Cheap chocolate and presents from MIL

[nottheplan]

Mil and dhs family always buy rubbish presents and easter chocolate for our dcs. We're talking rotten own brand chocolate that nobody likes. It just gets chucked in the bin. Also cheap plastic toys from b&m in the 2 for £20 offer for birthdays and Christmas. Always break into pieces and get chucked in the bin. They are most definitely not poor. Wibu to ask them not to buy anymore for our dcs? If I phrase it that they have too much already and were trying to cut down on toys and treats?

Yes thank you. There's no thought put in compared to what my parents buy. Mil especially likes nice things like restaurant or hotel vouchers so I can't understand her reasoning!

You are being massively unreasonable to complain about receiving chocolate. The cheap stuff is often actually better than Cadbury etc.

If you don't want plastic tat then rather than telling people not to buy it, say the DC really want a specific book series.

What child wants hotel vouchers?

Well my DM does stuff like this, and it’s something we love about her - I don’t think it looks like crap to her it looks like good enough fun. We have a good natured family joke about what my mum will give them this time. Why would you accept your kids feeling unloved over some cheap chocolates? Bizarre.

get them to do an eco project and ask granny to ban plastic toys but this is a tiny deal.

I don’t think all the b&m 2 for 20 toys break within weeks do they? DD has a b&m dolls pushchair that’s still going strong after 2 and half years (and it’s been well used!), plus a little plastic kitchen in a carry case that is still one of her favourite things, and likewise a £5 plastic teaset which came from wilko on her first birthday and has been one of the best things we ever got her.

Can you give more specific suggestions for what they would like? Stuff like animal or dinosaur figures for example should be pretty umbreakable, the plastic play food is fairly open ended, or steer them towards craft stuff and things that get used up and you don’t have to keep indefinitely?

Otherwise you can still donate toys or offer on your local Facebook thrift page?

Yeah and there is another thread running now dedicated to inlaw bashing. Why not post on there and everyone will agree with you.

Exactly what "cheap chocolate" are you talking g about? Even the Molly's brand from Tesco is actually nice

I think people are being a bit mean here to the OP. Only the OP knows her in laws. I think this is more of a question around her in-laws being perceived as unnecessarily tight. Not a lack of appreciation of the thought in general.

Some people do treat kids as second class and gift them things they wouldn’t buy for themselves. If it is the a case that they wouldn’t buy supermarket chocolate for themselves selves, then yes they are being mean but there is little you can say about it. You either graciously receive it and then give it away. Or say no thank in advance of further gifts.

Agree - Aldi and Lidl chocolate is better!

This is not your decision. These gifts have been bought for your children from their grandparents. Therefore, it should be up to your children whether these toys are binned or not.

Telling your children that you are binning gifts from their grandparents is just mean, controlling and interfering. Telling your in-laws their gifts are not good enough is just really mean.

Some b&m toys are perfectly fine. Hashy children will break even the most expensive toys

I think that would be a very, very hurtful thing for you to do, OP.

You might prefer it .. but if her dc don’t eat it then it’s clearly not preferable to them.

My god, you and your kids sound like an ungrateful, spoilt bunch.

Op - that’s a bad attitude, not something your children should imitate. You’d have something to moan about if they’d ignored your children.I wouldn’t say two toys for £20 was cheap crap either.

Also, this isn’t a forever issue - they’ll be tweens soon enough and too old for cheap plastic toys. It’s really not worth saying anything over.

I understand. I would rather have nothing than just giving for the sake of giving cheap stuff. It is not hard to ask what the kids would like.

It is a complete waste and just ends up in landfill.

It has nothing to do with your being ungrateful.

Shouldn't your DH be dealing with this? Or is he one of those who leaves it to the women to sort out?

Oh, good. Sorry I read your post incorrectly.

Finding something thoughtless is not a bad attitude,

What kind of chocolate goes in the bin what a waste you could have made rice crispy cakes or something? The buying "cheap toys" that instant break is ask for the receipt you need to return them Imo

@Whattodo1610How old were your children when you told them they realised it was “cheap shite?

I actually love cheap chocolate! Fancy expensive chocolate sometimes doesn’t suit me. So I’ll have what you don’t want.

Why don’t you suggest ideas to them for gifts? Or tokens, say X is really keen to buy themselves this, could you maybe donate towards it this birthday?

If the kids only play with the toys for half an hour then donate them when they’re done. And donate the cheap chocolate to the food bank.

Whilst I agree that it’s annoying to get crap you don’t want, There are people who would be extremely grateful for the stuff you don’t find good enough.

Tell her the toys can stay at her house so the kids can enjoy them falling apart when they visit her.

Why would it be OP's place to decide what constitutes being "unnecessarily" tight though? It's irrelevant how much money they've got, OP doesn't have the right to dictate how they spend it just because she's got kids. It's kind of them to give gifts of toys and chocolate - which, you know, kids like! It's not as if they're being given lampshades and allen keys - and OP has a bad attitude towards these things which she is no doubt passing on to her children. I don't believe for one second that every B&M (or otherwise "cheap") toy breaks after five minutes - my kids have a fair amount of cheap toys that they love - I think they're being treated badly because they're only cheap, so what's the point of looking after them.

I like fancy chocolate but you can't act like cheap chocolate is inedible garbage, makes you sound like a massive twat.

Agree