Lack of human contact causing MH crisis?

[Flipslop]

I’ve been doing alot of reading (and have some formal training) in MH matters, particularly around trauma and burnout recovery. A key thing that keeps coming up is the fundamental need for human contact to keep mentally well, especially when recovering from trauma.
whats everyone’s thoughts on this? I think I’ve really seen the detrimental affect on my own mental health since working from home over the last 5 years
am I being reasonable to think WFH and just generally a more distant society is stacking up for MH crisis?

I don't think you can blame wfh. I think you can think technology has some part to play though.

I think it's complicated and individual. It can be easy to avoid too much social interaction if it's uncomfortable for you.
I don't use home delivery for shopping but can't say I get great conversation from till assistants. It's a bit of human contact I suppose. The problem with the local corner shop is they seem to know everyone's business and can ask intrusive questions!

Definitely agree.
Most of the people I know who are currently suffering with their mental health are middle aged men. One common denominator with these men is lack of real friends. They have work colleagues who they might interact with, and acquaintances who they see at the pub/playing sport. But none of them seem to spend quality time with other men talking about things that matter to them, the way the women do in my circle.
My dh can go out with a couple of friends, spend 5/6 hours with them and discuss nothing apart from the football or the variety of beer they’re drinking. I’ll ask when he gets back “How is X?” (who has been suffering really bad MH quite recently) and he will look at me blankly and say “seems ok I think”.
I think this is a big part of the problem - superficial friendships that they don’t seem to cultivate.

I totally agree with you.

Staying home is easy - it's free, it doesn't involve any effort, you can do whatever you like and wear whatever you like. One click and you can have practically whatever you like delivered to your door in 24 hours or even less.

But, despite what MN would have you believe sometimes, humans are sociable creatures and it's not healthy for us to hide away inside our own four walls without any interaction with anyone outside our own family unit.

Too many people take the easy option but then they come on here upset because their kids are grown and they have no hobbies, no friendship group and a partner who never gave up anything and they're now very lonely.

This is one reason I made sure i was I out daily on maternity leave the thought of being hidden away in some weird bubble did not sound healthy

Duplicate post

I don't think most men have ever had deeply emotional relationships with their friends in the way that women do.

Men and women are different. It's not sexist to say so, just an observation in my 47 years as a woman.

It's not a new thing. They're just very different relationships.

About 20 years ago I had a flirtation with a man Bob who was one of my male friends Dan best friends for over 15 years. Trying to talk to Dan to find out more about Bob was bewildering to me as he didn't seem to know basic things like what Bob's job was.

I don't think it means they're not 'real friends' or are superficial friendships, just that they bond differently.

Women seem to have much more complex relationships with different expectations which are much more stressful in my experience.

My social life has never been the same after Covid and it’s had an impact on my MH. I often feel lonely and isolated.

I wish we never had to stop living as it’s caused far more damage.

I absolutely agree, and I also think WFH allows MH problems to spiral and get far far worse without anybody noticing, and therefore without anybody being able to help.

Generalisation.

You're projecting what you want or have on other people and can't comprehend why that isn't an ideal life for some.

Everyone's different. It doesn't mean it's unhealthy or that they just can't be arsed to 'make the effort, taking the easy way out'.

You do you. Let others do the same.

Of course I'm projecting - every single person who has answered this thread is projecting - that's what people do when they're asked for their opinions.

I also never said I "couldn't comprehend" anything, nor did I suggest that I wouldn't let other people do what they want.

My post seems to have hit a nerve, even though practically everyone else has said the same thing as me. Odd.

I think a lot of people don't future-proof when it comes to maintaining their friendships and social life or hobbies. They think "oh, x doesn't suit me right now" and give up - without thinking about future "them" and what they'll need to thrive when their kids have moved out, or they find themselves single or widowed or whatever.

You see it with threads on here - people giving up hobbies, not wanting to see their friends, being too tired to go out - then their kids grow up and no longer need them as much, and they seem so lost. It's a real shame IMO.

I agree - it’s huge. Loneliness is a predictor of longevity- as in social interactions actually help us live longer and being lonely the opposite.

It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert. You may hate crowds, parties etc but being alone is not good for anyone. We need strong social connections.

Technology and WFH don’t help but it’s just something we should all prioritise as it’s more important than we realise..

@faerietales "One click and you can have practically whatever you like delivered to your door in 24 hours or even less."

the 1975 described the state of things in 2019. They must've written the song long before. That was "people" and the line "I don't like going outside so bring me everything here" was probably accurate then but I didn't really think about it because my friends didn't disappear till Covid. I definitely think it's got worse.

They also wrote "the man who fell in love with a robot" and that was years before. Not a great song to listen to. But excellent lyrics And spot on for where we are now.

on here at least, there's often a perception that people who want to talk or who need to talk for their mental health should just be left to get on with it. But we are a tiny minority. Just living in a WallE landscape now.

I used to wonder what I had done to annoy people. Now I realise it's more that nobody wants to talk about anything. It's extraordinary.

I think being sociable - even if it feels a little awkward or uncomfortable - is the mental equivalent of eating your vegetables. I think the covid interventions left some people utterly malnourished.

I agree OP. I think it’s very easy to fall into the trap of becoming terrified to go out or have human contact after you’ve been without it for some time, and also think this is your preference rather than a creeping unhealthy habit. Long term it’s not going to be good for anyone

I am much better with social interaction. I had periods of isolation after surgery last year and was quite depressed. I saw a friend one day and it was remarkable how much better I felt. Yet my instinct was to hide away and I would say I am more introvert and socially anxious sometimes.

So I agree with you fully. Social interaction is much better for mental health.

I love having shopping delivered, usually have a chat with the delivery person too.

I'm with you on this one; however, I think the OP is generally right.

Some people enjoy their own company whilst others don’t. So what could cause problems for one person will leave another feeling elated.

Lots of people seem to equate social interaction with going out drinking, or partying, or going to big gatherings - when it doesn’t have to be like that at all.

Social interaction can be just going for coffee and cake and having a chat for an hour. It can be playing board games together or meeting up for a dog walk. It can even be enough to just be around other people in a coffee shop or library.

I honestly think the main factor is too much time on our phones absorbing mainly negative news.

I worry about things that have never happened to me or anyone I know personally just because of whats online.

Working in an office had a worse MH impact on me than WFH. Alot of office bullying goes on.

Wfh is great for my mental health

im not isolated. I have a busy social life and volunteer too.

unless you have stats that show that people are more likely to have mental ill health wfh in comparison to being in a workplace then it’s just another anti wfh thread.

I think also, if you seek help for mental health issues these days, the lack of human touch there can make things so much worse. It's so dystopian when you summon what courage and energy you have to ask for help because you have reached the end of what you can do yourself and you are directed to an app or self-study CBT modules or something. It can make you feel needy, ashamed and like a burden for wanting human support when it's actually normal and hardwired into us.

It’s easy to say ‘oh I love my own company’ until reality sets in and you realise one day that you have nobody to do anything with even if you wanted to because you’ve isolated yourself.