To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

[ThisSereneSnail]

Split finances = split energy.

Of course love comes into it, but there are other things as well. For example I would not want to be with an impotent man.

I find more disturbing that there are women who do not understand their divinity and think being feminine is anti feminist. Why do you view it as the woman is being subservient and depending on the man? Does money = power to you?

You talk about fighting for equality like that’s superior to having peace in equilibrium.

If the women who stay home to look after their children and cook meals, keep a tidy home etc are considered “subservient”, then I see it that men are just as “subservient” to the needs of their families by taking care of them financially. Going out to work and paying bills.

There is so much happiness to be found in supporting eachother to each have specific roles in a marriage and partnership rather than both scrambling to do it all and not as well as you’re pulled in so many directions.

But your previous post says that in your religion the husband "has to pay all the bills, pay the mortgage." That certainly sounds as though he is obligated to pay for everything. So if you contribute, he would not be upholding his religious obligations?

Thinking about this, I've had 2 lengthy marriages (widowed from the first) and from day one of living together, all money went into the joint pot, in both. Good times and bad, feast and famine, big inheritances and student beans on toast.

I think the moral is don't be with someone who is not financially decent and honest, be as sure as you can of that ASAP and the day you find out anything that makes you think they're not, run like the effing wind (male or female)

Oh OP. You sounds totally nuts. But thanks for a brilliant Giggle with all your ‘masculine energy’ nonsense.

tbh it just sounds like you’re lazy and entitled and don’t want to work, so you’re dressing it up to make yourself feel better!

I've only read the first post, but I can't make head nor tail from the complete word salad the OP posts.

Thankfully neither me or my husband live in the 1950s. We both earn roughly the same so pay equally into our joint account. And as we both work we also do 50/50 housework and parenting. If anything he probably does more than me! It's thankfully never been anything that's been a bone of contention between us!

Let's hope your hubby never gets made redundant or develops ED... You sound like a charmer!

Er. . . are you O.K.? What an odd and aggressive response.

<Continues to back away slowly from any more interaction with this poster.>

Money brings the option of independence. I say option because right now you don't need it or want it.
If your DH dies, leaves or starts treating you badly, you might change your mind.

I don't see anything feminine about looking after your own children, cooking and cleaning. I expect any adult who wants to have children to contribute equally to all of that.

We don't feel pulled in many directions at all and I certainly wouldn't feel at peace or happy if I had to be a SAHM. No thank you.

I find more disturbing that there are women who do not understand their divinity

Women are not divine. We are not God. We are homo sapiens sapiens and part of the same species as the half with the Y chromosome. More connects us than divides us but it has been a big lot of battle to even gain some rights because we aren't usually as physically strong. I'm not prepared to see them rolled back because someone thinks "being feminine" is in any way important, thank you very much.

Yes but I have the choice to waive that obligation if and when I choose

Holy hell, they are multiplying!

Love but only if he’s wealthy?

Do you work outside the home?

That’s good for you.

I love being with my children and I love supporting my husband and family in the way feels most natural to me

Agree! AI generated posts never make much sense!

I love my children and supporting my DH and family - doesn’t mean I can’t have a successful career and outsource the cleaning, ironing, shopping etc.

I love being with my children too but I also love my career and financial independence.

My husbands currently hoovering downstairs but I suspect if I was to approach him about doing an emotional check in or making sure I was present for the correct alingment of values in our relationship, he'd be sprinting out the front door. Likewise if he did the same to me!

If the man does the childcare and housework, is he now feminine?

Femininity is nothing to do with whether you cook or clean or doing the "caring". Masculinity is nothing to do with earning money.

To be feminine literally means "to be female" and to be masculine means "to be male". A bit like to be feline means "to be a cat".

What? You don’t think sex workers deserve to be paid?

I'm bewildered that there are seemingly some women today who cling to attitudes that my born 1890s Nan would have spurned. She deeply regretted having to give up her career on marriage (there was no choice) and one of her favourite sayings was "If you spoil a boy, you make a rod for another woman's back". Her sons were expected to muck in with household chores. Amazingly, they survived.

I tthink it has plangency today.

Why do you view it as the woman is being subservient and depending on the man? Does money = power to you?

Yes, of course. Unless you live entirely off grid and weave all your own lentils, you need money to live. And if you don't earn an income, you are depending on another person - why can decide to stop financing you at any time.

If he has sufficient income to support myself and our family

I wouldn't want an impotent husband because I want children