To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

[ThisSereneSnail]

Split finances = split energy.

You are with the wrong man if you have to do twice the emotional work.
It basically sounds like you either only know, or have only ever met absolute dick heads.
Or you are a 15 year old boy who has watched too much spcial media.
Adults don't need to live in energys and auras.

lead and love with purpose 🙄

Sounds like some of that influencer shit.

Agreed. If not exactly the darkest, we're certainly living in the stupidest timeline at the moment.

Masculine financial leadership????

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That is not a lesson I’m teaching my DD.

This approach leads to women who are suffering from DA being stuck. It’s the most dangerous approach to have. Earn to your best ability, be as financially independent as possible. Men need to be 50:50 with all the other bits.

No, she's apparently had partners who met her standards, but they seem not to have stuck around.

Well don’t do the majority of the housework, childcare and life admin - I never have as I’m in a positive relationship with respect and support.

I'm not sure I follow what " emotional labour " involves but I know I'm very lacking in
tact and empathy and there's no way in hell I'd want to be in charge of the emotional labour in my marriage. Not up my street at all. My husband is probably doing this job..

Talking about Masculine energy is super big at the moment in the states on some of the most sexist and outrageous podcast’s of men who think women are just for making babies, cooking and cleaning If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know I don’t think MN will be much help. And also the birth rate is dropping in many countries so that speaks volumes in itself in my opinion.

It means I value a dynamic where both partners bring different strengths - not identical roles but complimentary ones. For me, that includes masculine provision: stability, initiative and protection. In return, I bring emotional grounding, care, and support. That may sound outdated to some but for plenty of women, it’s not about the 1950s. It’s about alignment in 2025.

Everyone’s free to choose what works for them. I’ve simply chosen not to split bills with someone I’m also supposed to build a life with. That’s not regression, it’s discernment.

Have you thought of living in the Middle East?

You might have a better chance of finding your financial arrangement love out there.

What a load of utter nonsense. There's nothing masculine about paying bills.

I’d rather pull off my own eyelashes than ever have any kind of financial dependence on a man. But you do you.

not someone who expects their partner to carry half the load while doing twice the emotional work.

Here's an idea....stop doing twice the emotional work. You don't have to and you don't need to.

You sound like a pound shop Miriam Cates.

No you haven't struck a nerve , but I was momentarily fearful I had been beamed back to 1952 and I may be given housekeeping at the beginning of the week . Fortunately neither me or my DH subscribe to your antiquated twaddle and we have always shared the bills , household jobs and childcare very equally .

No relationship is both people playing the same position. Regardless of whether you pay 50/50 on bills or one pays everything, different people still have different strengths.

We are more "traditional" in our domestic roles than you'd think if you just knew me (I have a good career, I'm very independent, love DH to bits but I'm very much "the boss" at home). I am the better cook so I do that and the shopping that goes with it, I like the washing up (ten minutes with my music on makes it almost mindful), the laundry etc as I WFH most days. He prefers "tinkering" so he does the cars, the DIY, fixing, making, etc. He also works on site 5 days a week, so that's accounted for.

We share the childcare, outside of my non working days. Everything is covered by one of us, but neither of us "holds" more than half, on average. There are times I need to pick up more and times he does. We do that. Because we're a team and rather than only playing to our strengths, we do what is needed to keep the family ticking over.

You might prefer a "masculine provider", but I'm not entirely sure you know what that actually means. DH is very laid back, to the outsider it will look like I get my own way all the time. In reality, I get it most of the time, because he genuinely doesn't mind either way. If he does, he gets his way (or we have a discussion if I'm entirely against his way but that's rare). This doesn't mean he's not "masculine" or a "provider". He's both. I also "provide", it just looks different. Doesn't make me "masculine".

And you’re single 🤔

What absolute codswallop. I’m sure you consider yourself to be a highly intelligent and eloquent person. Instead your posts show you to just be a pure money grabbing leach.

Second this!!

'Financial leadership' - funniest thing I've read on here in a very long time. I can't respect any woman unable to provide for herself and see men as her equal.

Well ok. There are plenty of men (generally a certain type of men) that are into being the provider and paying the bills.
Good luck with it 🤷‍♀️.

Not sure why you're telling the rest of us though.

I think you’ve misunderstood - I’m not saying I don’t expect those things from a partner. Of course emotional intelligence, loyalty and peace should be mutual.

My point was that those are the things I bring and in return, I value a man who provides financial leadership and stability. It’s not about doing everything myself emotionally while he just pays for dinner. It’s about complimentary strengths, not identical roles. When both people show up in aligned ways that work for them, that’s where the real balance happens.

Trust me, our 'dynamic' isn't 'roommate'

🤣🤣🤣. Finances have nothing to do with that.

The type of man who would be attracted to this set up tends to have a wandering cock that he knows can wander freely as the woman is trapped at home with no financial means of escape.

If a woman expecting reciprocity and respect in a relationship makes you reach for slurs, that says more about you than me. We’re clearly not having the same conversation - I’m speaking about standards, you’re speaking from bitterness.