To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

[ThisSereneSnail]

Split finances = split energy.

Whatever the OP is referring to when they put invisible labour

Are we to infer that spending hours on social media promoting your regressive relationship ideology is Feminine Nurturer Energy? Do the 'masculine providers' i.e. incels agree? Aren't you supposed to be tending the home, raising the children, providing sexual services on demand?

Definitely wearing Toast! Their marketing bollocks uses the same AI guffery.

Try doing it barefoot in wafty linen, from under your eyelashes. While he checks the pension growth online. Or something 🤷🏼‍♀️

Should I be bringing him a copy of the Financial Times?🤣

I am 30 years into marriage. We have both always worked full-time and split childcare, laundry, cooking and all duties equally. Our kids have now left home and our relationship is better than ever. No regrets at all.

I would never go into a relationship depending on a man. I decided that in my teens, and fortunately my adult kids feel the same, the boys and the girls.

In my religion the husband has to pay all the bills, pay the mortgage. And I get to keep ALL my income.

Which religion is this? Asking for OP!

Why?

For me, the nerve hit is that there are women like you being poor role models for the next generation. My kids are lucky and that they have equal and feminist parents. But you are spreading the message that it is okay for women to be subservient and depend upon men. It makes me angry that there are still women like you around Undermining the fight for equality.

Yet another reason I am very happy to be an atheist. I could never submit to a religion that dictated I couldn't be an equal participant in my own marriage.

Most religions are patriarchal and sexist in any case. Men may be required to pay the bills, but they certainly have the better deal.

Islam

I have different but equal responsibilites in marriage.

What happens if your DH is in a low paid job which isn’t enough to cover the mortgage, bills etc?

I am Muslim. This bears no resemblance to the life of any Muslim I know.

But you can't contribute financially? Thanks but no thanks.

If you scratch the surface, I think you will find that most religions favour men.

Can you explain what you mean by financial leadership? I’m struggling to understand what you mean by this when you seem to say that it doesn’t mean being the higher earner.

What a dumb, arrogant, smug post. No religion dictates that women can't contribute financially if they want to do it. But yes, some religions decree that women aren't obligated to contribute financially. No one forces you to keep your own money, by all means subside a man if you want to, God won't send you to Hell for it, lol.

Before acting so smug online about your beliefs, maybe know what you're being smug about first.

He does, and our kids, but obviously he has less time to do so as he is working, but when he’s at home yes absolutely. Maybe nurture isn’t the right word but I’m sure you know what I mean. The main point is we have our “roles” and does bring harmony and balance to us.

"I mean that when the financial foundation isn’t solid or feels uneven, it can ripple into everything else "

with either partner paying the majority, then it's uneven.

This might sound harsh, but I wouldn't have gotten married to someone on a low paid job.

DH and I have both always worked full time but DH, a doctor, is much better at the nurturing. Time has little to do with the ‘role’.

So love doesn’t come into it ?

Regardless of what she thinks it means I read it as financial control. Financial leadership sounds like corporate speak.

I can if I want to. I'm not obligated to.