Things in-laws do to annoy you.

[Pinkjellyunicorn]

I could write a book I swear.

My in-laws have a different mother tounge. My husband understands all and speaks a little due to moving to UK age 10. My in-laws constantly talk in a different language in my house, whilst sat at my Christmas dinner table, sometimes screaming and shouting at each other in a forgein language. Husband doesn’t let us or DC go there as it’s filthy (and some other reasons but that’s a whole other post) so we are stuck with them here.

AIBU think this is damn right rude?

Please make me feel better with your woes 🤣

Oh god, there’s more like them!

Yup, green bits are just cut off 🤢

She doesnt like me but when greets me (and my SIL who she also doesn't like) she does this weird mmmmmm sex noise in my ear as she hugs me.

Mine can still make tea. But a lot of things he literally can't do, physically and mentally. DH and I are of the opinion that he needs to see a GP because he is extremely injury prone and in poor condition. And confused if you take him out of his home environment.

I think in-laws (FIL, MIL and BIL) would rather stick their heads in the sand than admit there is anything wrong. They should really be thinking about adaptations at home like a stair lift. But they will never listen to DH because they still see him as a child, even though he is 45!

Missing the point. At the table at someone else’s house for christmas is a slightly different situation don’t you think? Most would consider rude if it wasn’t a language shared by all present.

Breathe

A wave of nausea came over me, reading this 🤢

Yeah that needs looking into. My FIL is just a lazy, misogynist arsehole who thinks women are on the earth to serve him (he was 55 when I met dh and was told that he couldn’t even make tea, FFs).

I hope they look into your FIL needs for everyone’s sake.

My PIL always thought their hardworking DSs "keep" us DILs and that we're taking the piss. We must only work our full time jobs for pin money. I was the higher earner for years and somehow managed to ignore the comments. It ramps up when one of us DILs goes away for work reasons and the poor men are left to parent on their own.

They are lucky we have them in the house. I saw a news piece that said grandparents are scared to say no to childcare else they would be cut off- that’s us. Unfortunately my parents have other grandchildren and have to be shared in holidays. There behaviour has been so bad in the past family and friends have told us to cut them off. So yes luckily for them we both work full time and have childcare issues in holidays so they can use our house as a hotel to mess, eat all the food. MIL has actually gone through my wardrobe today and asked if I still fit in a size 10 as she doubts it and she is a size 10 - can she have the items.

When you're in company with other people it's RUDE!

It was 3 years ago this summer - on a super hot day. DH and I still laugh and joke about it now. He is very typical of that I have seen for PHD level educated men in his culture. I am the top and you are all minions. Why he didn’t tell someone about the toilet roll shit on the sink rather than just leaving it there is beyond me.

If they’re such awful people, why would you want them around your children?

That is so obviously not the point the op was making!

Vessel! That is also me. I have a debilitating illness, immune suppressed, a few surgeries a year and have been told not to have any more DC. I’m ok with this. MIL are not. Every time, ‘just try’, ‘it won’t be that bad’, ‘Drs don’t always get it right’
BIL won’t ever have any children, we shall call it ‘addiction issues.’ As they screwed up so badly with one (this son is an embarrassment in their cultural class) it’s now down to me to make up for PIL & BILs failings and provide many grandchildren.

Pork on the radiator. Classic. I knew I wasn’t alone. My MIL doesn’t pack full fridges properly (too lazy to arrange them to make it fit). Few Xmas ago the fridge wouldn’t shut so she left it open. All night. I was furious. And they wonder why they can’t get rid of mice at theirs.

My MIL was a terrible gossip, you couldn't tell her anything personal unless you wanted her friend or her next door neighbour to bring it up when you saw them next.
She used to get the names of things wrong and even when she was corrected, would keep doing it. She always talked about Markor Spencer and about Flamberrrs theme park in Cornwall.
She thought all illness was the same, e.g. Jane's in hospital with a heart attack.
Me- I thought she had pneumonia.
MIL- Well it's the same thing.

I’m a pathetic people pleaser? Told DH they aren’t coming again until birthdays in June.

this is my parents. But the unopened cans of tinned salmon go in the fridge!

Breathe

I guess they'd have to actually acknowledge my existence to annoy me but I'll go for things they did in the past.

Came into my house (DW moved in with me) and completely ignored me, including when I said hello and goodbye.

Said they couldn't attend our wedding as it was too far (4 hour drive) then attended BIL's wedding a year later (10 hour flight).

Forgot DW's birthday each year, but called her on BIL's birthday each year to remind her to contact him and make a fuss of him.

Added me to a family group chat and then ignored me when I sent messages to it. This one was more bemusing than annoying.

DW, in conversation, mentioned that I hated a certain photo of me that was online. I just didn't like my goofy grin in the photo. They had it put on a large canvas and sent it to me as a gift. Again - not annoying, we just laughed at that one.

@ExpatMum41 that poster is well known for being argumentative for the sake of it. It's like she just looks for something to start an argument about. She's also on other SM with the same name and the same MO.
It's a very sad life, goodness knows what causes her to be like that.

Where do I start!?!?

I’ve been vegetarian since my early 20s, longer than I’ve known DH and the ILs, but every singe time we go to them for dinner (about once a month) they not only “forget” but act surprised that I don’t want to eat steak, roast chicken, sausages etc!
Having known them for nearly 20 years I now take my own food with me when we go.

This is awful. May I ask is this because you are LGBT? My cousin in LGBT and attended my wedding with his DP. My MIL said she would be so ashamed if they had LGBT in their family - that fact that BIL is a raging crack cocaine addict, house burglar, petrol station stealing, writes fake letters of huge bail payments needed to fraud family (there is so much more) is completely forgotten

Ugh. She clearly either doesn't understand the gravity of the situation, or she doesn't care about you. Let's be charitable and assume it's the former.

Sorry to hear about your health problems, OP. Some people really do struggle and suffer.

Oh dear. Yup, it's quite sad, really. What a way to spend what little time she has on earth.