Does anyone else not send their children to grandparents for sleepovers?

[nosleepoverss]

My child is 3 years old and he has never had a sleepover. Both sets of grandparents have asked about it and I just don’t see any need for it. We co-sleep, he still breastfeeds to sleep most nights and I don’t want him to sleep anywhere else/away from us and I see no reason why he should 🤷‍♀️ Surely I’m not the only one? 😂 I imagine he will be asking for sleepovers in a few years time but right now I just see any need for it?

My husband never met a grandparent of his, he moved out at 16 and never went back! Has a great relationship with his parents but the wide world called to him and off he trotted.
Of course, maybe if he had stayed at his grandparents he would have done the proper thing and left home at 12. That lack of sleepovers, delaying his independence!

People are wild.

No it doesn’t need to be at their grandparents- but their grandparents is a really great safe option.

No we never did but we didn’t really have much option.

I wouldn’t have done this when they were really little. But as we had two children close together when we were over 35 both GP’s were older. My IL’s lived three hours away and didn’t really have a very close relationship with them plus they had lost confidence in looking after little ones and were quite elderly. My DM living locally was never interested in my two but she looked after my sisters child who wasn’t much older than mine frequently. She did reluctantly agree to look after DS overnight the night I was in hospital giving birth to DD but she had DS less than 24 hours and she reluctantly agreed to look after them another time (but after that she refused and was never interested, our DC are both in their early 20’s now we got by but it was hard at times and we ended up loosing touch with all our joint friends who were couples and had babysitters on tap). But hey ho.

Seem to be the total minority here but my son went for his first sleepover to my mothers at 6 weeks! He was an awful sleeper and it gave me such a break, he (and now his little sister) go all the time still and love it, he sleeps much better there than he ever does for me at home

Quality time when you're conscious is more valuable in my opinion. My kids spend plenty of time with their grandparents without us there, sleepovers are largely for the benefit of the adults involved, either to give grandparents chance to relive the early years fun or to give the parents a night off.

Sleepovers are about way more than sleeping!
Stories, hot chocolate, breakfast fun, games at night.

Mine stayed with my parents regularly and my GC stay with me. There's no 'need' for it, we live in the same post code and see each other every day. But it can be very nice. The interaction between GP and child is different when the GP is caring for them and they focus on each other one to one and builds a lovely bond. For the parents it is a rest that even if you don't think you need, you may still benefit from. It's also good to know that if there was an emergency everyone knows the ropes so the child isn't more disturbed by staying away from home for the first time. Entirely up to you of course, you shouldn't feel under any pressure. But it might be nice for everyone at some point.

You and your son are happy and thriving as you are, and overnight stays with his grandparents may come in the future, if it’s what you both want.

My 3 grandchildren have stayed regularly overnight and for holidays with their paternal grandparents from the ages of 12 months or thereabouts. For background, I met my widowed husband some time after his first wife sadly died and I’ve known his daughter since she was a teenager, I hope I’ve been a kind, loving and thoughtful stepmother.

Would love her children to stay with us occasionally, but disappointingly it’s never happened so have stopped suggesting it, I was very upset initially but now realise that it may not be anything to do with me (hopefully!) and it’s just how things are in our case.

🌷

That is absolutely false. So what of people who have grandparents that live in another country. That is the case for many whose parents are immigrants. I spent most times with my grandma abroad on holidays and when she visited the UK. I'm so fond of her and have no struggles neither did my siblings now we are adults. These generalisations are wild. Are you a therapist or psychologist or just making your opinion a fact?

If you look above I say that Grandparents are an excellent place to experience sleeping away from home but that doesn’t have to be the place they do it.

Love the veiled accusation of discrimination against immigrants 😂

Eugh.
The fact this is the first reply.
Breastfeeding at three and beyond is fine and has many benefits to mother and child. Nobody is forcing you to breastfeed so keep your uneducated outrage to yourself.

Lol, both mine did too! DD from 6 weeks, with my parents every week overnight (40 miles apart so met up morning and following evening), then DS from a little bit older, maybe 10 weeks. Didn't BF either of them.
DD had started school soon after so it then became Friday until Sunday for them both every week (mostly)...I know, utterly dreadful, dreadful parents us😱 but everyone just loved it and the relationships they had/have were/are absolutely priceless.
Other GP (ils) also had them but they lived much closer and are a decade older so mostly was daytimes, but overnight too on occasion.
In our defence (and I feel absolutely no need to offer one anyway) we had a yard full of horses to attend to daily and on cold, wet days they were better off warm, happy and having fun elsewhere!
They are older teenagers now, mostly very together, healthy, hard working and outgoing kids so each to their own😊

Mine went from 6 weeks too. They are good sleepers but it was still lovely to have a childfree break.

YANBU. He wouldn’t enjoy it if he still BF at bedtime.
You’ll get jumped on by ignorant people who can’t imagine that you would breastfeed a 3 year old. Ignore them, they’re just thick.

Mine is 7 and has never slept away from me or DH. Various circumstances behind it, absolutely none of which are about me being precious about extended bf or anything like that, but mainly because she’s never expressed any desire to.

Mine did regularly with grandparents and great grandparents - it gave us time to be a couple and have the grandparents extra bonding time with the kids. We also left them with grandparents to go on holiday for a long weekend every now and then. They are both older now but still have the occasional sleepover at grandparents house every few months - or if me and DH go on holiday

How misogynistic can you get?

All this.

Im guessing you didn't breastfeed at all, you sound clueless

Our children are adult now but they only started doing sleepovers with anybody when they started asking to themselves . Which in effect meant the oldest stayed with my mum and his aunty quite often from about 3 , never stayed at the in-laws and the youngest never stayed anywhere .

My older 2 children maybe did a handful of times, but then we kept having kids, my younger children 7, 6 and 3 have never spent a night away from us.

My mum took my six week old daughter for a sleepover to give me a night of much needed rest. It became a monthly event and one I was always grateful for. It came in handy when we had a couple of emergencies. My mum took her and it wasn’t a big deal, just a sleepover at Nanny’s! No way I’d let her sleep at the in-laws though until she was much older. By then she was able to look after herself and contact me if she needed to. Sad really that they couldn’t have that same relationship but it wouldn’t have been a safe environment for her.

Nope not at all but it's there to expand your thinking because most people whose parents weren't born here have grandparents that don't live here. There are grandparent relationships that are formed through regular phonecalls or holidays overseas. An absence of sleepovers don't determine if a person will struggle in adult life like your previous post stated.

yes my post said the absence of sleepovers will cause people to struggle. It didn’t say they had to be with grandparents- but grandparents are an excellent place to start.