cooking for a guest that don’t turn up !

[Cuppa2sugars]

Just miffed that a guest invited to a dinner party didn’t turn up and i’d made a meal that suited her diet needs. Do i take the meal to her ? she’s fussy about food that’s travelled as she’s so ocd.

Definitely frustrating. Maybe it is fatigue or her MH issues got the best of her. Next time she's invited ask her to bring a main for herself and you'll have veggie sides prepared she and everyone can eat. If she doesn't show you won't have wasted anything.

In terms of what’s happened here, has your friend contacted you? You say this is the second time? Is this usual behaviour for her or has she recently become unreliable?

Put it in the fridge and have it yourself .
It will keep in the fridge for a couple of days

or leave out for the fox and yes they do eat quorn.

So she sent an apology with other people. She didn’t just ‘not turn up’. If you think she is ‘picky’ and ‘ocd’ has it occurred to you that she might be struggling? If she is your friend why is your first instinct to be annoyed and not concerned?

Extremely rude. I’d not make any effort with her in future and if she asks why, I’d be honest - you’ve let me down twice now without any notice.

Put it in the bin, take a photo and send the pic to her with a middle finger emoji. What a waste of time. Why did she send her friends to do the dirty work, did she lose the ability to call/text? Make that your last invitation.

my partner invited a colleague and her family (husband and two kids) to ours for lunch, I cooked for all of them and only the colleague showed up, with a vague "oh yes I probably should have mentioned the others weren't coming" by way of acknowledgement as the three of us sat down in front of a mountain of food.

Or equally she could just be flaky and selfish.

OP you could go round and see her as 'you're concerned she's struggling' but if this doesn't seem to be the case, either just don't invite her again, or if you do, either serve food to everyone that she can eat (vegetarian? so just do a tapas/mezze/Mexican/Indian/whatever selection of bread, salad, sides, a pulses dish and some appropriately marinated chicken for the inevitable 'if there's no meat it's not a meal' people or ask her to bring her own food if she does turn up so you're not cooking food that will be wasted.

I also vote for putting it in the freezer for next time haha

Oooh burn.
”Enjoy everybody! And here’s your quorn from last time, Sheila. I froze it for you.”
lol

I like wuorn I’ll eat it op!

it was rude of hee not to contact you directly, and yes in your place I would be cross. No more invitations for her. Maybe there has been a falling out and she is too upset to come. Maybe wait and see what she says today op.

She is so ocd? OCD is a disorder, it is not an adjective. It does not mean being fussy.
Yabu for not knowing that.

I would freeze the meal.

Next time this particular friend is due to dine with you, thaw out the meal in the microwave once she has arrived. Leave it in the freezer until you're certain of her attendance.

Don't worry your mind about the friend. Great that you have now a meal cooked for her special diet for next time.

That is very rude. Don't invite her again: she has no respect for you

That is so rude, especially when you know someone is cooking a meal especially for you. I wouldn’t invite her again ever, and wouldn’t consider delivering.

Next time?! There wouldn’t be a next time after someone’s been this rude.

Stop inviting her. Why do you do it?

That would be the last time I cooked or invited her to come over.

I think all you can do is learn from this and not invite again if she keeps flaking.

Second time she’s done it so she wouldn’t be getting a third invite.

Yes really annoying, particularly the lack of notice/apology.

has it occurred to you that she might be struggling? If she is your friend why is your first instinct to be annoyed and not concerned? I hate these sort of comments. Has it not occurred to the rude selfish guest that OP might be struggling?

Just don't bother again. She'll probably be all hurt and offended over not being invited but tough shit. Why should you pander to someone who can't even afford you the courtesy of a phone call or even a text?

Well don't let there be a third time!!!

That’s very rude. Sending a message via other friends is not adequate. And MH can’t be an excuse for everything - OCD, either real or a clumsy figure of speech by the OP, does not stop someone phoning and apologising (or indeed planning better and saying no to dinner at the first place if social contact is so exhausting).

The problem is the other guests explained she wasn't coming when they arrived, so OP had already cooked for her.
I understand OP being vexed as it's not the first time it's happened.

Maybe friend is struggling & is genuinely wiped out after a day with her family, but it wouldn't have taken much effort to text OP a few hours in advance and say 'sorry, can't come for meal'. Then OP wouldn't have wasted time & effort preparing food she didn't need for anyone else, and doesn't have freezer space to save.

What an arse. Sorry to hear that.