Lack of human contact causing MH crisis?

[Flipslop]

I’ve been doing alot of reading (and have some formal training) in MH matters, particularly around trauma and burnout recovery. A key thing that keeps coming up is the fundamental need for human contact to keep mentally well, especially when recovering from trauma.
whats everyone’s thoughts on this? I think I’ve really seen the detrimental affect on my own mental health since working from home over the last 5 years
am I being reasonable to think WFH and just generally a more distant society is stacking up for MH crisis?

This is just my experience but I find people really don't seem to want others in their houses. I'm always asking people over to mine and being turned down, sometimes I suspect because they are worried I'll expect them to reciprocate.

Yup.

Thanks for the recommendation.

I'm an introvert but daily/weekly connections are so important for our well-being. I now work from home, food shop is delivered , take aways delivered (hardly ever eat out now), phone appointments with GP, clothes etc delivered.

Life is less stressful in some ways but I'm not sure my mental health is great.

I’d honestly never known this was a thing before mumsnet (not wanting people to visit your house), but omg some of the threads on here, it clearly is extremely triggering for some!

I remember it being better before lockdown. Some of my friends say that their house is too untidy or unfit in some way. Maybe they expect that others will judge them or it's an excuse and they don't want people in their homes for psychological reasons.

Personally I wouldn't even mind being the only person having people over but no, can't risk feeling like they have to reciprocate so it doesn't happen.

I would love to have people come over but they never want to make the effort. I’ve had a friend visit once this year.

Nobody wants to do anything. When you do go out everyone is staring at a phone.

It’s definitely something I see with my Gen z kids. They only use self checkouts, buy things online, train tickets on an app, mostly socialise while gaming (with occasional nights out).
They only apply for part time jobs online, and would be really anxious about walking into a cafe and asking about work.
I tried to send my youngest to get fish and chips and he didn’t want to go because he didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted! This is a kid who grew up with no car, being taken round on buses and coming to the supermarket with me because I had no one to leave him with, but since having a phone anything that is face to face communication is a cause for anxiety.
It’s sad and it worries me. I absolutely need human interaction, and hate apps and online shopping/ booking but I feel like the world increasingly treats me as awkward when I try to avoid these.

The supermarket comments.. More and more often staff in retail don’t even muster up a hello.

And the proposed benefit changes are going to force more people into work who are not capable of the social niceties that you are used to. People with MH and ND issues. So you will complain and get them fired.

Most people claiming PIP are working. I claim PIP and work full time. This idea that cutting benefits will push people to work is bollocks.

See, I’ve always found things in person difficult. I’ve done it, but it has never got easier for me. Same with phone calls. I once cried in a Deli in New York because I couldn’t work out the system and everyone else seemed to know, and I couldn’t ask as I just got told I was in the wrong queue.

I think people have rose tinted view of the past. I used to go to hairdresser and cringe trying to make conversations about going out on a Saturday (nope) going on holiday (nope- travelling but was met with weird face about countries I was visiting. I even had to try and nod and smile through awful small talk about immigrants coming and taking out jobs!

It does seem to be an increasing problem. I remember the first trip to the office after lockdown. It was quite overwhelming and I had been going out to work for many years beforehand. It must be harder for those just starting out and who grew up in the texting and gaming as socialisation age.

I worry about the future of care for the elderly and disabled too. We seem to be looking more to automated/robotic systems to do these functions and currently a visit from a carer or nurse might be all the daily interaction a person gets.

This is much the same as me. Prior to Covid when I was full time in the office, I barely spoke to my colleagues. Their office chat was irritating and I had earbuds in to block out the noise in the office as it was distracting. When we all locked down my boss insisted on a daily team catch up call, this meant I spoke way more with my colleagues. When I needed to speak to individuals, we started the call with more social chat.

This pattern has continued and I’m more familiar with them than I would have been if we hadn’t had lockdown. I mainly wfh with a few days in the office now.

they are not doing just fine, I speak only about my close friends so not for everyone but they are struggling with anxiety bad

Bang on and that’s what all the research shows, I read this week that loneliness impacts our life span (by shortening it) by the equivalent of smoking

I’m absolutely not against wfh, the flexibility it’s given me while the kids are young has been great but it’s dawning on me that I don’t feel it’s sustainable and the more I read about the importance of social interaction whether that be causal greeting with a stranger or a deep chat with a friend, it’s an essential part of being human

Yes of course I did as I’m not a small minded self absorbed person Ruth no empathy
this is what I’m seeing, I’ve no agenda for it yo be applicable to everyone else or become my own echo chamber hence I asked others opinions

I’m so sorry to read this 💔 wish I could give you a hug xx

I've said this before but I wish that there was some, ideally evidence based, advice on how best to live with loneliness and isolation for those that can't find a way to solve it. People live with all sorts of things that aren't ideal but can't be quick fixed and this is no different.

I fully wfh for 3 years and by the end of that it had negatively impacted my mental health without a doubt. I’ve switched to a hybrid role now and it has been much better for me, so I agree from a personal perspective.

I do way better without forced human contact and interaction at all. Forcing human contact on me makes me worse. Even just working from home full time is too much and has exasperated things, I have to interact with people all bloody day when I don't really want to. I did much better only working 10h per week and only having to force contact with others for that short time, but sadly the bills don't allow for that.

I'd do even better if I were never in a position where I had to force contact and interaction with others, and only had contact and interaction when I chose to.

I don’t think MN is representative of the real world in that respect - forums generally attract a lot of homebodies by their very nature, so all the answers you get on here are generally going to be swayed towards the “home is safe” type replies.

I work in our local town and forever see people chatting or popping in and out of each others houses.

I WFH for 4 years before covid and was done with it.

I'd just got a job in an office a month before the lockdown! Covid was atrocious for my MH and I was close to breaking point.

I eventually got a job where going in is compulsory.

For me personally, I need to feel/be needed somewhere to feel better and to be more focused. WFH all the time isn't good for me.

I don’t think WFH is particularly the culprit here. The issue is a retreat into the family unit and away from social spaces.

Excepting people who have depression and anxiety and some with neurodiversity most people need social access.

But for many complicated reasons COVID triggered a kind of fetishization of social isolation which is profoundly damaging.

People who actively celebrate the fact they only ever interact with their spouse and children, people regarding social interaction with suspicion. You see it on here all the time with people actively celebrating the idea that their husbands provide the only source of social contact and saying friends are best avoided because they only create “drama” (whatever the hell that means). It’s incredibly limiting and deeply worrying that people like this are raising children.

No wonder children refuse school when so many parents promote the idea that social contact is hostile and unnecessary. And no wonder our political discourse is so polarized and focused on “othering” people outside of the immediate family. It really worries me.

@Thepeopleversuswork please not disregard “school refusal” like that. EBSA is a real thing and causes immense stress and emotional distress for so many families. Many children cannot manage the changed school environment, the pressurised exam culture, the lack of down time, play etc. Schools are enable to provide environments for neurodivergent children and those with anxiety. These children want to go to school, but they can’t.

My daughter was one, she would lie outside our house wanting to go to school, but frozen in fear. She burned out. The rhetoric that children are choosing to stay off school because parents are wfh is damaging and fails to address the real issues.

It’s the opposite for me, I find socialising and being around people whether family/ working/ shopping really exhausting and stressful. If I could work from home and not speak to anyone for days at a time I’d be happy.
I have depression, anxiety and ocd if that makes any difference.