cooking for a guest that don’t turn up !

[Cuppa2sugars]

Just miffed that a guest invited to a dinner party didn’t turn up and i’d made a meal that suited her diet needs. Do i take the meal to her ? she’s fussy about food that’s travelled as she’s so ocd.

I'd just assume she won't turn up so you're not disappointed.

Did her. Freeze it and serve it up next time and when she doesn’t turn up the. Freeze it again for next time. Rude cow deserves no consideration

And this is a friend you’re talking about?

a close friend if invited for Easter lunch

and yet this is how you talk about her and how she treats you?

weird

I don’t suffer fools gladly. i’ll give friends a chance but i won’t be walked over.

I’d take it to her, and then launch it at the front of her house. Rude twat.

But you say that this is an ongoing pattern

and yet still she was invited to spend Easter with you

and once again….

You need her to keep you company?

is there no one else in your life at all who will go with you op?

I can go on my own, I don’t need anyone to come with me. I’ll tell her not to bother shall I ?

Well if she’s not keen, why not suggest she sit it out and you go with someone else?

or is she actually wanting to go?

Tbh it sounds like that would be in both your best interests

she does want to go.

You didn’t exactly give the impression she did They are coming to keep me company ! i’m wondering if miss ‘can’t be bothered’ won’t bother to turn up !

Fingers crossed OP although if she’s doesn’t… you’ll at least have another mumsnet thread about it!

she just wants an outing.

So she should turn up

But given what you’ve said in this thread, I wouldn’t put money on it!

Ah so she isn't diagnosed with OCD and you're throwing around a diagnosis as a way to describe her "fussiness".

Please don't do that. Genuine sufferers of OCD, like myself, don't find it cute or funny. It's debilitating at times and awful to live with. People throw it around like it's nothing meaning those that actually suffer either don't get the help or just get people rolling their eyes and saying "ok then" because everyone claims to have OCD because they like things a certain way. That isn't OCD.

I realise that's not the point of the thread but still.

Should have continued reading so apologies for commenting before doing so, it's just a sore subject!

Anyway, definitely don't be inviting her again and if she asks why tell her she messed you about twice.

And had she ever asked YOU for help in the past, which you had given, perchance,?

Some people are total users.

Why are you continuing to bother with her, in all honesty? Is it because she's friends with your mutual friends and you fear that if you stop talking to her your other friends will in turn stop speaking to you? Chances are, they most likely won't. This isn't secondary school.

We're grownups, OP. We have less time and energy for people who aren't TRULY our friends, OP, nor for those who don't invest a similar amount of energy in our friendships as we do, and most definitely not for those who continually let us down and don't have our backs when we need them to.

I'd view your friendship the same way you must view that quorn dish you (probably very pissed-off-edly) binned: something you've been forced to throw away because, despite the high amount of work you put into it, it's just not appreciated by the one it was supposed to benefit.

Sure, perhaps you may have to see her in future, because of your mutual friends, but if I were you I'd view her as an acquaintance now and be polite but distant when you are thrown together, not a friend. It really doesn't sound like she is one, anyhow.

bin the food, and whilst I’d invite her in future I’d just serve her the same as other guests and she can leave the bits she doesn’t like. I wouldn’t go to the trouble or expense of making her something particular again.

OP wants the company of the friend for an event the op is going to!

I'm unsure what you're point is, sorry.

OP said "they", so it's unclear if she's supposed to be being accompanied by this particular friend alone or with this one plus their mutual friend, though I've interpreted it as the former.

Strikes me as being two people who don’t have any other “friends” to speak of aside from each other; treat each other like crap; but dependent on one another for company

Take it to her. It makes a point. Cooked especially and you did t turn up.
leave it on the doorstep

Then you contact her and tell her you're pissed off with her. Say that's the 2nd time she's done that when you've went to the trouble of making her food for her dietary requirements.