"Ipad Kid" ??

[Becc91]

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

But there may come a point where she does have a.conversation but sticking her on an iPad all the time is not going to encourage her to talk is it?

@Oioisavaloy27 where on earth did I say she was on an iPad all the time? I said when they are out for a meal and she begins to become overwhelmed. It stops them having to leave and th older two having their fun ruined. My kids have tablets sometimes but they aren't on them all the time 🙄

No, the child does not need the technology. Parents need to parent.

I agree OP. Its like children cannot sit and wait for a meal at a restaurant anymore. As children we didn't have a choice. Now it's so easy for parents to give them something to "occupy them", children aren't learning to have any patience.

I don’t understand why it’s your business? If it’s too loud, then just move? You have no idea or need to know their corcumstances.

This is a really unkind way to respond to a poster who is clearly doing her best in circumstances none of us would choose for our children.

Why does your son’s discomfort trump other people’s. It’s a serious question. When I take my 5year old grandson out to restaurants we bring sticker books. He is on the hyper side so he needs something.

YABU except for the part about noise. Absolutely children should be using headphones in public.
And I speak as a parent of a child with significant SEND needs.
I can tell you something, if iPads has been around in the 70’s and 80’s there’s absolutely no doubt that parents would have used them, that’s if we weren’t left alone in the beer garden or car with some pop and crisps. Never has parenting been under such a judgemental periscope. It’s ludicrous.

Wow entitled and selfish

I'm sorry but the creators of hey bear and the dancing fruit need some kind of award in recognition of services to parent hood. My toddler, who loves books and songs and has an incredible vocab for his age also has poor impulse control and a raging temper. Dancing fruit and the bumble nums are they only things that will save him. so if we are out, waiting on food and he is tired and hungry, yes he gets my phone. I don't inflict the noise on neighbouring tables, but actually the tunes are pretty catchy.

If the child is under 4-5 they do not have the capacity to sit and converse with an adult for an hour as the adult eats their dinner. This way the parent gets to enjoy a meal out and the toddler gets to enjoy an hour of dancing fruits, except some people seem to make everything their problem, especially when it’s other people’s children and they themselves are childless.

Someone needs to care about our future generation. Good on you, OP!

For everyone saying the child might be neurodiverse and all that jazz...I speak as someone who works and studies in this area;

No. Do not pass go. Go straight to jail.

Neurodiversity existed looooong before technology arrived on the scene. Taking your ND children our, is not a novel thing! We survived without screens on outings before now, we can also survive without them presently. Otherwise? You're just using the screen as a babysitter and replacement educator. Taking ND outdoors should be an educational and socialising experience to enhance their and yours coping mechanisms via communication.

We use a screen as a last ditch effort, we usually have toys and books. That being said my 2 1/2 year old isn’t food motivated and doesn’t like to sit still. Needless to say, I’m at the point that I’m now refusing to eat out with him as no one enjoys it and it’s stressful.

I’ve no issue with screens (especially for SEN), but there needs to be respect for other people where volume is concerned. Headphones or very quiet.

This thread is so weird.
Other threads a full of people complaining about phone/tablet use in the cinema, theatre or gigs because it disturbs them.
People moaning about the audience participation at the Minecraft movie saying it ruined it for their (probably too young to actually be watching it) children.
Yet apparently it's perfectly fine for a loud phone/tablet to be used in a cafe or restaurant - despite the fact the noise WILL be disturbing others.
So odd.

We never used screens when we were out. We used to interact with our kids. We also only ever ate at lunchtime if we went out because young children past 6pm are notoriously difficult (the witching hour). IMHO it's not just kids anymore, adults need constant baby sitting with phones and no one seems to be able to use headphones. I am so fed up with people wandering around the supermarket with their phones on speaker! I don't want to listen to your conversations. It's mental. Use headphones or hold the phone to your ear.

Absolutely. And there wouldn’t have been a MN to make them feel bad about it 😂

What I don’t get with this thread is the lack of critical thinking. There’s a subtle suggestion that the parents who do this are feckless and lazy and their kids will be developmentally delayed because of all this iPad usage.

Most sensible people know that it’s not good to plonk a child in front of an iPad for multiple hours a day. Just because they’ve chosen to do it for a small window of time to keep their kid quiet and non disruptive in a public space it doesn’t make them ‘that sort of parent.’

iPads and tech are a part of daily life. Sooner or later your kid will need to use one. A small amount in moderation never hurt anyone, providing the volume is turned down.

My kids don't have i pads at the table when eating out, we prefer colouring. However they do eat coco pops and do stay with grandparents on occasions (just to balance this out amongst the numerous other parent bashing threads that have appeared tonight on mumsnet)

When my DD was younger we would always ask the restaurant if they have any colouring in, and that was part of our restaurant experience.

I don’t judge BUT, I know that I have found it very difficult to get my daughters attention span back when I have normalised the IPad in social settings. She’s a teen now and it’s the same with the phone. In social settings I tell her to put her phone down. I will only let her on the iPad if we are at a friends house and she’s survived a few hours without it. It’s a hard thing to do, and you have to commit to socialising with the child and including them. My DD is amazing in social settings, my friends love chatting with her and she is opinionated and can hold a convo.

This comment isn’t aimed at parents that feel that they need it, my child is NT and I’m aware that the challenges are different. But if we can train our children to socialise over using tech in social settings, we will be saving them in the long run. We are already seeing that socialising has changed drastically.

No matter weather we as parents are using tech to pacify our children and to keep them quiet, we need to be honest about how addictive these things are and we are collectively changing th way that the next generation socialise.

I think as parent, do what you want - but don’t be oblivious.

Yes I have stuck my kid in front of an iPad - but I’m aware that it needs conditions and I’ve been in situations where we’ve had to go cold Turkey whilst we get rid of the “addiction” - and the inability to sit in boredom (bloody hard because it is like weaning someone off an addiction).

Try interacting with the child.

In Tenerife at the moment. Breakfast, table next to us, 2 adults, 2 teenagers, all on their phones. Never said a word to each other throughout the meal - a bit sad really

YANBU to have an issue with it if it's loud, constant and parents have a 'can't be bothered attitude' although not sure about calling them out on it.
We will I admit let our girls watch things on devices for abit of the time whilst out for a meal, but NOT whilst they are eating (social and hygeine reasons) and only after exhausting colouring/I spy/fidget toys etc etc.
It's getting harder with oldest (8) as she has ASD and gets bored and hyperactive easily and many activities don't keep her occupied now she is getting older.
But watching screens is used as a last resort.
We never allow screens whilst eating at home, however meals out do tend to last longer, so towards the end they can get bored and also there is not disturbing other people trying to enjoy their meal to think about if they are playing up!

I'd love to see you try a meal out with my kids 🤣 Please share your alternative strategies for keeping them calm and quiet! Or do you just have really easy and compliant non SEN kids?!

But it’s OK for your child to watch something loudly at a restaurant and disturb everyone else? Heaven forbid someone should comment on your 4 year old’s inability to sit at a table without being glued to a screen.

Kids using iPads in restaurants = I don’t care

kids using iPads with sound in restaurants = really annoying and you’re utterly selfish

Well I was sat in a cafe the other day and could hear someone’s phone really loudly. Turned around and there was an elderly person watching funny videos. I could hear it louder than my own phone I was watching with ear phones in. I was on my own having a brew waiting for my child to finish a class.

And all those people saying take a colouring book - it’s the same thing just a modern day equivalent. Handing your child a colouring book is the same as an iPad. Keeping them occupied whilst you have an adult conversation. It’s not better than an iPad because it’s low tech.

Some parents are exhausted. Some days my teens sit and talk at me when we go out to eat. Some days you can barely get a word out of them. Depends on everyone’s mood. Some days I don’t want to be sociable but still want to eat out of the house. Some days we take a pack of cards and play a game. Some days we all ignore each other and scroll our devices. Currently my 15 year old can be seen using GCSE revision apps on their phone whilst we are eating out. I try to get them to take a break but they don’t always want to. Or they’re squeezing some revision in before attending something. I know teens aren’t toddlers, but people criticise those as well.

My only issue is the loudness. But it can be hard getting headphone onto toddlers. Been the rams tried that. But mine learned to read subtitles at an early age - maybe not toddler age but not much older.

As for those saying their autistic child manages without screen time. Well that’s great. They’re one autistic child and no two autistic children are the same. I’ve got an autistic teen who was an undiagnosed autistic toddler. I also teach autistic children of all ages from nursery to 6th form. Some can manage without screens, some need their screens to regulate, some are overstimulated by screens or by two much screen time. It can be a tricky balance.

Sometimes the saying is true that you shouldn’t judge someone til you’ve walked in their shoes. Yes OP is right to feel those things and have their own opinion but I believe they’re wrong to interrupt the family and try to tell them how to parent their child.