"Ipad Kid" ??

[Becc91]

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

Take it your 19yo perfect child never had a cough or ate messily ? Do enlighten us with their achievements, I take it they’re absolutely perfect as you’re a perfect parent ??

I was on the bus the other day when a woman with a young girl got on - probably about 4. For the whole journey the pair of them sat at the back of the bus with the girl watching and listening to some absolute nonsense on the woman's phone. It was on full blast and it was some dreadful American accent. It was absolutely excruciating for all the other passengers.
Similar experiences with children in supermarket trolleys blasting nonsense from ipads or similar to the whole supermarket whilst they are being pushed around.
It just makes life that much more stressful and unpleasant for everyone else.
I don't understand why the children cant be given a toy or a book to keep them amused and why it has to be something so noisy and unpleasant and intrusive.

Entitled to what?

My 2yo had a small peppa pig house with 3 figures, plus a small a5 colouring book and about 4 pens on the table yesterday at a family friendly restaurant and a ‘lovely’ woman aged about 50 with a young adult with a face like a slapped arse and glued to their phone, commented that ‘kids shouldn’t need toys at the table… ok hun meanwhile your child is an overweight miserable Sod so who’s winning at parenting 😂

Think they are referring to SallySue.
I agree with you regarding the sound. I try not to judge as I don't know the background but when I got to eat with kids we eat. Part of the experience is learning social skills but then I'm not with kids who are ND or have other reasons a screen may be useful

I have kids, and they have screens.

However, it is soo fucking rude to let your kid watch stuff loudly so other people have to hear the annoying shit too.
Kid on a silent screen at dinner, not my business.

But kid on a screen with sound in a public place.. you are making it everyones business and you are rude AF to allow it.

"and vacant parents who could care less"

The figure of speech is "couldn't care less" @Becc91

I'm with you on this one, it's a hill I will die on! No screens at the table for my 4 year old (and coincidentally or not, he's great in restaurants as he's used to eating out and engaging with adults). We have books and colouring in for emergencies!

But on the other hand... This is my choice. I wouldn't judge others for doing it. I also think once you start, it's hard to break the habit. I also wonder if some people just automatically do this as they think it's the norm or that their child won't sit? Like, maybe they've always did this and haven't ever tried to have a meal without screens? So might be something the kid has just grown up with.

God forbid an exhausted parents gets 5 minutes to themselves whilst keeping their kid safe and nourished 🙄

When we go out I take books and colouring for my toddler but we do use a phone/tablet as a last resort if she gets restless while waiting. I do this because I don’t want to disturb other diners and because sometimes I just want a meal in peace. I know it’s looked down upon and it does make me self conscious thinking that people like yourself are looking at me and judging me as a lazy parent. But sometimes we all just need to do what we need to do to make certain situations more bearable.

I can’t imagine bringing it up with a stranger. Your 19 year old was right to feel embarrassed. But I’m sure you’ll get a shit ton of people agreeing with you because MN loves to feel superior when it comes to parenting.

It’s not a get out of jail free card! And it’s not something to be so dismissive and disrespectful about. Autism comes in so many shapes and forms. Some autistic children can sit perfectly well in a restaurant and mask the hell out of the situation and survive it! Others however absolutely struggle to engage, ti control their senses in that situation and technology can be an aid to help this.

for example my child gets emotionally overwhelmed in most shops, it results in screaming, thrusting their body, tears (non verbal so can’t say how they feel). However I want my child in properly fitted shoes. Last time we went in it was like wrestling with a crocodile to get their feet measured. A lovely man gave him a tissue at the end and the sales person couldn’t have been better or calmer. But it’s traumatic seeing your child go through that for what seemingly is a normal situation. But for my child the electric lights, the noises of the door, the cramped nature of the shop, the rows of shoes, make the experience scary. By distracting my child with technology we can get in and out with some tears but not a full blown head banging screaming mess.

I now cut my child’s hair, because of similar experiences in hair salons. Technology didn’t work in that instance. Too much overwhelm.

I’m an experienced mother with a masters in education. And there isn’t a book or paper or online article I haven’t read about autism. And I still find it challenging! That man who gave a tissue, his action brought me to tears that night because he was one of the crowd who showed compassion. Believe me that’s a rare trait in this modern world or judgement.

Autism isn’t a card, it’s always my child and myself will face thousand more interactions with others in our life time, how many of those are going to be like that kind man?

It isnt 5 mins though, is it? Kids sitting in restaurants on their ipads aren't on them for 5 mins. Parents finding ways of propping up phones infront of small babies aren't doing it for 5 mins peace, they're doing it to get hours of peace at the expense of their child's brain development.

Okay so an hour, although probably less at a restaurant - parents are exhausted and need a break sometimes

Yes, lots of autistic people/children do struggle in many situations, including my DD. But just yesterday I read a question by a Mum whose child wants to go home 20 mins after arrival at any destination (they'd paid to go into a zoo and she wanted to leave almost straight away). The Mum said the child just wants to go home and use her tablet instead of going out... I just think that always giving in and shoving a screen in their fave is exacerbating the issue.

Unfortunately people don't want kids on iPad's but they don't want kids making any type of noise or existing in public either so you're always going to piss someone off being anywhere outside with children.

I agree with use is earphones though. I don't know why everyone else has to be subjected to cocomelon.

I never did it, but I know plenty of parents who did.

The noise goes right through me though.

In the US it’s could care less, whether universally or regionally I’m not sure. I think is totally bizarre and makes no sense, but it is sometimes used in that format.

I’d heard that was the case but I just read a book with it in a couple of times and it really clanged.

I also can’t relate to the argument about kids who use tablets being developmentally delayed and unable to speak or engage in any other activities.

Yeah that might be the case for kids who have been glued to one for hours a day since birth. But my toddler is amazing at holding a conversation, she is meeting all of her milestones and has a range of activities and interests that she enjoys. She’ll have the iPad for half hour intervals so that I can eat a meal or get some jobs done but she doesn’t kick off when it’s taken away. There’s a lot of hyperbole about all these addicted, developmentally stunted kids who can’t function without a screen in front of them imo.

But your kid could wear headphones. It’s not unkind to want to be in a restaurant without being subjected to cocomelon or whatever on full blast.

my ND niece would massively struggle with the overwhelming sounds of other kids iPads all around her. Be kind works in lots of ways. Having iPads on quiet is one of them.

@TreeCakeI agree technology can definitely be misused and leaving because they want to return to their fix isn’t a healthy situation. However I’ve been that parent who leaves an activity because my child can not cope in that situation, it’s happened in theatres, in play centres. My child loves more than anything running. Running across fields in one direction (which is annoying because the dog walk is not a loop) but a stranger might think when they see my child with tech that that is all they do- so far from the truth!

@LittleLabradormy kid can’t wear headphones, that is not a solution unfortunately. It’s not a choice. The volume however can be low.

I see it in my line of work. There are genuinely kids who just spent 10+hours per day on their tablets. I see children because of the developmental delay and it’s shocking how many parents happily admit to unrestricted screen time and how many don’t understand that their child reciting ‘a, b, c’ from dancing letters on a screen isn’t actually conversation.

Yanbu about the noise level but yabu about everything else

The laziness? You have absolutely no idea what that family were doing beforehand

I let my children bring their tablets to meals, we've normally had a busy day out if we're eating out and we all want to relax whilst we're eating. It keeps them quiet and entertained.

Ok but that’s hours a day? A short stint so that a family could enjoy a meal is not going to create that problem surely? My toddler uses a screen, not for hours a day but she uses one and has never displayed any of these sort of issues.

On one hand the op talks about the noise disturbance which is fair enough. On the other she talks about lazy parenting and parents who ‘couldn’t care less’ which suggests she’s made a snap judgement based on a tiny snapshot into their lives.

I say you are wrong , you can ask politely for the sound to be lower but you can also refrain from judging others that way . Your 19 year old has more common sense than you