Does anyone else not send their children to grandparents for sleepovers?

[nosleepoverss]

My child is 3 years old and he has never had a sleepover. Both sets of grandparents have asked about it and I just don’t see any need for it. We co-sleep, he still breastfeeds to sleep most nights and I don’t want him to sleep anywhere else/away from us and I see no reason why he should 🤷‍♀️ Surely I’m not the only one? 😂 I imagine he will be asking for sleepovers in a few years time but right now I just see any need for it?

… And?? It’s totally normal, natural and so healthy for mother and child. Well done to the OP I say.

Another simple one. Your child, your choice.

I think it's fine to wait until he's a bit older if that's what you're comfortable with. Mine loved sleepovers with their Grandparents and my parents and PIL loved having them. I also used to stay with both my Grannies and my Auntie/Godmother in the holidays and loved it. I remember it as special times with them, it's lovely to have those memories.

Mine did once they were in Primary school, I enjoyed staying at my grandparent’s as a child and I also was keen for them to be comfortable about staying overnight away from home in case of emergencies, sleepovers or school trips. I’d say it was a two or three times a year, I stayed over with them the first few times.

I was never comfortable with it no.

Mine did at 14 months because i was on my own and all but demented from lack of sleep, off they went and off I went to bed and slept for 12 solid hours. I also totally trusted my mum who was the most loving and devoted grandparent a child could want.

The NHS and the AAP also recommend two and beyond. They share the same guidelines as WHO.

Take your ignorance elsewhere. Not your breasts, not your business.

I love all the people confidently declaring what is and isn't "normal", as if they're some kind of authority 😂
DS breastfed until 4 and a bit, just for a few minutes before going to sleep. Of course he didn't 'need' it at that point, any more than I 'need' a cup of tea at the end of the day. But I don't begrudge myself one, and I didn't begrudge him a breastfeed either. He's 5.5 now. DD is 2.5 and still breastfeeds on demand.
Neither has been for a sleepover with grandparents. They see both sets of grandparents at least once a week and have a lovely relationship with them. One day they might sleep over if they decide they want to, but I don't see what the hurry is 🤷🏼‍♀️

breastfeeding at 4 and 5 is absolutely unhinged.

setting your kid up for being picked on if at school, parents will look down their nose at you as its very weird frankly.

in regards to the OPs question - nothing wrong with not wanting to let your child have sleepovers until older but ffs drop the breast feeding at 3

My in-laws have never asked, in fact my MIL made a point of saying how she "never left" her children (apart from the all day nanny from 6 wks LOL) and how she'd never take them overnight as they would be upset.
My father has dementia and my mother dead many years so no sleepovers there either.
Honestly though I don't get the whole thing, or see the need for it. I never slept over with my GPs when I was little, nor do I remember any of my friends doing so.

My DC hasn’t because he doesn’t want to. He has ana amazing relationship with his grandparents but doesn’t want to sleep
away from me and his dad yet.

I never had sleepovers at my grandparents houses without my parents (they lived hundreds of miles away in opposite directions) and I had an amazing relationships with all of them right through adulthood. People are obsessed with sleepovers but it doesn’t make or break a relationship. If kiddo isnt ready then they don’t go. When it’s right for you, you’ll know. X

The NHS also recommends chapatis for weaning. I rest my case.

YANBU to not do sleepovers, especially if you still breastfeed and co-sleep. But you are also NBU if you decide no sleep overs for any reason, especially a pre schooler.

Also 3 is not weird to still breastfeed whoever that ignorant first poster was. 🙄

Parents set the pace, we did our first sleep over around 3, I was nervous but DC really enjoyed it even though DM is getting on in her late 70s and is on her own. We've had a handful of sleepovers since, which we've really appreciated when we needed a babysitter to go "out out" 😁

The ignorance in your statement is wild. I am not breastfeeding an older child but you’d be surprised how many people are. They don’t discuss it because of idiots like you, but once you get digging you realise lots are doing it. The kids aren’t picked on at school because five year olds don’t give a fuck about that sort of thing and the parents don’t look down their noses because a) most aren’t ignorant wankers and b) half the time they have no idea.

You live in your own ignorant and judgemental little world.

We never have. My eldest is 3.5y, doesn’t co sleep and certainly isn’t still breastfed (he was a bit of a biter around 10 months so that was that!!), but I still just don’t feel the need. He’s actually going for his very first sleepover with my mum next month while we’re at a wedding (with his 6 week old sister, so she’s not overly relevant to this discussion!) and I’m actually dreading it. I don’t feel like I want him away from home which is a bit weird for me maybe as I’m usually big on him being confident and, as much as a three year old can be, independent 😅 I think my MIL and FIL are a bit disappointed as they’ve been saying about a sleepover at theirs for a while, but they’re at the wedding with us! I don’t expect I’ll be rushing to do it again but you never know. I have friends whose kids stay away every other week and they seem to love it but I can’t really imagine I’d enjoy that.

I don’t know what you’re talking about but this is not a proper response to what I said.

Your ‘case’ is baseless, ignorant, arrogant, ignorant and misinformed. Keep your nose out of other women’s breasts, the fact you’re sexualising breastfeeding small children is very concerning. And don’t say you aren’t because you are, relating breasts to sex is why you have issues and it is very much your issue.

I still breastfeed my just turned 3 year old and I’m pretty sure I’m a normal parent. It’s natural. Why are you so judgmental about it, that doesn’t seem normal to me!

It’s her child and her choice. It is not ‘unhinged’. Wow. How rude are you.

Lots of things aren't "necessary " but people like to do them. Holidays aren't necessary, chocolate isn't necessary, jewellery isn't necessary, but people like these things and enjoy having them.

I absolutely loved staying at my grans as a child. I have such lovely memories of tomato sandwiches for supper, watching Morecambe and Wise on TV, and the cosy, forget-me-not blue feather quilt on my bed. I loved my gran so much and she loved us.

Now my own granddaughter sleeps over occasionally (they all lived with us for a couple of stretches during covid) and we have such fun. It's good for mum and dad to have time just the 2 of them, and useful for if they need to stay away, as they are later this year for a child-free wedding. We are home from home, and I hope that my grandchildren (there's a tiny baby now too) will look back on their sleepovers with the same warm memories I have of my precious time with my gran.

Mine did now and then but only when we were away. I always found I was greedy for time with my DC. I worked and really enjoyed the slower pace of weekends

Do you realise that the main alternative is another animal/completely different species breastmilk?

It makes me sad that we’ve got so far removed from nature that we’re judging extended breastfeeding and so many people still aren’t aware of the long list of benefits in doing that 😩

(Not judging/commenting on the overnight thing as I think everyone’s family situation is wildly different).

No mt “kids” are 18 and 19 and have never stayed at Grandparents or anywhere else really. No problems with Grandparents they’ve just never wanted to and there’s never been a need.

If you were still breastfeeding a 3 year old you'd know the OP is not doing it for themselves!

There are still benefits to BF, they don't just disappear. My 3.5 yr old is confident and increasingly independent in many ways and is still breastfed and bed shares.

He hasn't had a sleepover away from home but managed okay when I was in hospital having his baby sister a year ago (my mum stayed at our house and my partner went home to help with overnights).

Do what feels right for you, there's no rush or need to have sleepovers if you and your children don't want them.

Ignore all the people saying it's weird you are still BF, it isn't, it is just in the UK bf rates are so low people don't see it or assume no one is doing it as they don't personally know someone breastfeeding.

My 2 year old is currently on a sleepover at grandparents! We don’t do it often but he’s done a couple of overnights and some slightly longer 3 night breaks since he was around 5 months and all involved very happy with it! Tonight it’s because we were round there for a roast and they have him tomorrow anyway so saves us the back to school traffic in the morning. He is really close to both sets of grandparents and I have zero worries about these occasional sleepovers, nor do I feel any guilt!

My children have had sleepovers with my parents since they were toddlers.
My relationship with my parents is complex but they have been fantastic grandparents.
All of the children have benefitted from having the relationship they have had with them. At times my mum would have done things slightly differently than we did at home ( eg sweets, bedtimes ) but no harm done.
It is a personal choice of course but don't underestimate how much children can benefit from having close relationships with other family. Parents are important but for those of us lucky enough to have other family - they have lots to offer hopefully.