‘D’ H really upset me regarding wedding pics and not looking the like the same person anymore

[oilump]

I’m not sure if I’m being sensitive here but just visiting my parents with my H and kids and my H picked up our wedding album.

I did immediately think, ah why look at it now.

he said to my DD, come and look at when mummy ‘ was ‘ a princess. He then looked up and said ‘ emphasis on ‘ was ‘’.. and did a nasty little laugh. I let it go.

then he was looking at the pics and my dad came by and he said ‘ who is this woman in these pics, I don’t recognise her ? ‘ and laughed. He said it a few times.

I lost him and told him to F off and took the book out of his hands.

he knows how much I struggle with how my body has changed after two kids. He knows how much I’m fighting to look like myself again. He knows how much it hurts every single day and how much I hate myself.

is this really something to laugh about in front of my family ?

I just feel like it’s a massive betrayal.

It’s interesting that you were worried about his intentions when he picked up the album - if he’s normally nice then what made you feel afraid about what he might say? Sounds like he can actually be cruel as otherwise you wouldn’t have suspected anything?

You're not the one who should be ashamed. He is.

This is clear as anything to any reasonable person OP. 💐

Sorry, @oilump i got distracted by more knobbish comments on the thread!

If he knows how unhappy you are, it was a knobbish thing to say. Is he still looking the same as he did seven years ago? Is it ok for you to mock him about stuff he finds difficult? No? Then why would he think this comment is ok for you to make? Really when you think, is it out of character for him? In which case he should explain himself and apologise! And if it isn’t, maybe you need to believe him as he is telling you what he’s like.

What should I do ? My dad took him out because I was so angry.

How horrible. Can you discuss it with him OP? It sounds like he was trying to hurt you.

Sorry, OP, I just saw you told him to fuck off. I hope he’s apologised.

I agree. He can be cruel about how many things I don’t want to do because I hate myself so much. But he’s not usually cruel about how I look if that makes sense ?

he thinks I’m ridiculous and too hung up on my looks.

Wow @oilump - those were nasty nasty comments. Utterly spiteful and said to hurt you. I don’t think I could get past it.

I mean you’re not wrong but way to miss the point and stick the boot in 🙄

I’d tell him in no uncertain terms that if he ever speaks to me like that again the wedding album will become obsolete.

He sounds horrible. I suppose he is nothing less than the Adonis he was when you met?!

I’d be trying to give him a taste of his own medicine.

‘Cruel’ is not an adjective you should ever need to use about your husband.

Spectacularly missing the point of the thread and not all bodies are created equally. Lots of women's bodies are changed by carrying and birthing two children. Jabs aren't the answer to everything.

You grew him babies and this is the thanks you receive. Your body is wonderful OP. Don't allow this man to make you feel ashamed.

Your father and husband sound awful. No wonder you feel so awful about yourself.

Yea but it dosen't make you put on 3 stone and not lose it... the population is just getting fatter and 99% of the time it's just excuses.... let's be honest. Don't make out getting fat is compulsory...and the rest of us are just 'lucky'..

Yes, I noticed that as well!

What a nasty, cruel thing to do to you OP. You are not being unreasonable at all.

Why would he want to be so nasty towards you? Has he always been that way and you've only just started to notice, because your focus is heavily on yourself at the moment?

To be honest, it says A LOT about how insecure he is becoming now your working on yourself. He is massively projecting.

Do you not think that maybe he is a source of your low self esteem? He should be supporting you, not tearing you down.

Can I ask gently, why does your changing body make you so unhappy? The shape of your body if not important. What matters is your character and your friendships and your love for your children.

could a tiny fraction of your DH be right in saying you worry about your body too much?

My dad would've properly pulled him up on it and told him to leave. Then he would've encouraged me and the kids to stay overnight or as long as we wanted to and told me not to put up with that kind of shit.

I miss my dad ❤️‍🩹

Nobody should be advising anyone to take ozempic. You can’t get off it once on it and it causes a whole bunch of nasty side effects which can dramatically age someone and make your skin hang.

Of course they were wrong!! Being pregnant and carrying babies can change your body in numerous ways not just carrying a few extra pounds.

@Dillydollydingdong My feet went up a shoe size during my first pregnancy, that was 22 years ago. I've long since lost the pregnancy weight, my shoe size remains one size bigger. I'd love to know how you would make my feet shrink?

This is bollocks.

Anyway…he was particularly unkind to comment as he knows you have low self-esteem right now. My husband would’ve said something like ‘you’re even more beautiful today’. Which I know isn’t true, but he believes it and that’s the sort of thing a nice husband says.

Prick.