Does anyone else not send their children to grandparents for sleepovers?

[nosleepoverss]

My child is 3 years old and he has never had a sleepover. Both sets of grandparents have asked about it and I just don’t see any need for it. We co-sleep, he still breastfeeds to sleep most nights and I don’t want him to sleep anywhere else/away from us and I see no reason why he should 🤷‍♀️ Surely I’m not the only one? 😂 I imagine he will be asking for sleepovers in a few years time but right now I just see any need for it?

My parents occasionally stayed at ours if we were away for a night.
They never stayed at my parents though and MIL wouldn’t have wanted them so no we didn’t do that.
Not deliberately, just no need

3 would be too young anyway imo.

We always sent mine and they loved going to grandparents house

That’s hardly evidence unless you can give the references of every statement. In reality, the only statement on that list that needs to be said is the final one. Although some people might argue that continuing to nurse a child who is able to fulfil all their nutritional needs from a balanced diet is more about giving the child comfort. Nothing wrong with that.

My DS stayed with my parents a few times because I had to travel for work (single parent) but they never asked to do it for fun! My DS did enjoy staying with them.

And I breastfed till age 3 too! It's really not that strange, if the baby doesn't want to stop, and it's ok with the mother, then why stop in case people think it's weird?

My definition of a sleepover would be that it's when a friend invites you to stay over night. Sleeping at grandparents house so that your parent(s) can have quality time or because the grandparents are wanting to have DC overnight is completely different. As it goes, DH often works away so DC and I stayed with GPs at weekends sometimes. We started doing this at around 8 months when DC big enough for travel cot

DD breastfed until 4.5. That is perfectly normal.

To answer the OP's question. We still haven't and she is 7. Both sets of grandparents were abroad until my mum moved back last year so it wasn't possible. Mum lived with us for nearly 9 months while she found a house and bought it. Then she moved in just down to us. However she is only back because she is in her 80s now and in poor health. So I wouldn't send DD there any more. Not even for an hour in the afternoon. She didn't babysit while she was staying with us either.

Our 2 have had sleepovers in both sets of grandparents houses, including our 5 month old. Each time has been because we've been at something or having a night out so not sure if that is the same as a sleepover just for the fun of it.

Apparently, the World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding for the first 2 years of life (but anything past 1 year is considered extended breastfeeding).

Just weighing in on the breastfeeding debate (which shouldn't remotely be a debate) - please do not listen to the uninformed on this thread and do continue to breastfeed for as long as you and your child want to. It is the most natural thing in the world. I'm actually quite horrified by some of the comments on this thread.

As for the sleepovers - again, it's completely up to you! My 3 year old never has. Sadly my own mother died a few years before DC was born. My father and stepmother probably aren't an option as they're older and I'm not sure they'd manage. My MIL would absolutely love sleepovers without me there I'm sure (given that she wants/expects my child to go and live with her) but she lives several hours away, our relationship is quite strained and for several reasons the trust just isn't really there. So, I don't really envision sleepovers happening any time soon! To offer some balance, I am not sure I ever slept over at any grandparents without my parents... Maybe once or twice over my entire childhood?? And I don't think I'm particularly worse off for it. I don't think it's actually paramount for a good relationship.

Both my kids (13 and 6) have regularly slept over at MILs since they were 1, they sleep over at least once a month, sometimes twice (either 1 night at the beginning of the month and one night towards the end of the month, or two nights in a row), they’ve even gone on holiday a few times. Love our kids to bits but it is nice for us all to have a break from each other sometimes.

I don’t judge anyone who doesn’t want for their kids to sleep away from home, what works for some doesn’t work for all!

I co-slept with my baby, it felt the most natural thing for me, to be close and keep him safe and fed, and to be able to comfort him when he woke up. It's what parents have done for millennia.

I don't understand parents who put 6 month olds to sleep in a room by themselves.

You are very lucky. My eldest is now 16 and only slept over a handful id times when she was around 5/6 years old. Our youngest now 11 only one sleep over.
The GP’s have never asked to have them and don't seem that keen - they are well behaved kids also so its not that they can't cope with them. Its taken a toll on our relationship tbh - we wont be available when the GP’s need us in their later years.

There needs to be a ‘Twat’ emoji

@Brenna24 "DD breastfed until 4.5. That is perfectly normal."
It is normal, but it's certainly not common in the UK, where 80% of new mums breastfeed but only 0.5% are still breastfeeding at one year.

Hey OP, I’m the same co sleep and breastfeed my nearly 3 yr old. Nope he’s never spent the night without me, and that’s fine with me. TBH I can’t see
him ever sleeping over at grandparents, friends houses more likely when probably 9/10. I don’t think it’s weird at all. You just do what’s right for you xxx

I’m a grandparent of one 7 month old, and have her overnight one Saturday each month to give my dd and her partner a break - they go for night our. Only because I understand how important it is for a couple to have one on one time with each other occasionally. I never had that option with mine.

Breastfeeding a 3 year is scary? How???

My DS at 3 fed at night and if he was sick, it was for comfort, but I saw being able to comfort my sick child as a good thing!

Did you ever breastfeed?

I wouldn’t trust either of my parents alone looking after DC for as long as an hour (mother is crazy/narc/infirm elderly and neglected me as a child, dad & his wife have no idea about children) and DP’s parents are overseas. Not everyone has the typical loving competent grandparents!

Some of the comments on this thread re breastfeeding are absolutely awful!

Well done OP for breastfeeding for 3 years. A completely normal and natural thing to do considering the natural weaning age for children is considered to be approx age 2-7.

You aren't alone feeding your 3 year old, I know many who have breastfed to this age and beyond. I even know a fair few adults who were breastfed beyond infancy who are normal and functioning members of society, despite some of the ridiculous comments on this thread claiming otherwise!

My own three year old is still breastfeeding including at night along with my younger tandem nursling. Both still cosleeping. Eldest is weaned now but still needs comfort at night from me. Both eldest and middle survived their only sleepover to date with grandparents when baby 3 was born.

We are lucky to have plenty of help from grandparents during the day and don't feel it's fair to ask them to have them at night unless needed and they haven't offered.

You do you, there is no rush to have sleepovers if you're not feeling that it will be a good idea yet.

Good grief! Did the kids open up about it? Mine hated going perhaps because they hadn't been until
Older 7 and 12. I always felt like it was a burden for the GP’s, they are very local but have no relationship as such with them.

That's lovely!
I will be the same with my own GC when the time comes. Our DC never had the option as the GP’s were never Interested in little people. They are all over the adult GC from a sibling, I just don't get it!? 🤷‍♀️

I breastfed till 3. We didn’t do grandparent sleepovers till later - but it was also lockdown for a while so there was nowhere to go for a long period of the time where we might have been ready.

They love grandparent sleepovers and they’re a joy so I am very glad we do them now. Usually for child free weddings though tbh. Everyone does appreciate and enjoy them but there was a long time I wasn’t ready and it’s totally okay not to be. 3 is so small. some people need the break. It’s fine either way.

DGC has had plenty of sleepovers, was here last night in fact. They are very comfortable staying with us and we enjoy having them here

I always love how people who dislike you disagreeing with their personal (albeit weird) choices always clap back with "educate yourself". What a faux superior and lazy response!

Don’t be mad, extended breastfeeding is a thing you know.