Things in-laws do to annoy you.

[Pinkjellyunicorn]

I could write a book I swear.

My in-laws have a different mother tounge. My husband understands all and speaks a little due to moving to UK age 10. My in-laws constantly talk in a different language in my house, whilst sat at my Christmas dinner table, sometimes screaming and shouting at each other in a forgein language. Husband doesn’t let us or DC go there as it’s filthy (and some other reasons but that’s a whole other post) so we are stuck with them here.

AIBU think this is damn right rude?

Please make me feel better with your woes 🤣

My MIL says things silly..like putting a D on the end of words like "matalan" or "declan"
She ommits the "S" when talking about years in the past tense ("it was 5 year ago")
Loads more but I hate to diss her she's a nice person

Breathing

They don’t understand food hygiene at all.

Will make a chicken stew for the week, leave it out on the hob and reheat it everyday for 5/6 days.

Make a lasagne and leave it in the oven, again reheating it everyday. Same with a chicken, or a joint of meat, it will stay in the oven for days until it’s finished.

i don’t even know why they have a fridge.

its fucking grim and they get huffy that me and the children will not eat their food.

All vegetables are boiled for at least an hour.

The heating comes on at 10pm and is on all night, goes off at 6am.

MIL must be involved in all conversations at all times, even if she’s walked in at the end of it.

The other grandchild must be pandered to always, even when behaving badly including deliberately kicking my (much older) DC in the head without any provocation.

My late SM used to say dressing gownd. Only one of many reasons I couldn’t stand her

Surely that's just a regional dialect thing?

Are they still alive and not in hospital with food poisoning? Must be ok then 🤔😂

Just a taster, I have hundreds of examples!

-1 teatowel does it all! Drying plates/cutlery, cleaning muddy dog prints off the floor, drying hands, wiping the worktops down.

-MIL speaks with her mouthful, so bits fly out and you can't understand her
-She seems incapable of pronouncing things correctly (no stroke/impediment etc) 'They had The CoviT',
-I have a food allergy, not life threatening as yet, but its getting worse. I've been told 'Don't worry, I've chopped it up very fine so you won't know it's in there'!
-She asked me to take a quilt and cover to the laundrette near me. When I collected it, the woman said she couldn't get all the blood stains off the quilt. Stumped, I had no idea what she was talking about. Afterwards, I realised it was the quilt MIL had on her bed when her dog was in heat 🤢

My in laws don’t annoy me at all. My parents on the other hand…

Mine are the same in their mother tongue. I fell very excluded.
FIL always pokes his stupid little tongue out like he’s concentrating
He insists on wearing a hat at all times and they both wear coats indoors even in cafe’s restaurants etc
They barely interact with the DC other than to tell them to do something or tell them off
Theure coming on holiday with us next month and I wish they weren’t!

I had a friend many years ago that used to say this!

My father in law would always always turn up at mealtimes. Offered him food, no thanks I'm not hungry. Then sit and watch us eat..... like being in a fricking zoo!!

FIL obsessed with his phone. Will come in the house and immediately sit down (me or MIL make him a coffee) then spends hours looking at his phone while his grandchildren try to talk to him. He will read his emails to us in an important voice or if he does interact with DC he doesn’t do the puzzle they want but shows them YouTube videos instead (both preschoolers).

MIL ignores healthy food - I wanted to give DC a satsuma and she said oh no I don’t think so too messy. And gave toddler a chocolate bar.

Will start long boring conversations where they repeat their awful view on immigrants or poor people. Or trump, or Russia.

Ask probing questions about dh and then slag him off to me. And then slag me off to them, any minor comment I make is used against me.

try to get me to push their views to SIL or DH about things they want but are too scared to say themselves. Eg they don’t want sil to get a dog but they want me to tell her it’s a bad idea.

How very dare they speak a foreign language!

Yes and it’s fucking baffling. Dh tried the same shit when we first moved in together, I put a stop to it immediately.

When visiting, FIL will act like he needs to bow and scrape in my presence. He doesn’t need to do this and it makes me very on edge. It’s farcical and I used to half expect hidden cameras gauging my reaction. I’ve only ever told him to make himself at home.

MIL goes so far the other way that’s also comical - I say make yourself at home, I don’t mean put your feet up
wearing the shoes you’ve just come in wearing on my new sofa.

acting like they are practically related to the king and nobody else knows how to behave properly.

outstaying their welcome (that one’s not exclusive to them to be fair)

ignoring the washing up “system” - we put dirty mugs / spoons etc in the sink whilst waiting to be washed or put in the dishwasher, and use the draining board for, well, draining washed items. They insist on adding dirty cups and spoons to the draining board.

My stbxMIL is rude to restaurant staff, like so rude I got embarrassed about it. And always got her food fixed first when plating up so was finished first and wid leave the table immediately after finishing. Because I'm a slower eater than everyone else, but more so because we had the 2 youngest kids that needed food cut etc. I always ended up sitting alone finishing my cold meal, sometimes they'd moved onto dessert before I'd even finished too. I'm glad not to have to see them anymore tbh

It's rude to converse in a language not everyone understands.

Do you understand why it's rude?

They’re so gossipy, they gossip about anything and everything even if they’ve been told not to share things. His mum and step mum are the worst for it but even the men are like it, every time we see his dad he’s got new gossip and his little bro is more gossipy than my girl friends 😂 I don’t mind BILs gossip so much because it’s always interesting and I’ve learnt more about the family from his gossip than I have from them actually sharing things but sometimes he tells me things and I have to tell him I don’t think he should be sharing that. What pisses me off the most about it all is MIL will constantly slag off his step mum and vice versa, they despise each other, but if there’s gossip to share they suddenly become best friends!

What a silly comment. It’s rude to speak a language other people in your company don’t understand because you are excluding them from the conversation.
My ILs do it when they are visiting us. I speak their first language having lived in their country but my younger dcs don’t. As my DCs have got older they have got sick of it and leave table as soon as possible. I understand what my ILs say but they have a talent of making conversation about people I don’t know so I am still excluded. Dcs and I have learned to strike up alternative conversations of our own at the table.

Yup.

I was brought up monolingual, thanks to my father's friends' wives who objected to a foreign language being spoken in their house. (My mother wanted my father to teach me his language, but he was the last of his friendship group to marry and overly influenced by those who objected to a foreign language being spoken.)

Of my generation, I'm the only one who speaks a bit of the language: I had to learn the hard way, out of books. Such a missed opportunity: I'll never be fully bilingual.

My in-laws are genuinely lovely lovely people but they also say things that get on every tit I have got

Mataland
Duggnells (dunelm)
a-lately
pacifically
Bockle (bottle)
Lickle (little)
’we’ll borrow it you’ instead of lend
’i learned him how’ instead of ‘taught him how’
’he won him at Monopoly instead of he beat him.

and millions more.

when DS was little they straight away started saying ‘Gan-Gan’ instead of Granddad or ‘Choccy-choc’ instead of chocolate. It winds me off the clock!

Also, every Christmas, despite DH & I both DETESTING the stuff, they buy us every single variant of the shit Aldi baileys. I don’t like normal baileys so I definitely don’t want Mint Choc Chip baileys or Christmas Pudding Baileys.

MIL indulges in extreme magic thinking, she thinks that if she believes in something enough it will come true.
For example she tries to force peoples relationships while claiming "they are so close"
She also thinks she can pretend things did/didn't happen by wishing it

Haven't seen mil for 10 years!!
Absolutely nothing to complain about!!

Dirty dishes on the draining board is a new one to me…