"Ipad Kid" ??

[Becc91]

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

Unless the adults want to talk to each other as well. We find that if just our nuclear family that's fine, but if lots of other adults as well in more of a catch up scenario it is harder for the younger ones as they can get left out.

If the younger one's "can get left out"
It's a classic case where, and I'm sure there's more than one in any area, a person should be getting a sitter.

I had a 4 year old recently and so do a lot of my friends.
Some of them would sit and chat and draw happily for an hour or more, some were much harder work, worst case scenario a quick walk around the block or leave early.

Ipads are not necessary although obviously they do make dinner more relaxing for parents. Call it what it is tho. You either haven't taught your kid to behave or you can't be bothered to entertain them.

One thing is thread has reminded me is how utterly vile and judgemental other mums can be. I really don’t understand why there needs to be such hateful superiority between parents, especially mums. I genuinely would look or think twice if I saw a kid with an iPad, or a dummy, or a bottle with juice in it. Sure we all know these things aren’t ideal and we may or may not choose to do it for our own dc but to spout such vitriol and admit to being so judgemental is embarrassing. I do hope some of you aren’t instilling this horrible attitude in your own dc, I’d say it’s far more damaging than an iPad in a Toby Carvery for half an hour.

Some of you definitely never grew out of being mean girls in the playground.

You should have paid more attention to what the 4 years old was doing then. The normal attention span of 4 years is 8-12 minutes, it increases with age to - 5-6 years old: 12-18 minutes. This means they can only do an activity for that period of time, be it looking at a tablet, playing, talking etc So most generally what a toddler in a cafe will do is eat for 10 minutes, play for another 10 minutes, chat for another 10 minutes after which they will try go off and explore. And yet there will be so many idiots looking at them and thinking they sit and watch an iPad for hours. They do not have the attention span for looking at an IPad for an hour any more than they do for anything else, the iPads are one of many things utilised to keep them sat down so they don’t go off and bother the idiots criticising the iPads.

Well I guess my kid and my friends kids didn't read those averages then.

6 year old 12 - 18 minutes? Ridiculous. But even so-

10m reading menu, choosing food, ordering.
15m chatting.
15m drawing.
30m eating.
15m nagging them to keep quiet.
10m quick walk around the block while waiting for pudding, order check same time.
10m eating pudding.
Leave.

It's not rocket science. We didn't always have ipads.

Honestly it's so depressing that so many have such low expectations for their kids. This coming generation has been fucked over by screens and parents who consistently chose to go for easy option rather than expecting kids to learn to regulate themselves.

Ds 8 does have his ipad with him at all times but it's not to watch videos on he uses it to communicate with us. He's non verbal and the ipad has been a life saver for him he can now communicate with people he couldn't communicate with before.

We went to Spain last year and this was noted at every mealtime by myself and DH - whole families sitting eating attached to devices, whole families sitting at the pool on devices, kids at the children’s evening disco sitting on the dance floor on devices. It was really sad.

Have a look at this Russell Kane clip. So true….

www.instagram.com/reel/DHYX57Nt5X4/?igsh=MXBzdGFqYTJoM3hhMg==

I've got four children, 13 years and younger.

Youngest has just turned five. I very much know what young children are like.

Posted too soon.

We went out for a meal on Saturday. Seven children, all under 13. Three of them six and under.

Not a single screen between them. Just adults talking to them, playing quiet games, a couple of toy cars, a pack of stickers and a notepad of paper to make sticker pictures on.

No screeching, no iPad, no chasing them round other than walking the toddler (my nephew) around the pub garden for a few minutes not long before we left.

Yep. That's how we do it.
I'm really looking forwards to the days they'll just sit there and chat but until then I accept I'll have to entertain them a little / keep asking them to behave and sit down.

The only attitude i instill in my kids is wear headphones

Exactly.

I'd love to sit and eat a meal in peace without having to play I spy, draw a car or have my arm covered in stickers, but I chose to have kids and that means I have to parent my kids

We're a no Ipad family so we sing, cheer and boogie in our seats until food comes. Sometimes we get people at the neighbouring tables to join in.

We love informing them that we're not an ipad family and they always nod in approval.

Our 3 year old is very restless and we don't really want her running around the restaurant getting under waiting staff's feet.

We explain this if we have to and have never had any complaints.

Does help having a big cheery smile on your face.

it's obviously not as simple as that...

I think it is as simple as that.

do you have children? If so, more than one?

It absolutely is as simple as that.

I've got four children.

Selfish

Why does it have to be simple? Good parenting isn't easy.

Yes, 3.

Lazy parenting it is.

I'd struggle to not use my phone when out for a meal, so can imagine how difficult it is for a child these days. It's worth just giving in for a relaxing meal rather than the stress.

You do know what parenting is, right??