Cheap chocolate and presents from MIL

[nottheplan]

Mil and dhs family always buy rubbish presents and easter chocolate for our dcs. We're talking rotten own brand chocolate that nobody likes. It just gets chucked in the bin. Also cheap plastic toys from b&m in the 2 for £20 offer for birthdays and Christmas. Always break into pieces and get chucked in the bin. They are most definitely not poor. Wibu to ask them not to buy anymore for our dcs? If I phrase it that they have too much already and were trying to cut down on toys and treats?

Yes YWBU. Just because a gift isn’t what you’d choose doesn’t mean to say you should tell people to stop. They probably enjoy buying the gifts for GC. And do the children genuinely never enjoy the toys? Even for a short time?

Use the chocolate to make a cake or biscuits/muffins to give back as a thank you, donate the other gifts to children that don't get any presents at all, I'm sure they'd be grateful.

Dc play with the toys for half an hour or so and then they are left to one side. Tomatosandwiches - if only we could do that but they want them to open the presents in front of them. Therefore we can't donate. That would be the ideal solution though. I just wish they would give money or vouchers instead. Or something nice to wear. I think my issue is with disposing of the tat.

Not <gasps> cheap chocolate! How very dare they? You should definitely go no contact.

On a serious note, I think it would be fine to say that you are trying to cut back on toys as the children already have enough. But it would have to be phrased tactfully and there is no guarantee that your MIL would abide by your suggestion.

I like fancy chocolate but you can't act like cheap chocolate is inedible garbage, makes you sound like a massive twat. I agree with you on the plastic. Some people who have alot of money still spend like they don't, it's a gift so you don't get to choose what it is

Oh heavens above, your poor children.

(Of course you can donate an opened toy to a charity shop 🤨)

You ungrateful so and so! If it’s not your sort of thing, thank them nicely then donate.

You could tell them you're trying to cut down on plastic stuff for the kids and ask for vouchers so they can choose a book or puzzle instead. I wouldn't be bothered about the cheap chocolate - own brand stuff is perfectly edible and can be donated to your local food bank.

Seems somewhat mean to donate poor quality toys to children who don't get any. They will be understandably upset if the toys break quickly

How ungrateful. Get over yourself.🙄

I'm not saying it's inedible. The kids try it, don't like it and it gets left there. What's wrong with a Cadburys or Nestlé eggs? They are always eaten.

as @PlanetOttersays, you could explain you’re cutting back and perhaps ask them to contribute to a larger gift or put a few quid into their accounts. As for the chocolate, are you telling me your kids can tell the difference?! Who doesn’t like?

Chocolate to a food bank, toys to a charity shop. Then tell MIL what you’ve done with them and hopefully she will get the message.

Honestly, your children sound equally unappreciative and unable to see the value of their things if they constantly break their toys within hours of receiving them. Unless they’re toddlers who don’t know any better, even “cheap” toys can withstand normal play.

This. Teach them to be careful!

Some supermarket chocolate does not contain palm oil- cadburys and nestle do. Maybe consider the ethics?

No, you absolutely cannot tell your MIL you've disposed of her gifts. It would be mean-spirited in the extreme.

You could tell them not to, whether they listen or not, is something else entirely.

MIL asked if we wanted ours to have any chocolate and we’ve said no and we have been listened to. Other families members did gift them some chocolate but we put it in the treat tin at MIL where it will be eaten by nieces and nephews.

Our oldest rarely eats chocolate, middle prefers gummies, youngest is too young, DH likes the occasional wisps , and I’m not keen on chocolate.

We always had the same with our IL’s. It was annoying but I just accepted graciously binned it when appropriate. The sad thing though was when the kids realised it was just cheap shite and felt kind of unloved. I just kept being positive outwardly until they were old enough for me to agree yeh it’s shit 🤷‍♀️

Some children have no toys or food and would highly appreciate that stuff you want to bin , even if you see it as cheap. Throwing it away is incredibly wasteful.

Next visit to ils take the tat and leave it there so dc have something to do next visit....

The ‘then tell her’ comment was tongue in cheek. But the OP has already shown themselves to be mean spirited so not sure that makes much difference.

Just tell them you don’t want cheap things. They’re in-laws, it’s not as though they are real people with feelings that might be hurt or anything.