To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

[userfriendly55]

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

Yes you are. Completely ridiculous. Surprised she even did as she said.

But I don’t understand, why would your friend leave the toilet dirty? It’s period blood- she could flush/wipe. How could one visit to the loo be so life changing? What you were saying to your friend was that she was not capable of cleaning up after herself. No wonder she took offence!

My daughter is another one who is always concerned about her Airbnb reviews, and she's very conscientious about cleaning at the end. But even she wouldn't tell me which toilet I can use or check it out after I've been.

Yes your behaviour was unpleasant and controlling. You sound very boring / OCD about cleaning the ABnB. I expect she is thinking why the hell do I pay to go away with someone who belittles me like this??

Hopefully the replies on here has been a wake up call and will encourage you to be a better friend.

How embarrassing and awkward for your friend. It probably won’t happen again, she’s probably tired of having to subsidise you if you always need the better facilities.
Airbnb includes a hefty cleaning fee. I wouldn’t leave the place in a mess, but I don’t clean on leaving, just like I wouldn’t in a hotel. My rating is fine, never even thought about it as I am respectful of the property.

Interesting.

Sorry, wrong post.

@userfriendly55

Am I reading it correctly - that you had a bedroom and bathroom, and your friend had a sofa bed and just a toilet?
Did she get to use the upstairs bathroom at all - for getting ready/brushing teeth etc?
I think the way to resolve this is to apologise and to recognise that your friend didn’t get £120’s worth - and to gift/offer to compensate.

People quite often ‘agree’ because they are being polite, kind or don’t want to cause a scene. The final straw for her must have been being told she couldn’t use a bathroom in case she left it dirty.

I rather think this is a thread that will run for pges and pages, each telling the OP she is rather selfish, and ridiculously obsessed with lavatory cleaning to the extent she dictates the lavatory usage of friends, yet the responses from OP will ne 'no I'm not', or will stop at page 3...

Sadly, your rating and comfort seems to have been prioritised over your friend’s needs.

Yes

Yes you were rude and intrusive about the toilet thing. Also theres no need to clean Airbnb places, you pay an extra fee for cleaning. Just throw away any rubbish and leave tidy.

1. You pay a cleaning fee to air BnB, they will be cleaning that toilet before the next guest checks in. Even if you leave it tidy and free of shit stains, you don't need to clean it.
2. She would be checking and/ or cleaning any toilet she used, whether it was upstairs or downstairs, either one being left in a state may affect your rating- Airbnb wouldn't care if you said my friend used the mucky one.
3. Even though you agreed you would split, you haven't paid for sole use of upstairs
4. You think your friend has very low standards

You should apologise to her.

The cleaning fee is quite high on air bnbs. I leave the place tidy but no way would I clean it.

YBU

I thought this must be a reverse but from your replies seems not. Your not going to concede on this, even though it's unaminois. Prepare to lose a friend.

I think you're lucky to have a friend who is willing to come with you on breaks.
I wouldn't.

YABVU.

You don't get to tell any adult where to use the loo in rented accommodation that you're just about to leave.

Nothing about what you requested in this interaction was normal.

TBH I have toilets /bathroom that I prefer when I am on my period. I prefer a bathroom as I have slightly more space to put stuff down on clean surfaces etc.

If you were that paranoid that she couldn't use a loo properly after she used it all you needed to say was
'I've just cleaned it, please could you squirt some bleach down there after you've used it'

What has that got to do with your childsplaning your friend?

YABU. That was mean, treating her as if she were going to make the bathroom unclean. I’d have been pissed off.

This.

Also you were just being controlling as both toilets would reflect on your account surely.
The cleaner coming in to make the beds doesn’t know who used which bathroom anyway.

Super weird & controlling. She’s a adult, not a kid and you’ve just treated her like she’s a toddler.

If she was paying half then she had equal rights to use the facilities without your “permission”.
I suspect your request for the sole use of the better sleeping and bathroom facilities was tolerated but the denial of being able to use the upstairs bathroom at the end was the final straw.

Your friend was understanding about your need for your own bedroom and a bathroom. She took the sofa bed - always a gamble in terms of comfort.

You were not only not understanding but positively rude and controlling in return about her need for a bathroom.