"Ipad Kid" ??

[Becc91]

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

Ah, the age-old assumption. 'If other people dare to have a problem with my complete failure to parent my child in public, they must be bitter dried-up childless hags.' 😂

Refusing to be blind to your lazy parenting doesn't mean someone is childless. It means they're seeing your parenting for what it is. How on earth do you think parents managed in the days before these oh-so-essential dancing fruits??

You're being ridiculous.
My 3 year old would play for way more than half an hour lining up cars. My 4 year old on his first long haul flight watched the minions movie 3 times in a row, concentrating on it. I've seen babies in q's watching phones for way more than 10m. You're talking rubbish.

Perhaps you're referring to the time period they can apply sustained attention in school while learning? This is not the same as being in a state of flow focusing on something that's holding their interest.

In any case, if your child has difficulty concentrating on one thing for more than 10m then you just arrange 3 different 10m activities to fill their time.

A child is better off learning to control their impulses to go off exploring in a restaurant situation than just having an iPad shoved in their face. Yes it's harder on the parent than the iPad but my belief is it'll pay off with more emotional resilience when they are older.

Your expectations of children are way too low to the child's own detriment.

it's a magic number

no re the parents, but they don't always do what you want them to do/what they should do.. As mine have gotten older they have become so much more willing to engage, and it i a joy. When they were v young regularly v hard to so do, however hard one tries...

well done you for having such compliant children that all of them do everything you want of them at all times!

That’s the point. Children aren’t compliant all the time, they do have to be taught. It takes a lot of effort. Do you think other people just have magically well-behaved kids? And if they don’t sit quietly, then rather than engage them and teach them to behave in a socially acceptable manner, you can just thrust a device at them that will disrupt and annoy other people’s meals?

They don't. That's the whole thing. Children need actively parenting!

Oh, so now we’re Karens for not agreeing with you. 😂

It’s not being a Karen to think that under normal circumstances a parent should be capable of parenting without shoving an iPad under their kid’s nose, but I don’t know why you assume we think small kids need no stimulation whatsoever when they’re out. Of course they need it. When I was very little I was always given a comic or a colouring book to bring with me when we went out. That kept me in my seat just fine. It’s so funny to suggest iPads are somehow necessary otherwise a kid will wreak mayhem, when parents managed for literally decades without them.

I notice there’s no mention in your potted parenting manual of actually talking to a child.

Totally agree. I’ve had friends in the past say to me I’m lucky that my kids are well behaved. I’m not lucky, I put in the hard work to make sure they behave well. I said no when it would be easier to say yes and put in boundaries of what is and is not acceptable, and most importantly stuck to them - that’s the hard part. I spent time interacting, talking and playing when a screen would have been easier. It’s really not a case of luck and having a naturally compliant child.

It can be very hard, yes. But that doesn't mean you take the easy route when you know it isn't good for them. For parents, lots of hard things have to be done.

I will just that obviously every child has different characteristics. Why would one want to take children into a restaurant or similar if didn't want to spend with them and teach them how to behave? As Mike Tyson said, everyone has a strategy until someone punches you in the face.. Don't, please,judge others' parenting just because their children are not stepford children...

'active parenting' doesn't result in them all doing everything you want to do all at the same time. Sometimes some will, sometimes all will! (on a lucky day). So would you have them shouting or otherwise disrupting others' dinner

of course hard things need to be done, i think we all know that. OPs complaint was about another parents' child marginally disrupting there meal with some background noise from a child's device. Would a tired screaming toddler or children after a days' travelling throwing food be less disruptive? Personally the thing I would do is give a child a device at the table but sometimes, i am not going to lie, it''s been the least worst option..

millenia

Sound off or headphones, no exceptions. My dsd is severely disabled but the iPad isn’t allowed at the table (we won’t discuss the other waking hours of the day )

Sorry that Q was addresses to @daisydebris

YADNBU but some people will hate this. At a theme park over the Easter holidays and saw so many very young children in buggies watching phones. I don’t believe they were all autistic!

I also privately think the “DC is autistic and needs it to regulate” is bullshit too as I have neurodivergent children and yes they would be quiet with hours and hours of screen time, doesn’t mean it’s good for them.

It wasn't marginal disruption or "background noise." Electronic noises are incredibly intrusive and don't recede into the background like natural sounds or human speech. That's why it's socially unacceptable to play devices out loud in public.

And it isn't a choice between shove an iPad in their face or let them scream and throw food. Or at least, those aren't the only choices for someone actually willing to be a parent.

Why would you want to watch 2 minutes of ads? Designed to buy things you probably don't need. Is that time better not spent reading about the Justinian Plague, playing wordle, checking for your schedule the next day?

No, I wouldn't...which is why I parent them. They know how to behave.

"they have to HAVE been taught." "they have to been taught."?

So when 'parenting' one exhausted/starving child, if even they do engage with said parent, what is to be done about the others throwing food screaming etc... Of course being glued to an ipad is suboptimal but, to misquote Sherlock Holmes "When you have eliminated the possible, whatever remains, however suboptimal, must be the truth"

of course one would expect the children have been taught how to behave, however kids are humans too. No one does the right thing all of the time (or anyone who claims to is obviously a Narcissist and/or liar), same goes for children...

You talk as though parents are powerless to stop that happening. They aren’t.