Cheap chocolate and presents from MIL

[nottheplan]

Mil and dhs family always buy rubbish presents and easter chocolate for our dcs. We're talking rotten own brand chocolate that nobody likes. It just gets chucked in the bin. Also cheap plastic toys from b&m in the 2 for £20 offer for birthdays and Christmas. Always break into pieces and get chucked in the bin. They are most definitely not poor. Wibu to ask them not to buy anymore for our dcs? If I phrase it that they have too much already and were trying to cut down on toys and treats?

Yes I did know it was sarcasm, what made you think I didn't? My comment was to op if that wasn't clear

OP it’s definitely not unreasonable if the things are going to waste. My DD only likes a very few kinds of chocolate (she just doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth and doesn’t like eg. white chocolate or sweets), so if relatives bought her random eggs they’d just go to waste!

What I have found works is to say to relatives, now that the kids are getting a bit older, we want to tone down how much they’re getting at Easter (because: they get too many/consumerism/waste/plastic/they’re eating too many sweet things/not the Easter message, take your pick of reasons), and can we agree to just give them a Lindt bunny/one small egg each?

Or you can say the DC have gone very ecological and have signed an eco-pledge at school not to eat palm oil or buy plastic toys (which my DD’s primary school actually did!) so can they just have a Lindt bunny/M&S small egg each this year? Or whatever chocolate they actually like that is decent. Surely the ILs can run to a bunny or a mini Buttons egg each and that would be cheaper than a toy as well.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable or snobby not to want to eat cheap chocolate - so much of it is just non-milk fats and palm oil now anyway that it’s really unpleasant and bad for you. If your ILs just bought them cheap gummy sweets or Haribo MN posters would be horrified. Cheap palm oil choc is no different.

I can't believe anyone would prefer cadbury's chocolate, which is horrible these days. Maybe train your children to have better palates, OP

Apologies didn’t realise as you tagged CurlewKate 👍

You sound like a massive snob. There's nothing wrong with the quality if own brand chocolate, nor b&m 2 for £20 toys. We've had plenty that have lasted being played with roughly for years.

It sounds like they don't play with the toys or eat the chocolate anyway though!!

My mil used to do this. Drove me mad. But she got a lot of pleasure buying the kids little bits so I bit my tongue, said thank you, and disposed of later.

we found out years later she was being financially abused and bought cheap shit because that’s all she could afford with the “budget” she was given.

So while it seemed an enormous waste of money at the time I’m happy she got some joy out of spending.

@nottheplan What would your MIL do if you asked for specific things for the children?

"James' favourite chocolate is Cadbury's flake, would you mind buying him a flake Easter egg?"

"Oh MIL, in case you're looking for ideas for Ava's birthday, we have created an Amazon wish list. All the things she really wants are on it. Would you mind choosing something off that?"

Yep. Raising another set of entitled arseholes.

'Cheap' chocolate is often better than branded stuff, it's clear your kids aren't eating it because you're telling them it's crap.

To the other commenter who said her kids grew up feeling unloved because of cheap presents, catch a fucking grip, they've only felt that way because you've led them to equate presents with love.

Somewhere on MN there will no doubt be posts complaining about receiving money or clothes that are not to their taste. "It's so impersonal just to give money, no thought involved whatsoever." "Why does my friend/family member insist on giving my children clothes? We don't care for her style and the clothes always end up being donated to a charity shop."

With each post, you sound more and more unreasonable. Just be gracious, say thank you, and accept the gifts. Even if the toys aren't wooden and the chocolate isn't Cadbury. 🙄

BTW I thought everyone on MN hated Cadbury chocolate these days. Did you miss the memo? 😅

I find it hilarious that people are saying it couldn't be inedible, it should be eaten etc
I wouldn't eat chocolate I don't like so why should the children?! Should I force feed it to them just because their GPS gave it to them?!! 😅

Or you could be even more direct and say, "The plastic toys always break. We'd really prefer books instead."

Jesus this is sad. I sometimes for 2 for 20 for mynephews. Theyre growing, their inrerests change, theyre boys so everything is wrecked and lost eventually. Their parents dont care for things or value anything. I bet i get slagged off behind my back too

In fairness to OP, I am no way a snob, or choosy in any way, and myself and my family have been buying the toys 2 for £20 toys from the bargain stores for my DD (stocking fillers for xmas, and she got some for her birthday), but the quality of the toys is the worst I've EVER come across, games have pieces missing so can't be used, or they don't assemble because of how poor the manufacturing standards are, or they do assemble but then don't stand up to being played with in any way (even grown ups carefully testing them), or they break within seconds, they are honestly just not fit for purpose and should not be on sale, out of the 6 things she's had since last year nothing lasted a week, yet she's had toys for years that are still as good today as when they were new!

I would have a respectful word with your in laws and explain how bad the quality of the games are from those places and you feel they are wasting their money as they are ending up being thrown away, but give them some pointers as to what they can get of a monetary value that wouldn't be utter shit.

however YABVVVVU to think 'own brand' chocolate is inferior to cadburys.. I wouldn't expect anyone to fork out for cadbury prices, and Aldi and Lidl chocolate is amazing!

Agree

please can we stop raising kids that don’t appreciate the thought.

It will all go pear shaped when they’re older

Lidl chocolate is infinitely preferable to Cadburys and Nestle with their dubious morals and pumped full of palm oil. You are being totally unreasonable to dump it in the bin, what an appalling waste which is ironic given that you don't like plastic toys and prefer wooden ones. Give it to a food bank if you don't want it.

Absolutely not, they open it , take a bite and leave it there. They DON'T like it. Should I force feed it to them?

I would mention that you are cutting out plastic toys, pass on or bin the chocolate.

How about you compoe a gift list eg Amazon ?
My sister does this so I know I am buying nieces something they want /need.

The chocolate I think you need just to accept (cooking with it is a good idea. Our kids sound fussier than mine - they would bolt down any regardless)

Wow, so you've taught your kids to associate being bought overpriced stuff with being loved. Well done you!! Surely you tell your kids granny and grandad like that chocolate and took the time to go and choose a gift and chocolate for them, and isn't that lovely??

There's plenty of own brand chocolate that's yum and I haven't met a kid yet who won't eat the basic stuff melted into rice crispy cake or in home made brownies.

You sound an epic snob. Half the time 'own brand' stuff is literally produced in the same factory as the branded stuff, just shoved into different packaging.

Cadburys doesn't taste good anymore. I have much preffered non branded eggs and i'm a chocolate snob.

I find it hard to believe your children are so clued up on chocolate.

I mean I do agree OP. I get what you’re saying- im into less is more, good quality of quantity. Maybe you can’t explicitly say but you could what’s app what they like , with the chocolate donate or melt in into cooking chocolate . Presents -message before and say what they want. If not just write it off and try not to let it bother you

Thank you. I disagree on the chocolate though. It's personal taste. The kids don't like it, not because I'm telling them it's not nice. They open it, take a bite and leave it lying around. Then it gets chucked. Doesn't happen with the cadbury or nestle ones.

But everyone has different tastes - just because you think own brand tastes better doesn't mean everyone does?

So have you tried baking with it OP? You are skirting round that suggestion lots, I notice. Heaven forbid your children eat the nasty cheap chocolate without realising it, in a brownie, eh