cooking for a guest that don’t turn up !

[Cuppa2sugars]

Just miffed that a guest invited to a dinner party didn’t turn up and i’d made a meal that suited her diet needs. Do i take the meal to her ? she’s fussy about food that’s travelled as she’s so ocd.

Fuck no don’t take the food to her! She’s rude enough not to turn up after accepting an invitation, eat the food yourself!

Did you contact her to ask why she didn't turn up? And when you say OCD, do you mean diagnosed with OCD as in she is struggling, or you are using the term to mean fussy?

No, of course you don’t take the food to her, why on Earth would you?!

Did she cancel or did she just not turn up? If she's been in touch what was the reason?

Has she contacted you to apologise or have you contacted her

I certainly wouldn't be delivering the meal to her

No wonder she didn't turn up if she knows you will run after her! What an odd thing to think

she’s just fussy in general. i’m really pissed off with her. she didn’t contact me to say she wasn’t coming. She was going to come with other people but they came without her and explained that she was tired from having family over the previous day., which was a stupid excuse. It’s the second time she’s done this.

because i want to get rid of it.

Well, if you want to be kind and take a meal to someone who couldn’t even be bothered to turn up to your dinner party then that’s up to you. I’d just eat it myself or put it out for the foxes.

thanks for the comments, it’s put my mind at rest a bit. I won’t be taking it to her.

Just eat it. Why didn't she turn up? And what was the meal?

She doesn't seem very invested in the friendship so I wouldn't waste any more effort on her. I'd move on to focus on friends who value your efforts. Good luck.

there’s too much of it for me, it was a quorn dish.

Throw it at her front door. in the trash.

i want to pour it on her head 😂

Freeze - bound to be someone down the line who will happy to eat it

She can't be that fussy if she eats Quorn.

To be fair. I wouldn't have turned up for quorn 😆

no room in the freezer otherwise i would !

Put it in the freezer for next time you invite her over (if you are willing to risk it again).

That way if she doesn’t turn up you can feel a kind of grim satisfaction that you hadn’t had to put any additional effort in.

she likes quorn a lot !

Then she's a CF. I bet she was craving a bit of steak.

I voted for yabu just for the OCD comment alone.

Seems strange you want to ‘get rid’ of the food you cooked but think your OCD friend will want to eat it. You could eat it yourself, put it in the freezer, give it to a neighbour or work colleague. Or put it in the bin. But it sounds as if you want to punish her by taking her the food she didn’t want in the first place.

She probably didn’t come because, as you explained, she has OCD tendencies and didn’t want to be rude about refusing food someone else has kindly cooked especially for her. She just couldn’t face it at the last minute. She was very inconsiderate not to let you know she wasn’t coming but that was a risk you took, having already experienced a no-show from her before.

It’s upsetting to be let down like this and you have been generous to cook for her but I think you have to continue be generous in spirit towards this friend if you like her. Those OCD tendencies around food can be very debilitating once they really take hold. Don’t take the food round, just ask to meet up without the threat of food. It could be really helpful to her to know you are understanding.

I remember my brother telling me he’d be visiting for the weekend with his family. I prepared everything - the house, the menu, prepped everything and he didn’t show. It hurt like hell. I’ve since had minimal contact with him. This was over 10 years ago now.