Why do some women not like their husbands?

[whatsausername]

I mean this thread with all genuine sincerity, because my husband is the love of my life and also my best friend (married 5 years, together 10)

I absolutely love spending time with my husband, and family in general, and choose this above all else.

yet I have friends who would absolutely choose their friends to spend time with over their husband and I just don’t get it?

today is Easter Sunday and I couldn’t fathom not being with my husband and children

yet I have 2 very close friends who are spending today together, with their kids, but not their husbands. And this is the case for almost all things, all the time?

AIBU to think why are women marrying men they just don’t want to spend time with???

Why are you blaming the female for this? Maybe it's the man that wants to do his own thing and doesn't want to spend time with his family and the rest of the family have no choice but to go with it so they make the most of it and have a lovely time with the kids and/or friends?

This. It's unhealthy and unsustainable to put all of your relational needs on one person.

The Easter hols span over four days. I spent Good Friday shopping with DH. I spent Saturday with him having a meal and going on a local long dog walk. I spent yesterday with a friend having a coffee and a catch up. I think, no matter how much you enjoy your DHs company, it’s healthy to have communication with others too. But of course everyone’s different. You’re just wrong in your assumption that just because someone might meet a friend instead of spending that time with your dh, that this must mean they don’t like him.

Welll one of us is usually working! Some jobs do include weekends and bank hols you know. The work juggle is a real struggle for some families with no family or outside help - time off together is an absolute luxury.

Plus with neurodivergent kids, sometimes we just need a break and the only way to get that is when the other parent has them. You are very naive (& lucky), you should just enjoy your privileged set up and stop judging others.

Is that you, Victoria Beckham?

It all depends on the man as well. If a partner is rolling her eyes towards him, then that's the beginning of the end. Most men stay in relationships because of financial reasons once is goes pear shaped. They don't have a lot of demands.
If you're strong willed as a man then you notice very quickly and put an end to it and move on. Most women tend to think they can do better.

I would also add friendships are very important. I lost my df some years ago when he was relatively young. He and my dm were joined at the hip and had no friends, just happy to be with each other. It’s been a huge struggle with my dm since his death, as she only has me and my siblings, which has been very full on at times. Would have been so much better for her if she had had solid friendships where she could have created a life for herself after he died.

What does it matter to you what other people are doing? Maybe your friends husbands were working, relaxing after a long week at work, or ill, maybe that was the only day each friend was free to meet. Doesn’t mean they don’t like their husbands!
If you’re happy in your life, spending time with your husband then why do you need to judge what other people are doing?

I don’t think there’s any 1 answer to this.
Alot of women have settled.
Alot of men change after marriage.
Alot of people don’t place importance on Easter Sunday.
Why are you bothered though? My partner is also my best friend, absolute favourite person in the world but there may be 1 holiday in the future I’d rather spend with my friends? I don’t think it’s as deep as you think it is.

Rampant rabbit 😆

Don't assume what works for you works for other people. I love being with my dh and it’s important to me. But lots of other people don’t want or need that close attachment. The marriage might mean different things to different people. What I simply cannot understand though are those women-and men-who complain about their spouses, sarcastic, cynical and mean about them. I kind of think, just get out if you dislike your spouse. But simpering on about your husband being your best friend and all that and faux misunderstanding is a bit irritating to others OP.

Because my husband winds me the fuck up!

I agree.

But OP do you really not know all this? Did you believe that women regularly marry men they dislike spending time with? It is hard not to conclude that you are simply boasting about your own marriage to a bunch of strangers on the internet! If you are so happy just enjoy it -you’re fortunate.

Maybe they too love spending time with their DH but he works so, rather than sitting around being miserable, they make the best of the situation and attend events together.

I think it changes over time. I've never had a 'best' friend, more a group.

Dh was my best friend in my 20s. In hindsight, this was because the friends I'd had since school were all starting to go in different directions and I didn't see them that much. Having said that, dh was a lot of fun and we had so much in common: music, films, art etc and did all sorts of things together.

Then I had dc and the women I met through them became important to me.

There have been many times over 20+ years where dh has driven me mad. But then, I'm no longer the 25 year old he married either.

We've always been a good team, but now the kids are older, we're rediscovering our friendship too. I go out and go on holiday with my friends, but also with dh. It feels like the balance is right.

So do I. DH and I do our own thing plenty, but also really love spending time together.

This is so true!

Yes because hate is a wonderful emotion to be around.

I spend plenty of time by myself or with friends. But DH is still my best friend and my favourite person to do things with. That's why he's the person I chose to spend my life with.

People who say someone else is their best friend also don't spend every waking moment with that friend either.

I just feel sad for women who hate the person they chose to live with. Because that's what they're living with day in day out.

I adored my husband. He was my best friend, we did a lot together. I didn't want to go off and do stuff with my friends, I loved spending time with him, just hanging out or going to places. It was my favourite thing to do.

So, when he decided he was going to leave me to go off and chase a woman he'd met doing a professional course that he was failing badly at, I was devastated. I will never make that mistake again.

Oh look, a. Bridget Jones smug married!

At lot of people have their hobbies on a Sunday and to many Easter Sunday is just another Sunday.

This. ^ What a daft thing to say. That women who hate their husbands are the most fun to be around. 🙄 @mumofoneAlonebutokay and anyone who thinks like this, clearly hates their husband, and that's why they get on with women who also do. (Or if they're single they hate men!)

Because like all adults we grow and develop as married couples as well as individuals. We don't stay the same as the first day we met. And one day you can realise that your growth doesn't match your other half's growth so while you still love them and care about them, you realise you need more than just your family unit so you have friends to fulfill those needs not met at home. Both you and your husband will maybe realise one day that you grew into different people with different interests and needs, likes and dislikes. He may discover he enjoys trekking with a group of friends while you don't like trekking. Or you may discover you love travelling while he's would find he had enough of that and would prefer to stay at home. He may discovered he enjoys gardening while you prefer to do something different with your time. So while he spends his time pottering around the garden you may like to go out with your friends.
Your kids will not stay small forever and will become more independent and with their own wants and needs while we grow as adults as well.
Let me know how things go in another 10-15 years :). If you're still happy to do everything together, fantastic, if you're not then maybe you'll remember this post :).

And you couldn’t come up with any of those insights for yourself, OP?