Why do some women not like their husbands?

[whatsausername]

I mean this thread with all genuine sincerity, because my husband is the love of my life and also my best friend (married 5 years, together 10)

I absolutely love spending time with my husband, and family in general, and choose this above all else.

yet I have friends who would absolutely choose their friends to spend time with over their husband and I just don’t get it?

today is Easter Sunday and I couldn’t fathom not being with my husband and children

yet I have 2 very close friends who are spending today together, with their kids, but not their husbands. And this is the case for almost all things, all the time?

AIBU to think why are women marrying men they just don’t want to spend time with???

I am like you and find it super weird too . I think people just have different ways to live or different values and also plenty of marriages are simply a farce with love long gone

Give it time, people change, life changes us. Stress, loss be that jobs, money or the loss of bereavements, illness, be it physical or mental can take its toll on any relationship. Some weather the storms of life, some don't. My marriage did not withstand the upheaval of out baby's arrival and me being physically ill and also suffering from PND. Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. In fact out of all the couples I know from this time only 2 out of the 10 are still together

Your life seems very small tbh.

I enjoy the company of my DH, it doesn't mean I will always choose spending time with him over and above spending time with my friends. I need both to make my glass full.

Not spending time with him just makes those times I do spend with him even more special.

And women definitely do NOT change at ALL.
Cool.

Can I blow your mind OP? Today my DH went out with HIS friends with our/their respective kids for the day whilst I thoroughly enjoyed myself having a bath, doing some hobbies, pottering around the house etc. Now what does that say about the state of our relationship to you?

Women (and men) who don’t value or maintain their friendships and wider family relations when in a romantic relationship seem like sad-sacks to me but each to their own.

I have been married for 42 years and still live my DH to bits, he is my best friend. But I also have 3 friends I have known as long, who have been there for me through good times and the worst, whom I would trust with my life. We laugh, affirm each other and can say anything to each other without being misunderstood. If anything happens to me or DH or my children they will be there for me. Women need other women as well as their husbands, I believe it's always been so. If I get the chance I'm off to lunch with them.

I think you're getting a hard time on this thread OP, quite unfairly. I understand what you were asking - it's a legit question.

I also feel sad for the amount of people who think it's impossible to still enjoy spending time with your husband after 10+ years.

I’d have said that after 5 years too love.

Trust me, a lot of men don’t like their wives either! They stay for the kids or financial reasons

You've basically reposted the same thing!

People change, relationships change.

I too once thought my husband was wonderful.

Until I found out he was a lying cheat (huge understatement and has committed fraud).

What you gonna do?

Maybe there is stuff you don't know. Maybe their husbands aren't as wonderful as yours?!

But then he's your ex after that

Some women end up with men who are not interested in their own children and don't hide it. Don't want to go on family outings, don't care about making Christmas or Easter feel special, don't want to do birthday parties or any of the stuff of parenthood. My Dad was like this and now I'm watching one of my friends go through the same thing. She shops, eats, holidays etc alone or just with the baby, DH lives in his own world. Some women can't leave easily because they are trapped financially or the kids are too young and whatever. It's grim.

Or they don't want to be single

I have been married 20 years with 2 kids and I still love my DH as much as I did when I met him. He is my best friend and I love spending time with him. 😏

My husband can annoy the bejesus out of me and we have never shared a bathroom or an office (we work together) but he is my absolute base point. We have been together over 20 years now and the reality is anyone else has their own life but we are entwined 100%.

Saying that my daughter has declared (at the age of 14) that she will never have a partner beyond a boyfriend and certainly no children cos that will absolutely get in her way of her career choices, My response was absolutely 100%, you don't need to be attached to anyone and you must not be financially reliant. I am responsible for all investment decisions in our family (including the kids) and she is already learning from me now. Saying that though, there is an element of security she has just knowing that our priority is just the nuclear family.

My H is my best friend. Like friends we sometimes disagree. At the moment we’re doing significant home improvements, quite stressful, so have been bickering a bit. 🤷🏻‍♀️ it happens…. We make a real effort (and it is a real effort when you’re pissed off and feeling like you’re doing the lions share of work) to communicate openly and honestly. Couples grow and evolve through a relationship and sometimes they don’t grow together, so they grow apart instead and what seemed like a small issue once is now a great big fissure and that breeds resentment. It happens.

Or couples realise they shouldn’t be together but because of young kids, mortgages, sunk cost fallacy, they decide to stick at a failing relationship and end up not really liking each other.

What a monster! I hate him.

It's lovely you're so happy. My partner isn't the person i entered a relationship with and I'd rather spend time with friends or just my children. I have a much nicer time without him

Love a bit of balance - enjoy time with my husband but also bloody love the house to myself or a day with Friends.

I only spent Christmas with him since we had kids. Before then I preferred to be with my family and he was with his.

we do have lots of similar interests and loved festivals and clubbing and gigs

but since we had kids we can’t always go to these things together cus of childcare -
so we go separate with friends now. 🤷‍♀️

My husband is my best friend. Not because I don't have a close enough friend to call that, but because when you break down what a "best friend" is, he ticks all the boxes.

He has my back completely. I am 100% myself with him. I can be totally honest with him. When I have good or bad news, he's who I want to talk to first.

I love my friends dearly, and if I want to watch a romcom or drink cocktails and dance or go to the theatre or go for a spa day or something, I'll call them rather than take my husband because it'll be more fun.

But you know if you were entirely honest with your best friend, there would be something they'd take offence at, so actually you'd be more careful what you say or how you word things. My best friend will be there for me if I need support, but she will "empathise" by telling me how bad she has it. I don't want that, I need to just talk through my feelings and then figure out my plans. DH knows that, and supports me how I want.

We're not joined at the hip, but he is my best friend. Wouldn't have married him if not.

I’m so glad I found this thread as I need to vent!

Hate is a very strong word.

35 years married.

I don’t know if I hate my husband but I seriously dislike the fact that he had an accident which has left him with a brain injury.
I dislike the person he has become because of it.
I hate that he can no longer take responsibility for anything and everything is left for me to manage.
I hate that he has lost his independence.
I hate that he can’t make a decision.
I hate that he has no awareness of what I feel or how he impacts on my life.
I hate the loneliness I feel.
I hate no longer having financial stability as I’m the only earner and it’s minimal.
I hate my life more than I dislike my husbands injury, I seriously hate it, if I had the courage to end it I would, but I can’t as my husband would then become my adult children’s responsibility and I couldn’t do that to them.
So, I’m in bed already, just to remove myself from him, tears streaming down my face writing this. Hopefully I will sleep tonight and waken up to do it all over again tomorrow.

Rant over!

Anyone reading this, please don’t reply, things will never get better, I have accepted that this is my life from now on. I don’t need advice or pity, I just wanted a safe place to vent.

I am quite simply deathly allergic to husbands, I've tried to find a cure but it's terminal.

I love my DH but have spent all day pottering around the house alone by choice. He has been out with DSC and I wanted the day to myself. Forgot it was easter tbh (obviously DSC have had eggs). You can love family but also enjoy time to yourself.

Aside from the women who are trapped in bad marriages for a myriad of reasons, a good marriage looks different for everyone. Yours involves a husband that is your best friend and you want to do everything with. It’s not that for lots of other people.

Honestly, you’re either gloaty or dim not to realise this.

Because some people really do dislike their husbands but cant leave them for whatever reason? I though it was bloody obvious.

Nice humble brag OP. Well done you for not picking a dud.