18:26

So if they spent £1-£2 more you’d be happy? Yeah right!
I find it hard to believe that ALL of the toys break so easily. We have bought lots of toys from B&M over the years. The quality is absolutely fine and our kids loved them.
Also, I have never known a child to refuse some chocolate, or given a shite about what brand it is.
If your kids have an issue with either the toys or chocolate, it’s likely they have simply inherited your unpleasant and ungrateful ways.
Give your IL’s a break. Thank them for their kindness and leave it at that.

sandyhappypeople · 23/04/2025 18:27

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 23/04/2025 18:02

They may not be to your taste, but for some people those 2 for £20 deals mean the difference between their kids getting a gift and getting nothing.

You are a massive snob, and not in a good way. Not to mention rude and ungrateful

to be honest if that was the only present the child got it would be better that they got nothing, like I said before out of the 6 of those types of gifts either myself or family have bought for my DD4 in the last year, one was missing a component which made it unusable, two wouldn't assemble correctly because of manufacturing faults and couldn't be played with, one doesn't work at all and one broke within seconds of using it, all have gone in the bin, apart from a few bits like cars/dinosaurs etc that came as part of the set.

All those plasticky toys from bargain places are such a massive scam and they actively target people with lower income who can't afford to buy much for their family, it would be devastating for a child to receive a special gift only for it to break or be unusable through no fault of their own. There really should be more awareness of just how awful quality the manufacturing on some of this stuff is, even the pictures on the box are completely different to the product inside, it really is a massive scam.

One was a monster truck arena which looked great! one of the plastic parts was wrong so the outside of the arena wouldn't fit together to start with, and the bag of sand that came (the picture on the box shows the arena full of sand), didn't even fill a mug!.. to supposedly "fill" a dinner tray sized arena!!.. DD was so excited when she saw the box, and she really tried to hide her disappointment when none of it was useable.. I made light of it but I was absolutely fuming, B&M that one was from, so I've told my family not to buy any more 'self assemble' plastic toys from any of these places as nothing last more than a day, if they are even useable to begin with.

OP is still a snob though!

BunnyLake · 23/04/2025 18:29

hehehesorry · 23/04/2025 16:35

I like fancy chocolate but you can't act like cheap chocolate is inedible garbage, makes you sound like a massive twat. I agree with you on the plastic. Some people who have alot of money still spend like they don't, it's a gift so you don't get to choose what it is

I’ve always loved chocolate but even as a very unfussy child I couldn’t eat the cheap chocolate eggs I used to get given. I only ever got from my not well off parents (no gp) so I used to think that I just didn't like Easter eggs. Only when I got older did I realise it wasn’t easter eggs I didn’t like it was the cheap (cooking?) chocolate eggs I used to get. (My parents weren’t to know, bless ‘em, they had three kids to buy for and little money).

I did eat them but I didn’t really like them.

arcticpandas · 23/04/2025 18:31

Don't believe for a second that your kids feel the difference between brand and non brand milk chocolate. Do you know most of them are manufuctured at the same site and have the same intredients ? If your DC are brand snobs it's because they learnt from mum..

vickylou78 · 23/04/2025 18:31

nottheplan · 23/04/2025 17:39

They really aren't 🤑

I feel like your tastes are projecting onto the kids.... Chocolate to kids is just chocolate. I've never known a child to care one bit about branded chocolates until they get to high school type age and are sucked in by advertising

Oldmothershrubboard · 23/04/2025 18:31

BunnyLake · 23/04/2025 18:29

I’ve always loved chocolate but even as a very unfussy child I couldn’t eat the cheap chocolate eggs I used to get given. I only ever got from my not well off parents (no gp) so I used to think that I just didn't like Easter eggs. Only when I got older did I realise it wasn’t easter eggs I didn’t like it was the cheap (cooking?) chocolate eggs I used to get. (My parents weren’t to know, bless ‘em, they had three kids to buy for and little money).

I did eat them but I didn’t really like them.

Edited

Maybe you don't like chocolate after all because the cheaper brands often have more cocoa solids in them.

BunnyLake · 23/04/2025 18:32

Oldmothershrubboard · 23/04/2025 18:31

Maybe you don't like chocolate after all because the cheaper brands often have more cocoa solids in them.

I love chocolate! I was a working class kid from the 60s/70s, no brand snobbishness then.

Topsyturvy78 · 23/04/2025 18:35

TomatoSandwiches · 23/04/2025 16:19

Use the chocolate to make a cake or biscuits/muffins to give back as a thank you, donate the other gifts to children that don't get any presents at all, I'm sure they'd be grateful.

So they should be greatful for any old shit that breaks quickly because their poor?

1000DayChallenge · 23/04/2025 18:35

AliasGrape · 23/04/2025 16:56

I don’t think all the b&m 2 for 20 toys break within weeks do they? DD has a b&m dolls pushchair that’s still going strong after 2 and half years (and it’s been well used!), plus a little plastic kitchen in a carry case that is still one of her favourite things, and likewise a £5 plastic teaset which came from wilko on her first birthday and has been one of the best things we ever got her.

Can you give more specific suggestions for what they would like? Stuff like animal or dinosaur figures for example should be pretty umbreakable, the plastic play food is fairly open ended, or steer them towards craft stuff and things that get used up and you don’t have to keep indefinitely?

Otherwise you can still donate toys or offer on your local Facebook thrift page?

I don’t think they do. We bought a couple of sets of fake Barbie’s to take on holiday once, thinking we’d leave them there. The kids loved them and they ended up coming home and bring added to the real Barbies

I’ve just looked at the 2 for £20 toys and so many of them are branded Disney, Peppa pig, Harry Potter etc. You can’t just use those names, they have to have a license, and massive company’s like Disney aren’t going to let dangerous toys be produced in their name. We have really strict toy safety laws in the UK

If, by cheap chocolate you mean Lidl or Aldi, their chocolate is amazing

Please be kind OP. Your in-laws are doing their best

Spankmeonthebottomwithawomansweekly · 23/04/2025 18:37

nottheplan · 23/04/2025 17:39

They really aren't 🤑

I wonder how much of that is in your head?

It’s European chocolate, not necessarily ‘cheap’

Allseeingallknowing · 23/04/2025 18:38

nottheplan · 23/04/2025 17:39

They really aren't 🤑

You’ve tried them then?

Namechangean · 23/04/2025 18:38

Whattodo1610 · 23/04/2025 16:48

We always had the same with our IL’s. It was annoying but I just accepted graciously binned it when appropriate. The sad thing though was when the kids realised it was just cheap shite and felt kind of unloved. I just kept being positive outwardly until they were old enough for me to agree yeh it’s shit 🤷‍♀️

Sorry but that’s on you. Attributing value to the price of a gift and equating that with love. ‘Nans not very good at picking presents but it’s the thought that counts and she loves buying stuff for you so say thank you’. Feeling unloved is outrageous to say when someone has gone through the effort of buying you a gift

MaybelleS · 23/04/2025 18:39

If it was me I'd be grateful that the grandparents thought of the children and bought them things.

Use the cheap eggs to make chocolate nests and having some fun baking with it with the kids to make it a nice treat.
With the toys my guess is that could be all they can afford. Times are tough for everyone at the moment. They might be doing the best they can?
Maybe say that the kids would prefer money or a voucher so they have the fun of choosing something?

QueefQueen80s · 23/04/2025 18:40

LadysSmock · 23/04/2025 17:08

I actually love cheap chocolate! Fancy expensive chocolate sometimes doesn’t suit me. So I’ll have what you don’t want.

Why don’t you suggest ideas to them for gifts? Or tokens, say X is really keen to buy themselves this, could you maybe donate towards it this birthday?

If the kids only play with the toys for half an hour then donate them when they’re done. And donate the cheap chocolate to the food bank.

Whilst I agree that it’s annoying to get crap you don’t want, There are people who would be extremely grateful for the stuff you don’t find good enough.

Edited

I do too. I really love the own brand supermarket ones and even the savers range, they’re creamier somehow

CurlewKate · 23/04/2025 18:40

@Topsyturvy78So they should be greatful for any old shit that breaks quickly because their poor?”

No. But I would be amazed if a £10 toy from a reputable shop is as instantly breakable and shit as the OP is pretending.

Wheech · 23/04/2025 18:42

Absolutely use the chocolate for rice crispy cakes and donate the toys to a charity shop if you must. I've not met children so discerning they refuse supermarket chocolate or don't like toys that are from B&M but if yours are that way so be it.

I read threads like this with such sadness and hope to to god my own son doesn't end up with a woman who treats his family with such contempt as is being shown here. If their worst crime is buying cheap Easter eggs could you not consider embracing them and welcoming their gifts as an expression of their love for your DC? I have the impression from your posts that you see the gifts as an insult and I really don't think that will be the intention.

Blogswife · 23/04/2025 18:43

Give them to charity if they’re not good enough for your own children . I’m sure there will be plenty of children who will appreciate them

WithOnlyTheMemories · 23/04/2025 18:43

I can't believe the OP has cited cadburys or nestle as more acceptable chocolate 😂 I'd take own brand over those brands any day of the week, it is almost certainly going to be better.

Edit: just seen it's Lidl chocolate you're complaining about. FFS.

As for the toys, I don't understand why your kids are breaking them and discarding them within minutes. I don't think we've ever had that experience.

Bookloveruk · 23/04/2025 18:43

Talking about own brand chocolate. My late fil bought us Lidl own brand white chocolate several years ago that was so cheap and a massive slab. We all thought it would go in bin but it’s the most beautiful white chocolate and also comes in a white version with strawberry. I’d have never tried it as I don’t buy large cakes of choc but it was a wonderful surprise. So give it a go with an open mind as you might discover something lovely

Namechangean · 23/04/2025 18:43

anon2022anon · 23/04/2025 17:38

Lidl chocolate is superior to Cadburys nowadays without a doubt, both in taste and in ingredients. And it's not really any cheaper to buy an egg from there either.

Lidl pretzel chocolate is lovely. Quite expensive too!

Spankmeonthebottomwithawomansweekly · 23/04/2025 18:46

Namechangean · 23/04/2025 18:43

Lidl pretzel chocolate is lovely. Quite expensive too!

OP is judgy… or had a common upbringing and just can’t taste things that are really more refined. Poor thing

Wardrobehanger · 23/04/2025 18:47

My kids loved a 2 for 20 quid b&m toy from their grandparents but yes they did break quickly and easily.
My strategy was to politely and apologetically give the toys back when they broke and ask grandparents to take them back to the shop for a replacement or refund. Every time.
Eventually they realised how poor quality they were and began to ask for suggestions for other things they might like and we could steer them towards days out etc.

Whaleandsnail6 · 23/04/2025 18:47

I'm amazed the 2 for £20 b and m toys break after 5 minutes every time your inlaws buy them... not sure what your kids are doing to them. We have had many toys from there over the years and never have any broken. And they have been played with lots and passed on to friends and family

Let your kids enjoy them for as long as they want and then donate them to charity (as long as your kids havent broken them)

As for the chocolate, you now know your kids dont like that brand...remind them of that before they open it. Then either do some baking with it or give it to the food bank

You would be unreasonable to complain to your inlaws and very ungrateful and snobby sounding.

vincettenoir · 23/04/2025 18:53

Maybe you can say the kids need more books or something to give them a steer away from toys.

Maybe the half eaten chocolate is headed for the bin but you can donate the toys once they have been opened.