Does anyone else not send their children to grandparents for sleepovers?

[nosleepoverss]

My child is 3 years old and he has never had a sleepover. Both sets of grandparents have asked about it and I just don’t see any need for it. We co-sleep, he still breastfeeds to sleep most nights and I don’t want him to sleep anywhere else/away from us and I see no reason why he should 🤷‍♀️ Surely I’m not the only one? 😂 I imagine he will be asking for sleepovers in a few years time but right now I just see any need for it?

I never did with my dd. My parents didn’t want the sleepover and my dd never asked for it. I’m fairly sure it’s not negatively impacted her. She has a really good relationship with my Dad (my Mum died a few years ago).

2 year old goes to one or other of her grandparents once a week at the moment. Id say it was once a month from 3 months old to 18 months old and then became once a week.

I have a 2.5 year old and I see no need. When he's old enough to want to go then he can go.

Mine are adults now, but it never happened when they were younger.

Parents and in laws too old, couldn’t cope, didn’t offer, too far away.

I have little grandsons. DGS8 is an only child, parents split long ago, he lives 10 miles away and very often sleeps over on a school night if his mum has an early work commitment. The others, 2 and nearly 4, live much further away and I see them a lot less, but they’ve had the odd night here. We have a four night stay soon… it’ll be fine, just the dogs won’t get their usual miles walked!

I'm a parent of young adults now and wished I'd done it more to help build their relationship. I didn't want to burden anyone but really both sides would have enjoyed it so I should have encouraged it.

It is possible for grandkids to have a loving & close relationship with grandparents without sleepovers! I find it odd that some people think kids are somehow missing out.

My DCs see my mum and dad every week. They have a lovely bond, we go out for days out, my mum and dd do craft stuff together, my dad plays football with them both, they bake, do gardening together, they also see their other grandparents regularly too and have a great relationship with them. We are very fortunate.
My mum is one of my dds favourite people and guess what? She’s never slept over! She’s only 5.

A 3 year old child - that’s still very young.

My ds is 2 and I’m still breastfeeding, I wouldn’t want to be apart from him at night either.

Do what you feel comfortable with, op.

Also, ignore the ridiculous comments about breastfeeding your child at 3. Breastfeeding to 2 years and beyond is recommended by The WHO.
I find it crazy that some people are saying it’s not normal, you do realise what breasts are for, right?

What is wrong with that?? Not very sisterly of you.

I'm a Granny. I've had my dgs every so often since he was 7 months old when my DD was so exhausted from his constant night waking that she was desperate enough to hand him over !
Since then he sleeps over every month or so ..always at his request. DD gets a decent night's sleep and I get to sleep with the little octopus as he always wants to be in with me. I never expected or requested it, but I do love it.
But then I've looked after him several days a week since he was 8 months old and my home is his second home (and my house is like a a branch of Smiths Toys plus library!)
I think it depends entirely on how close the relationship is between your children and their GP and everyone's personalities! DD has recently had no 2, and I shall be childcare for dgd too, but it will be entirely up to them whether she wants to stay over or not.
My own four didn't ever sleep over at MILs or my own Mum's as they didn't have such a close relationship due to distance.

It's normal, it's natural. Even in this day and age lots of Western children are breastfed past 4. You sound really ignorant and ????? seems judgemental too.

Mine never did.

They're in their 20s now so probably never will!

Wouldn’t you normally rest your case if a statement was obvious? I really don’t get the relevance of chapatis.

Why not?

What is completely unnecessary is you being shitty to other Mothers who are doing their best for their child. The child gets comfort from it, it contains antibodies. My 2 year old is seldom I'll. Why do you think kids have milk teeth? Stop being a dickhead.

I think the first for my DS was age 4.
Only one set of grandparents as the other wouldn't be up to it.

He really enjoyed it, and now does it maybe once every 2 months. I think he feels quite brave and independent.

Oh and he was BF until 2.5, I only stopped then as we were TTC. That first comment you got has pissed me off 😂 !

My almost 4 year old has never stayed at anyone's house or had anyone watch him overnight. My choice.

You sound very certain. I'm wondering what you're basing this on?

My parents are elderly with health complications, so it’s never been a possibility or offered. so aside from a school residential earlier this year (yr 6 now) every night has been with me. Just do what is right for you and yours. Xx

To the person who made the first comment: I breastfed one of my children at three years old.

We didn't do sleepovers till 8 as the grandparents aren't great at listening to us or basic child safety. At 8 they could look after their own safety quite well. I would have loved to do it a bit earlier, they had been elsewhere overnight to places I had confidence in.

I always disagree when people say it’s good for kids to get used to it or it’s needed for a good relationship with grandparents. Appreciate others may disagree with me there, we are all different.
I don’t like the idea of kids needing to ‘get used to’ things. My twins (2 year old) have an amazing relationship with my mum and have never had a sleepover yet. They are none verbal but have the BIGGEST smiles when she walks in.

they’ll be having their first one soon when I go to a wedding, and I have no worries about it, and they haven’t needed to ‘get used to it’ from a younger age, they love spending time with her and I know they’ll be fine, I’ll find it hard but they won’t.

Mine were born early and in Nicu for a long time and I’ve never been ready to leave them overnight since and if it wasn’t for this wedding I wouldn’t leave them and I probably won’t after until the next time I need to, they absolutely love my mum and they have a beautiful relationship without sleepovers.

I think it’s so so variable. One of my twins would be absolutely fine if I went away for a weekend but the other would struggle, they’re just different personalities. Mine both have CP so do have additional needs.

I do disagree that it’s needed for a good relationship with grandparents and I do feel people only say that when they perhaps have a pushy grandparent or have other reasons that they need the space from their kids, because of course a break is nice and all kids are different! It’s nice it’s just not paramount.

do what you are all comfortable with. For some this is sleepovers from birth, for others this is never. I’m not sure why people judge when it’s not their kids.

Do what works for you.

There are certainly benefits, and it's not abnormal... I'd say that the only downside to extended breastfeeding is having to face judgement from others who aren't educated about the facts and/or who don't accept that everyone parents differently and according to their own situation/child.

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/extended-breastfeeding

The longest I've breastfed so far is until age 2.5, but I was prepared to breastfeed for longer... I have a friend who stopped when her daughter was at school in reception/age 5 (for the poster who said that breastfeeding should stop before school... there's usually no need to worry as at that age it's usually just a bed time/at home comfort thing... my friends daughter had no issues. I've never mentioned it to my son, but if I had mentioned it at the time, I bet he'd have been completely unaware that his classmate breastfed).

I’ve never sent mine (3) and I never will.

Would be nice to have the option to be honest.

Mine has stayed since age one. First time was when both parents got covid and by coming to me she avoided it. Usually two separate nights a month. Child, parents and I all enjoy it and benefit. Would offer same for any other dgc that come along. You have to be on the same wave length though. I respect parents rules and they trust me. They never specify anything unduly. We are in broad agreement on child issues and if in doubt I check. Ultimately, their child, their rules.