cooking for a guest that don’t turn up !

[Cuppa2sugars]

Just miffed that a guest invited to a dinner party didn’t turn up and i’d made a meal that suited her diet needs. Do i take the meal to her ? she’s fussy about food that’s travelled as she’s so ocd.

won't be invited again.

Absent guest is maybe/probably hoping for this outcome.

Why? They could just decline the invitation in the first place.

Can you freeze it? Then tell her to come and pick it up when she likes? I wouldn't travel to her with it, not a chance! Unless she actually apologised profusely and said how much she was 'looking forward to your gorgeous cooking, can you bring it round and I'll get the champagne in?'

Alternatively the OP could freeze it, and then if she is ever daft enough to invite the woman for dinner again she could ostentatiously defrost it and serve it looking like unappetising defrosted slop whilst the rest of her guests eat delicious freshly cooked food, saying, "I saved this from when you cancelled without warning last time. Waste not want not!"

I would make room in the freezer for the next time.

I don't know why you're inviting her if she doesn't turn up. Just don't next time. Or invite her and tell her to eat first as she's flakey.

Haha, yeah, that's a better plan on balance! 🤣

Don't invite her again. Once is bad enough, but can be forgiven; twice is taking the piss.

Just miffed that a guest invited to a dinner party didn’t turn up and i’d made a meal that suited her diet needs

Phew....for a minute there I was wondering if you'd borrowed money from her DH....and only just paid it back.

No worries different thread.

What MH issues? OP said she used the term OCD when she actually meant fussy.

Which is not OCD.

Well you will know for next time, when you will of course put the empty dish in front of her containing a slice of bread and ask if she wants ketchup with it!

Or a plate of corn. “ It’s corn dear, what you asked for. Quorn? No, sorry, don’t know what that is. Really? Is that a thing?”

Someone did this to us over 30 years ago.

Had a 6 month old baby but still made home made pasta, starter and a dessert. He and his new partner just didn’t turn up.

I was sent flowers and an apology 2 days later. They went in the bin.

Never spoke to him again.

I'd be contacting her telling her how rude she is for not telling you she wasn't coming.

Don’t invite her again and if she goes to you tell her to bring her own food . I hate rude people

@TheOriginalEmuyou don’t send an apology with other people! If you can’t make it (and being tired is a pathetic excuse) you call and apologise as soon as you realise you can’t make it, especially as you know they will have made a separate dish for you.
OP if she’s done this twice then I wouldn’t invite her again. I used to include a friend of a friend at my dinner parties on request from my friend as ‘she doesn’t have many female friends’. Well I figured out why - she was happy to come and eat my food when it suited her but on a couple occasions did not come (after accepting) and never invited me to hers.

thanks everyone, apologies for misinterrpreting OCD. As i can’t throw anything out of the freezer to make room Food is in the bin now. i’ll be seeing her this week with the friend who should’ve brought her, as we all hang out together. She agrees with me about being miffed about the incident. I’ll be making it clear how i feel and i expect a decent excuse and apology, otherwise I won’t invite her ever again !

I’d love to know your relationship with her OP?!

she’s a good friend, but becoming less so ! we get on well, but she can really hack me off. She’s the kind that says ‘she’ll do anything for you’ but in practice she won’t. it’s a complicated relationship 😂

Classic mumsnet friendship actually

ie not really a good friendship in any shape or form

Ah yes, I used to have a friend like that. The one and only time I asked for help, she turned me down (after having said “is there anything I can do?”

Why would you take the food to her? Just write it off and don’t invite her again

OP, don't be a mug.

This is your opportunity to not show up, and send a message saying, "Sorry I'm not coming because I can't be arsed. But at least you haven't gone to the trouble of cooking me a special meal, eh?"

i want to turn up to kick her arse 😂

You have to not turn up if you want to kick her arse.

Continuing to socialise with her teaches her that it's OK to behave like this.

but we are going somewhere that i need to go to. They are coming to keep me company ! i’m wondering if miss ‘can’t be bothered’ won’t bother to turn up !

I think the chances are quite high.

Why do you need them to keep you company?