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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

1000 replies

HazelMaker · 18/04/2025 13:11

The 1990s

OP posts:
VictoriaEra · 18/04/2025 14:08

FastFood · 18/04/2025 13:48

Being a Parisian

Oh no! That does look romantic to an outsider. Why?

twilightcafe · 18/04/2025 14:08

Caring for elderly relatives.

OhWhistle · 18/04/2025 14:08

Birthdays

I forget my own

ummymummy · 18/04/2025 14:08

Twins/Multiples

craycray431 · 18/04/2025 14:09

Being single and living in the city. Expensive, and not every man you come by asks you out/swoons over you!
Working a demanding high powered job - Looong hours and stress.

JHound · 18/04/2025 14:10

Oh and I hate “people are SO sensitive now. People were not so easily offended in the past”.

Yes they were. There has never been a period in history where we did not have people who were outraged at trivial things. The only thing that changes is the trivial thing people get outraged over.

Pandimoanymum · 18/04/2025 14:10

“Blitz Spirit” and anything that implies everyone was pulling together through adversity and society now would be so much better, if only we were like that.
No, it was shit and the crime rate went through the roof during the blackouts. There were nice helpful people and there were horrible people who took advantage of the situation - just as there always has been.

Frowningprovidence · 18/04/2025 14:11

Home to school transport for sen children.

Needhelp101 · 18/04/2025 14:12

Hastentoadd · 18/04/2025 14:02

Did that work?
Never heard of people doing that,

Does have a bit of a Withnail vibe about it, although that was DeepHeat, if I remember rightly.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 18/04/2025 14:12

That having a line of coke is a bit of fun.
On so many levels, it’s not.
Edited to add: I have never taken it.
But I’ve been in two relationships it’s destroyed. I’ve lived in one place watching young people destroyed being involved in dealing it.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 18/04/2025 14:12

SlagPit · 18/04/2025 13:24

Do people romanticise that?

They can do. Like being told having an autistic child is going to be an amazing journey - that has been said to me.

DS is amazing, he is funny, clever, caring and interesting, I love him to bits.

But it's also hard work to do anything, just getting him to leave the house can take an hour or more, he's put me in A&E on multiple occasions, the sleep deprivation has been brutal, the stress over every aspect of life is brutal, the financial side is heading towards disaster, DH and I are constantly exhausted. I would not describe the 'journey' as amazing, more as frustrating and damaging.

SpringSunshineanddaffodils · 18/04/2025 14:13

Definitely the 90s.

Chypre · 18/04/2025 14:14

Socialism

Surferosa · 18/04/2025 14:14

I haven't lived it as per se but people seem to romanticise multi-generation living as being some sort of utopia and the answer to everything. I work in adult social work and have come across a few situations like this, usually people from different cultures and they've all been without exception ended up an utter shit show. Scenarios such as toddlers and adults with advanced dementia living under the same roof with no care packages in place because it's the expectation that family will look after the elderly. Except its never the whole family, it's usually one poor woman or two, completely and utter burnt out and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

And a lot of people seem to romanticise as well, the 40s and 50s where people had big families and all lived close together. All my grandparents came from large families of over 10 children and they all lived in very small flats with outdoor toilets. And when all the children grew up and had their own families, there was no grandparent help as the great grandparents had so many children they couldn't possibly dedicate time to them all to help out and siblings were so busy with their own families they had little time to help others out.

My mums own mum worked in an early morning cleaning job while her children slept in bed at home alone which would obviously never happen now. My other grandmother did night shifts as a nurse. While both grandparents were then at home during the day, their main job was housework and cooking without all the modern appliances we had now. Kids would be turfed out onto the street to play.

I feel even though I work full time now my son gets more 1:1 time with me than my parents did with their parents too. My parents say the same even though they hold absolutely no resentment and very much loved their own parents, just a different time!

proximalhumerous · 18/04/2025 14:15

Boarding school.

Being single.

Gustavo77 · 18/04/2025 14:16

Mothers

iloveeverykindofcat · 18/04/2025 14:16

Its not exactly romanticising (though sometimes it is) but binge drinking. Both glorifying and normalizing it. I knew a young person who suffocated in their sleep after a 'session'. It was a long time ago and I'm getting upset right now thinking about it. I wish people would take on board that every time you get that drunk you effectively roll the dice - that it doesn't matter if you only do it ocassionally, or on the odd big night, the worst that can happen is in fact that you die. Thankfully I think the younger people today drink a lot less than my generation (millenials) did.

Echobelly · 18/04/2025 14:17

Dunno if it's quite 'romanticising', but fellow Gen-Xers saying cringey things like 'OUR parents let us out from dusk till dawn and today's pampered snowflakes wouldn't survive that for a MINUTE' as though we were out running iron mans rather than spending an hour or two playing in the park with our siblings/friends 🙄

Branleuse · 18/04/2025 14:18

Heterosexual relationships

Emanresuunknown · 18/04/2025 14:18

Friartruckster · 18/04/2025 13:15

This, and children, and family. So much hard work and little reward.

This is really depressing. My children are so worth however much hard work is involved the joy is infinite

ribbonola · 18/04/2025 14:18

Being thin/ Weight loss/ Eating disorders

BatchCookBabe · 18/04/2025 14:19

twilightcafe · 18/04/2025 14:08

Caring for elderly relatives.

Is that ever romanticised?

mondaytosunday · 18/04/2025 14:20

How university is ‘the time of your life’ and ‘best years ever’ and you’ll make ‘friends for life’ , when in many if not most cases it’s a lonely, scary, difficult time with a few highlights.

SpringSunshineanddaffodils · 18/04/2025 14:20

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 18/04/2025 14:12

That having a line of coke is a bit of fun.
On so many levels, it’s not.
Edited to add: I have never taken it.
But I’ve been in two relationships it’s destroyed. I’ve lived in one place watching young people destroyed being involved in dealing it.

Edited

I have taken it. Not proud of it. Not here to advocate for it.

Can confirm, it's shit. Having a drink is much more fun.

Mudkipper · 18/04/2025 14:20

saywhatdidhesay · 18/04/2025 13:18

Having a touring caravan

Sorry quoted the wrong post.

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